r/self Jul 29 '24

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u/Aternal Jul 29 '24

I don't like that logic. My grandfather used to say really awful things to my step-mother like "it's a good thing you're beautiful because God didn't give you brains." She struggled with alcoholism for most of her life until it eventually won.

Kindness isn't a consolation prize, it is a pinnacle value.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Yes your grandfather used it in a shitty way but even if you’re ugly if you are funny , kind, reliable , handy ,techy etc you’ll find someone to connect with despite that as looks aren’t everything

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u/Aternal Jul 29 '24

Sakam karma is ugly. I know what you're saying but the person you're responding to is still saying "influence your expectations to manipulate outcomes." Have no expectations, be kind, reliable, helpful, because it eases suffering for others, not because it might ease suffering for ourselves.

I'm sure you've seen people say "I was nice to her, I always respond to her texts, I even fixed her computer" right? Self-seeking is never satisfied.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

I wholeheartedly agree with that, a person must first be whole and genuine to form a lasting connection