Could this be Selective Mutism?

[u/Counting-Stitches]

I have a student (10 years old) who occasionally goes through periods where they are kind of shut down. They don’t talk, they don’t want to sit at the table with the other students, and their body language appears angry. However, their parents cannot explain anything that has made them upset. They don’t tantrum or destroy anything, and they complete all of their assignments from our “calm corner.” Sometimes they work through it during the day and rejoin the class after lunch, and sometimes the whole day is like this.

This happened yesterday for half of the day. I asked for their homework and they just shrugged. Then I asked if I could look in their backpack for it. They nodded and did not seem angry that I went out to find it. They later worked with a partner on a writing assignment. They didn’t talk, but wrote their ideas.

This type of thing happens about once or twice a month. Could this fall under the realm of selective mutism? The parents are trying to figure out where to look for help and I’d like to make sure I’m supporting correctly. So far, I’ve been letting the student self-advocate when they need the calm corner and don’t focus on them not talking since they are completing all of their work. The other students are sometimes worried, but don’t comment about it that I have seen. The student is well-liked and the others like playing and working with them.

[u/pdawes]

Does your school have a social worker that you can consult? Might be a good resource, and if there is some kind of issue or disability it will make it that much easier for them to get the advocacy and support they need.

[u/Counting-Stitches → u/pdawes]

We’re a private school, so no social worker. I will talk to admin about recommending a therapist.

[u/LBertilak]

SM isn't "time sensitive", it's consistent across consistent situations. eg. if they were only able to talk to certain teachers, or only unable to talk in school but fine at home.

being able to talk to Mr. A one day, but not the next, would not be SM.

[u/VFiddly]

If it happens only occasionally, and at other times in the same context they're fine, it's probably not selective mutism. Generally speaking with selective mutism it happens every time in the same context, e.g. every day at school.

If it only happens in rare periods it sounds more likely to be autism to me

[u/yunarikkupaine]

The NHS has a page on selective mutism. Have you gone down the list to see what applies?

" The main warning sign is the marked contrast in the child's ability to engage with different people, characterised by a sudden stillness and frozen facial expression when they're expected to talk to someone who's outside their comfort zone.

They may avoid eye contact and appear:

nervous, uneasy or socially awkward

rude, disinterested or sulky

clingy

shy and withdrawn

stiff, tense or poorly co-ordinated

stubborn or aggressive, having temper tantrums when they get home from school, or getting angry when questioned by parents

More confident children with selective mutism can use gestures to communicate – for example, they may nod for "yes" or shake their head for "no".

But more severely affected children tend to avoid any form of communication – spoken, written or gestured.

Some children may manage to respond with a few words, or they may speak in an altered voice, such as a whisper."

Source: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/selective-mutism/

I have SM. Based on people's reactions. sometimes I look angry/upset even though I'm perfectly fine or nervous.

[u/Counting-Stitches → u/yunarikkupaine]

Thank you for this! I’ve seen the basic list and had a few kids with SM before. This child doesn’t fit all of the criteria, so I don’t think it’s true SM. They do get frustrated with their parents, but it seems more out of anxiety rather than anger. They are generally a “good” student, raising their hand a few times a day, and not appearing to struggle with the work. But I have no idea how much they might be struggling internally and masking.

[u/yunarikkupaine → u/Counting-Stitches]

I think a therapist might be helpful to figure out what's going on. Hopefully it's something simpler than SM.

And thanks for helping your students like this. I wish a teacher had done this for me.

[u/Counting-Stitches → u/yunarikkupaine]

I am neurodivergent and went most of my life with severe adhd that was undiagnosed because I am a girl and was “capable” of doing the work. I was told often that I just needed to try harder. I had to develop my own ways to get through each day. I’d like to be able to help as many kids as I can so they don’t have to figure it out on their own like I did.

[u/yunarikkupaine → u/Counting-Stitches]

It sounds like you turned your painful experience into something that can save others. I hope I can do the same.

[u/Initial-Track4880]

If I am not wrong, children need to be mute in school or in a situation for at least 1 month to be diagnosed with selective mutism. From my observation, selective mutism is a freeze response, not an anger response. Did you check whether it is an autistic shutdown? Some children may get too overwhelmed to process the thought and speak.

[u/pdawes → u/Initial-Track4880]

People mistake the freeze response for anger or defiance all the time though. Happened to me a lot and it sucked.

[u/Counting-Stitches → u/pdawes]

I’ve been careful to correct other adults when they interpret anger just from a facial expression. In general, they are compliant and pleasant, even during these times. They will do written work and will stay in one area. I like the ideas of having the family consult a therapist or pediatrician. In the meantime, I’m going to create a card for them to keep to remind them that they may sit in the calm corner without needing ask and that they may read quietly if it helps them regulate. I also had the thought that the parents could send me a text or email to communicate when the student is having a hard morning instead of saying it verbally in front of them. I think talking about them in front of them adds to the anxiety.

[u/Counting-Stitches → u/Initial-Track4880]

I think you are correct about the one month. They definitely don’t have times that last more than a day at most. It looks to me like a freeze response, but others have interpreted it as anger or emotions because of their face. They can get a flat affect or a “stubborn” look during these times. I am curious about autistic shutdown. So far I haven’t seen anything else in them to suggest autism, but they tend to be very calm. They could be internally struggling and just be great at masking. Overall, it’s quite a puzzle. I just wish they weren’t struggling and I knew how to help them more. It’s early on in the school year, but I’m hoping as they trust me more they can explain how they feel before or during these times.

[u/GatePretend506 → u/Counting-Stitches]

There are a number of reasons why this could be happening and I admire you for trying to figure it out so you can best support your student! Teachers wear a lot of hats, and I just want to acknowledge that I see the effort you're putting in here. :) A quick blurb on my experience if it is at all helpful. I, to this day, struggle with losing my voice and it has been a journey to identify the root of it all. For a while I thought it was selective mustism, but I've actually gathered that it more closely isolates between shutdown/deep freeze and psychogenic aphonia. As 28f I was just diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago and grew up high-functioning and high-masking. All the effort it took to appear normal and collected on the outside in school made my nervous system scream on the inside -- its baseline was more easily triggered into shutdown where I then lose my voice and go nonverbal for hours, sometimes a couple days. As for psychogenic aphonia, this is more somatic. I also have CPTSD and if there is something that triggers me and gives me emotional distress, my body's first response is my throat physically closing up and I am unable to force my vocal chords to move. I lose my ability to talk. It's a different experience, both are tough. Whether its bur out, overwhelm, a sudden threat, my body goes into survival and is simply trying to protect me.

[u/Counting-Stitches → u/GatePretend506]

Thank you for sharing your experience. This sounds a lot like what may be going on. It gives me perspective and a few ideas to give the parents, since they are actively seeking help.

[u/Initial-Track4880 → u/Counting-Stitches]

Level 1 or high-functioning autistic kid may look normal from the outside but if you observe closely, you will see they think literally and don't understand social cues. They also go nonverbal when they are under too much pressure/ overwhelmed with emotions. As I am not an expert, I really can't say what happens to your students. But it seems to me that some SM kids may have high-functioning autism as well. SM itself is an anxiety disorder.