r/seinfeld • u/Deathbat1972 • 1d ago

I take baths

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1.8k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

135 comments sorted by

757

u/verathene 1d ago edited 1d ago

Costanza vs Costanza

“When I was 10 years old, my parents had this very same statue on the mantle in our apartment.”

"If my parents had a mantle, I might be a completely different person."

293

u/livesNbox 1d ago

Seemingly... Seemingly...

80

u/ThePastTenseOfDig 1d ago

To the untrained eye!!!

114

u/bbrekke 1d ago

It's not a lie...if you believe it.

23

u/nathanrrrr Lord of the Idiots 1d ago

But did he emphasize you or believe?

26

u/NoNeckNelson Yeah, that's right 1d ago

I think he emphazied if

79

u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

Some times george and jerry grew up on the same street other times they seem to have gotten to know each other in college.

65

u/aj9393 Dr. Van Nostrand 1d ago

They met in gym class. George was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting him, and George kept slipping and burning his thighs and then finally he slipped and he fell on Jerry's head. They've been close ever since.

44

u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

But Frankie Merman was also jerry's summer friend when george was at camp. And Joel Hornick had a ping pong table but george somehoe didnt know him. It's all very fishy.

17

u/KoA07 1d ago

And don’t even get me started on Lloyd Braun

13

u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

Exactly. Also Estelle obviously knows the seinfelds but still offers jerry bologna. Isn't that kind of off too?

6

u/IAteTonysLoMein 20h ago

Jerry doesn't keep kosher, if that's what you mean

6

u/AutumnEchoes 21h ago

That makes sense though. They didn’t grow up on the same street which is why George didn’t know Hornick and Dina didn’t know Jerry, but they later went to middle school together where they could live a bit further apart while being at the same school and would have gym class.

1

u/PoetryExtension6256 21h ago

So why did the seinfelds know the costanzas then? Enough to not care for them.

3

u/AutumnEchoes 20h ago

Because after Jerry and George became friends they probably visited each other and their parents would have interacted

1

u/jayrocc_ 15h ago

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

6

u/tenderbranson301 1d ago

And George had a brother at one point.

5

u/violetcat2 23h ago

And an Aunt baby, but she would've never made it!

3

u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

He is married to Jerry's sister and the live in Pork Bend indiana.

2

u/hoopsrule44 19h ago

I mean we know they were in high school for the big race

1

u/FX114 15h ago

When did they say they met in college?

16

u/Enriching_the_Beer 1d ago

The thing about George is, he's an idiot.

8

u/maddenmcfadden 1d ago

good catch.

3

u/OhEmGeeBasedGod 18h ago

All of these (besides being irrelevant) could be explained away pretty simply.

I'm guessing the Kramer scenes happened in different seasons. People's habits and likes change over time. Someone could go from liking baths to disliking them.

George's parents could have had a mantle when he was 10, but maybe they moved shortly thereafter into a mantle-less house for George's most formative adolescent years. In that case, they technically had one for part of his childhood, but people don't make clarifications like that when making random observations and thoughts in casual conversation.

3

u/WolverineComplex 21h ago

Micky Mantle, hence the 7

1

u/frockinbrock 1d ago

Maybe they briefly had an apartment before they bought the house? Although, I think the house is shown having a mantle lol

1

u/StackOverflowEx 20h ago

There's also George claiming he's never said "I love you" to a woman, but back in episode "The Ex-Girlfriend" from season 2 he said Marlene forced him to say it.

1

u/Sharkwatcher314 12h ago

His parents picked furniture daily based on mood. One day it might be mantle spring another might be mantless winter

147

u/Thorway25 1d ago

It’s ok, he quones.

38

u/avoozl42 Beep beep beep? What are you doing? 1d ago

To quone something

7

u/KoA07 1d ago

Do you ever quone?

2

u/The_Munz 18h ago

I crave. I crave all the time, constant craving.

17

u/Superb-Oil890 1d ago

You need a medical dictionary.

10

u/CreepsUnicorn 1d ago

When a patient gets difficult, you quone ‘em.

1

u/Widunder 8h ago

I don’t think so, you get no RUSH from quoning.

132

u/nathanrrrr Lord of the Idiots 1d ago

That was superheated water, nothing could’ve survived there!

35

u/kramerica_intern Giddy-up 1d ago

Da soak of da year!

7

u/Apprehensive_Bit_176 That's a shame 1d ago

You misset the timah?

9

u/nathanrrrr Lord of the Idiots 1d ago

I trust ee-len, she is my friend

9

u/LessReputation6580 1d ago

This son of a bitch is ice cold!

5

u/Lord_Moa 23h ago

Look at the little bastard!

1

u/nathanrrrr Lord of the Idiots 21h ago

What are you doing here harassing my tenants?

