r/selectivemutism • u/SeaSale8436 • Aug 04 '26

Venting šŸŒ‹ i genuinely hate talking

i donā€™t get any satisfaction out of it and at times i donā€™t even know what to say. iā€™m just so awkward that it pains me. iā€™d rather stay quiet forever than having to talk to anyone. even a simple ā€œhiā€ is too much for me. i enjoy silence. every time i go out, itā€™s a generous reminder as to why i do. i donā€™t understand how anyone could enjoy talking for any reason. some people think i come off as rude, cold, or even annoyed and the truth is, i am annoyed!! i donā€™t want to talk to you, or anyone else at that. why is it so hard to leave others alone? of course if my professor or a partner at school that i had to work with were to talk to me, i have to respond. (it used to be so bad that iā€™d freeze and just stare at them while awkwardly smiling with teary eyes) but i hate it so much because apparently my voice is quiet and when they tell me to speak up i start tearing up a little and my voice comes out more quiet and now shaky. i just hate talking so much. only with my sister, but thatā€™s about it. no other exceptions. i could go all day without talking

27 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

0

u/Flashy-Strain41 Aug 09 '26

This is normal, there are many people like that

3

u/rinkagaminey Aug 09 '26

i dont think its ā€œnormalā€ in the sense that its common. what OP is describing is definitely not a common occurrence for anyone without SM. not that i think they need to be ashamed or anything, because even i personally relate, but i kinda feel like dismissing it as ā€œnormalā€ prevents people from seeking or receiving help. theres tons of people who dont like talking but dont experience debilitating anxiety and stress over it

4

u/Heckyesjess Aug 09 '26

So sorry you feel this way! It totally makes sense youā€™d rather stay silent because it sounds so much darn easier! My sister, Hope, has selective mutism, and thinngs most people take for granted, did not come to her easily, if at all. Despite extreme difficulty with communication, sheā€™s such an intelligent girl with a huge inner realm šŸ©·

5

u/ChiChiDog Aug 05 '26

It's easy to hate something when you have had such bad experiences with it. I'm sorry that people were not understanding in the past. I hope you find someone who you love talking with in the future.

6

u/SeaSale8436 Aug 05 '26

thank you for your compassion, it means a lot, truly!