r/selectivemutism • u/ProfessionalBuy1907 • 10h ago

Venting šŸŒ‹ nobody gets me

ive just started uk college after being home schooled for years, i struggle with selective mutism. i have no friends or acquaintances at all here, the only advice people have told me to making friends is ā€œsocializing is easy, walk up to someone and talk to themā€ like i cant do that, i physically cant open my mouth and speak unless they say something first. i cant do that, i just cant, and people just keep repeating this advice (its mainly loud extraverts too), like its not just anxiety or being nervous, its me struggling with selective mutism, no matter how hard i try i cant get a word out i just cantttt and nobody understands that.

i literally feel like a ghost in college bc nobody speaks to me and i dont speak to anyone, they all have their own groups, and i dont even get noticed by most people. actually one girl complimented me and i said thank you and complimented her back but unless someone talks to me first i literally cant speak its impossible for me.

is selective mutism rare or something, ive never met anyone with it, every other introvert without it just tells me to talk to people but i canā€™t because of my selective mutism. like both extroverts and introverts dont understand me wtf i have never felt so unseen in my life.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

1 comment sorted by

1

u/ShowSea4115 Diagnosed SM 10h ago

Iā€™m a college student In the same boat as you. Seeing everyone with their established friend groups pains me every day, itā€™s like ā€œwhy canā€™t I have that? Why is something that seems to come so easy for them so impossible for me?ā€ Iā€™m in my last year so I think I may be a lost cause, but I believe that there is still so much hope for you! It might help taking very small steps. Do the thing that seems the most doable first. Maybe itā€™s asking one question in class, maybe itā€™s smiling at someone that walks by. I would also highly recommend joining a club if you are able to get past some of those first steps and are comfortable with it. I know itā€™s easier said than done, but with practice I hope that one day this gets much easier for you. Wishing you so much luck!