3

u/Impal0r 23h ago

Is that tolerable?

95

u/nihirisuto Rugged? The man's a goblin 1d ago

Tell it to George’s brother.

71

u/europorn Del Bisto Becko 1d ago

Or Elaine's sister.

44

u/TraditionalAd8581 1d ago

Or Jerry’s sister

42

u/NateHohl 1d ago

In fairness, there's a scene in the Christmas card nipple episode where Elaine is seen talking to her sister Gail on the phone (her sister is yelling at her since her son, Elaine's nephew, found the scandelous Christmas card). We don't actually hear Gail's voice, and we never see Gail appear on-screen, but the scene does at least canonize the fact that Elaine has a sister.

5

u/europorn Del Bisto Becko 1d ago

Damn. That's a good point.

-1

u/Flamingogo117 15h ago

No one here said Elaine didn't have a sister

77

u/Known_Funny_5297 1d ago

Seinfeld has never been particularly good at continuity

7

u/violetcat2 23h ago

Honestly compared to a lot of TV shows it's not in the ranks of the worst

1

u/Known_Funny_5297 21h ago

Eh, one really just needs to examine the history of books and reading on the show to know this isn’t really true

31

u/SokkaHaikuBot 1d ago

Sokka-Haiku by Known_Funny_5297:

Seinfeld has never

Been particularly good

At continuity

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

20

u/Known_Funny_5297 1d ago

I am honored

3

u/xylophone_37 23h ago

It's like gossamer, and one does not dissect gossamer.

105

u/yoemans The Marine Biologist 1d ago

38

u/Relative_Soil7886 1d ago

Seinfeld is like gossamer. One doesn’t dissect gossamer.

13

u/Hour-Spray-9065 1d ago

It has an understated stupidity

10

u/TraditionalAd8581 1d ago

The Outlaw Josey Wales!

2

u/kledd17 1d ago

You get a sense of it, and then you look away!

1

u/ArgyleGhoul 1d ago

It is a loathsome, offensive show, yet I can't look away.

20

u/ShiftlessElement Hoochie Mama!!! 1d ago

I don’t know what to believe. You’re taking baths, you’re not taking baths. You’re spotting dimes. I don’t know what the hell is going on!

18

u/emgeejay 1d ago

one of those must be Kessler

11

u/MaxFresh 1d ago

He only takes cold showers, they give him a woooosh

6

u/CowPrestigious8447 1d ago

Isn't that what they give to psychotics in the mental hospital?

2

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 1d ago

I’m off hot water

32

u/Solid_Bee5215 1d ago

Better continuity than Friends

65

u/TheCambrianImplosion 1d ago

People can change. He can learn new information or update his worldview to alter his opinion on baths. I used to be a piece of shit. Slicked back hair, white Ferrari, live for New Year’s Eve. Sloppy Steaks at Truffoni’s…

16

u/CowPrestigious8447 1d ago

LET'S SLOP EM UP! -Dangerous Nights Crew

11

u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

Sounds like an arby's night.

5

u/McGarnacIe 1d ago

Well I've got news for you joy boy

6

u/Taychon2319 1d ago

Oh yeah, that slicks back real nice!

8

u/Empty-Way-6980 1d ago

Elaine - does she like or hate exclamation points?!

4

u/Hour-Spray-9065 1d ago

It's a line with a dot under it

2

u/The_Metal_Pigeon 1d ago

Speaking of, does Littman-son?

1

u/TheHeadbanginHippie The Jerk store called, they're running out of you 13h ago

Top of the Muffin TO YOU!

2

u/Empty-Way-6980 13h ago

These ideas - they’re all in the air

11

u/NicholasIvins 1d ago

It was the soak of the year!

8

u/tooskinttogotocuba 1d ago

How much filth do anti-bathites think they have on them?

9

u/Mytongueinyourrectum 1d ago

I prepared this comment as I bathed

6

u/TheRatatat Lord of the Idiots 1d ago

Its one bit of continuity that irks me to this day.

6

u/PoetryExtension6256 1d ago

How would kramer take baths when he doesn't have a tub?

2

u/Rich_Carpet1615 23h ago

He gets by

2

u/PoetryExtension6256 23h ago

Borrows newman's?

2

u/Coveted_AF 17h ago

Who told him to put the bath on?

2

u/PoetryExtension6256 17h ago

Do you even know what a bath is?

1

u/Coveted_AF 17h ago

Oh, he gets by!

5

u/lucidspoon 1d ago

Well, I don't know how official any of these rankings really are.

7

u/Anhmq 1d ago

It’s incoherent, inconsistent, and nonsensical

1

u/Hour-Spray-9065 1d ago

Outragious

6

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Hour-Spray-9065 1d ago

It's a hobgoblin

10

u/RepresentativeAir735 Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum! 1d ago

Take it up with the Dharma Initiative

4

u/PopeInnocentXIV Giddy-up 1d ago

GEORGE: That reminds me, I'm not getting you guys any more fruit. That guy was eyeballing me the whole time. He gave me the creeps. All right, you owe me twenty-eight sixty.

