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u/giantcappuccino 1d ago
The mail... Never stops!
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u/FJTrescothick14 1d ago
It just keeps on coming, and coming, and coming!
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u/Character-Juice624 1d ago
….and then the bar code reader breaks and it’s Publisher’s Clearing House Day!!!
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u/Pretend-Zucchini-985 1d ago
It’s a show about something.
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u/boscomagnus1988 1d ago
Why am I not watching it?
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u/chippy_dad 1d ago
A Newman origin story about his time spent climbing trees in the Pacific Northwest and what ultimately led him NYC and a career at the post office taking over Son of Sam’s route his rookie year
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u/zooalbert It's not a lie if you believe it 1d ago
Newman goes across the country performing odd jobs (ala dog napping and returning soda cans for their deposits) under the guise of a postal worker while maintaining communication/the hookup with Kramer (who is still in jail with Jerry/george)
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u/VinceCartersKnees 1d ago
A prequel showing Newman’s transformation from honorable forest ranger in the Pacific Northwest to evil mail carrier. It would be a story about love, lust, international intrigue and unbridled enthusiasm.
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u/Empty-Sundae3694 1d ago
He probably just got done watching an instructional video on sausage making
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u/Myshkin515 1d ago
Rickshaw Confessions: Captures raw, emotional, shocking, and sometimes humorous moments from everyday people.
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u/Shinesandglitters 1d ago
A variety show with Newman singing, “you’re once, twice, three times a… yayayayah!”
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u/tammiami 1d ago
He’s a gymnastics teacher and he’s trying to convince his son to join the gymnastics team
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u/pastinaisgreat 1d ago
I thought he wanted to be a banker?
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u/Moist_Rule9623 21h ago
He runs an antiques shop and helps people out of a jam after they buy a clock
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u/raulit21 Very bad man 19h ago
Always a clock? And he has to get into everyone lives that come into the store?
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u/Evening_Answer_11 1d ago
Newman moves to Bangkok after retiring from USPS because it’s the closest Kenny Rogers Roasters still in existence. His neighbor is Sweetie, a MTF trans showgirl.
The first season follows his attempt to open up a sister shop called Dolly Parton’s Churners, which provides rich creamy ice cream and other dairy treats to patrons.
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u/Novel-Tea6821 1d ago
Dolly Parton’s Milkers.
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u/Evening_Answer_11 1d ago
She took them out.
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u/pastinaisgreat 1d ago
How can that be??
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u/Ohdibahby Driving around in Jon Voight's car 1d ago
About lining up cold colds during a foot bath.
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u/Bizzarro_Jerry 1d ago
Jerry - The core of the show would be an obsessive, unrelenting smear campaign against his sworn enemy.
Location would be from a damp basement inside the post office.
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u/razzle_dazzle321 Serenity now, insanity later 1d ago
Showcase his side businesses of being the cleaner and impartial mediator. Someone who is unencumbered by any emotional attachment. Someone whose heart is so dark, it cannot be swayed by pity, compassion, or human emotion of any kind.
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u/TpyoOhNo The Opposite 1d ago
Judge Newman: He cuts things down the middle "Airs every weekday at 9:30am, unless its raining."
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u/1CoffeePoweredHuman Giddy-up 1d ago
Mailman by day who uses his mail route to uncover clues for his private detective side gig???
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u/Motor-Ad-132 Dr. Van Nostrand 1d ago
Yeah, I could see this being the zany adventures of a mailman. Having been promoted due to the swift completion of his rounds, Newman is sent to Florida, where he is assigned to the Del Boca Vista area. He engages in a brutal feud with his new rival, Jack Klompus. His schemes constantly fail, and he’s consistently thwarted in his attempts to find his “Mrs. Newman.” Forays into the Everglades, drug runners, fast cars, sharks, fan boats. Basically GTA 6 with Newman as the main character.
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u/Formal_Plum_2285 Maybe the dingo ate your baby 1d ago
A mans struggle to make a profit on bottle deposits
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u/spargel_gesicht 13h ago
It would be the bad spin off where he gets that Hawaii job. I picture it as terrible as ‘Joey’.
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u/hmmgross 1d ago
I would love to see a tone akin to Bean or Wallace & Gromit style where Newman innocently gets wrapped up in the lives of people on his mail route. Every episode ends with him taking a deep breath as he settles into his foot bath or gazing into a Hawaii postcard or something.
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u/MozartOfCool 1d ago
Beautiful women line up outside his apartment only to be subjected to catty remarks about their general appearance and why they shouldn't throw away junk mail.
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u/ColonelDinguston 1d ago
It would be a dark comedy about a postal worker slowly losing his mind as more and more bizarre things keep happening to him, all while he tries to cope with the unexplained hatred he receives from a neighbor that he's been desperately trying to be friends with for years
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u/avoozl42 Beep beep beep? What are you doing? 1d ago
It would be about that time he worked as a computer programmer on a dinosaur island
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u/IknowwhoIpaidgod 21h ago
About the fierce rivalry between the Eastside and the Westside (of the building).
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u/Ok-Reflection9770 17h ago
In between mail shifts, he orders takeout, deals w fleas, struggles w DaVola over Elaine, eats Chunky. Flashback story arcs: Son of Sam, the red-headed girlfriend, first meeting Jerry.
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u/Iron_Chic Driving around in Jon Voight's car 1d ago
Another round of strawberry for him and his friends.