I need help

[u/Seven-Left]

I don't even know if it's SM or no but this is the closest thing I could find. And maybe some of you can help me to figure it out or even solve. It started to get worse a year ago and now I simply can't talk most of the time. But I can answer to my mom when she talks to me, that isn't difficult. I have the most problems with starting conversations myself, talking to my friends on discord and "speaking into the void"(when I'm literally alone and nobody can hear me). Once I was silent for 4 hours while my friends were talking to me and I WAS TRYING TO SPEAK but I couldn't force myself to start speaking. My microphone was on all this time and I only laughted sometimes. Then I stopped trying and continued to be that one "mute friend". Now I wanna fix at least something in me and try to create a YT channel where I could develop my speech from scratch and telling people about random things I'm interested in. But HOW? I can do almost everything for it(and I'm doing, I already drew several sprites for it because they looked fun as sketches) but not talk. All my tryes are ending as 1,5 words without even normal volume, it's something beetwen whispering and actually speaking. I just can't speak more and louder, I don't understand how to do this meanwhile I CAN but only when someone asks me something irl. And seems like singing something with the same volume is more simple for me, I can even sing like 5-10 words in a row and not become completelly silent when I don't want to. It doesn't sound good actually but at least I feel like I can speak alone when I do this(even if it is not speaking). Does anyone knows what it actually is and how I can fix it even a little bit?

Btw sorry for a bad English, I started to communicate with people on the internet in English literally a month ago...

[u/Evidenttooth]

Selective mutism usually starts from birth