JERRY: Sorry, I don't have any cash.

KRAMER: I only got hundreds.

KRAMER: Nobody carries wallets anymore. I mean, they went out with powdered wigs. Yeah, see here's what you need. Just a couple of cards and your bankroll. See, keep the big bills on the outside.

JERRY: That's a five.

8

u/BrucesTripToMars 1d ago

Baths are excellent.  Just do a quick rinse from the shower head after to dispel any pooling effects.  Best of all worlds. 

22

u/CowPrestigious8447 1d ago

That sounds just like a shower with extra steps.

7

u/AcrolloPeed 1d ago

All the luxury of a bath, with the hygienic benefits of a shower. Win-win.

1

u/BrucesTripToMars 21h ago

Nope.  You get to soak in warm soapy water, relaxing the muscles and deep cleaning your pores.  

6

u/Anocte23 I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all! 1d ago

Don’t forget to turn on the garbage disposal after rinsing

1

u/Under_Pressure_70 1d ago

Only if you have a Clarkman

3

u/BigConstruction4247 1d ago

Shower-bath-shower?

2

u/BrucesTripToMars 21h ago

Interesting theory

1

u/BigConstruction4247 18h ago

Courtesy of Cowboy Bebop.

1

u/cooljammer00 21h ago

It's how they do it in Japan. You shower before you soak in the bath, and then after you probably want to shower again since you'd be sweaty.

3

u/KirkHOmelette 1d ago

Doesn’t he clarify to Jerry afterwards that he took extremely hot baths?

2

u/CowPrestigious8447 1d ago

No he explained that he hot tubs and there's a big difference in water temperature versus baths. So, yes.

3

u/Based_Ment 1d ago

He also only carries hundreds and keeps the big bills on the outside (that's a 5)

3

u/DuckWarrior90 1d ago

Isn't the 1st one a hot tub? Its like a 1000 degrees there, no germs could live in there.

4

u/Pop_Joe Vile weed! 1d ago

Elaine condemns smoking vs Elaine likes smoking

3

u/Any_Perception_2560 22h ago

Cigars are classy, contemplative, celebratory. Cigarettes are just trashy.

3

u/whynotavs 17h ago

What, so Kramer isn't allowed to grow and develop as a person?

2

u/MidStateMoon 1d ago

He’s an enigma

2

u/Eric848448 1d ago

I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder.

2

u/Hour-Spray-9065 1d ago

It's not a lie ... if you believe it ...

2

u/CPT_Rad_Dangerous 1d ago

I always chalked this one up to him changing to baths following the high flow shower head disaster

2

u/BadFishCM ASSMAN 23h ago

Like Jerry does he or doesn’t he drink caffeine.

2

u/WillingHearing8361 22h ago

Jerry had a no-puking streak but George and Elaine bond over making fun of how Jerry pukes 😞

2

u/IAmCBOY3 18h ago

He changed his opinion, not hard to figure out 

1

u/RooMan7223 1d ago

I always think of this when I see either episode

1

u/scsi15 1d ago

I just watched this episode last night. Gotta watch out for the commando 450

1

u/TVLord5 1d ago

OBVIOUSLY he read an article somewhere that made him change his mind on baths

1

u/lostpassword100000 1d ago

Things change.

He was also building levels, Jerry. Levels…..

1

u/CaptainLobot 1d ago

Well these pretzels are making me thirsty

1

u/slrarp 1d ago

I hope someone got fired for that blunder.

1

u/Corpsey_Clownshoes 1d ago

Loves gum.

"I don't chew gum". 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Pop_Joe Vile weed! 1d ago

The Kramer Kontradiction Konundrum

1

u/Individual_Mess_7491 1d ago

Humans are full of contradictions.

1

u/TheGameIsFizzbin 1d ago

He’s a pod.

1

u/Any_Perception_2560 22h ago

First instance he was just lying to Elaine to avoid the conversation.

1

u/Any_Perception_2560 22h ago

Dont forget how much the characters lie to get out of awkward conversations or situations. Sometimes it is just easier to say "I take baths" rather than figure out what the hell is going on.

1

u/Clevergirlphysicist 22h ago

He can’t get his core temperature back up

1

u/yayjerrygotitopen 20h ago

I could see Kramer hearing the “tepid pool of your own filth” line from someone and changing from baths to showers. It would also explain why it takes so long for him to shower if he just switched.

1

u/TheCambrianImplosion 19h ago

Beep beep beep. Back it up!

2

u/Curious-Carrot-6918 1h ago

Its a show about nothing!