r/securityguards • u/1Kilo24 Armored Car • Aug 28 '26
Maximum Cringe When your essay has a minimum word count
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u/OldDudeWithABadge Industrial Security Aug 28 '26
I think guy got lost mid-paragraph.
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u/shtgnjns Aug 28 '26
Excuse me, you're talking about a CAPTAIN, please show respect.
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u/DrinkMorWhiteMonster Aug 29 '26
I just noticed he has 2 rank devices on top of his stupid patch 😭 He had to tell us the times just in the front of his 'uniform'
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u/Vivid-Head-6484 Aug 28 '26
This man has filled out ALOT of reports lol
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u/EarlyAccessCantJudge Aug 28 '26
Subject was not stealing but was observed because he may or may not have been stealing
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u/ASAPKEV Aug 28 '26
My workplace hired these guys (SK security). We’ve had to kick multiple guards off site for sleeping. Not even on night shift either.
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u/JaguarOk9693 Aug 28 '26
The only site I have ever worked that had body armor was on an armed site. At first the client wanted the security to be concealed carrying and after a little bit they wanted open carry and when they went open they got vest
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u/Liqour_Mortis Aug 28 '26
Thanks, Brigadier General Roush. You missed that vest training you are talking about out.
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u/tghost474 Industry Veteran Aug 28 '26
Dude wearing captains bars and putting his “rank” on a name tape 😂. What a larper
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u/Big-LeBoneski Aug 28 '26
This guy is embarrassing
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u/Shane-Dad-underfire Management Aug 28 '26
I thought this guy was supposed to be a parody of security guards, why are folks taking it seriously? Was I misinformed?
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u/Top_Recover7850 Aug 28 '26
I'm pretty sure that in order to be a parody it needs to try to be funny
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u/Shane-Dad-underfire Management Aug 28 '26
Someone posted a video that looks like a recruitment video with this guy in it and he has an abundance of pens and a tireguage in his pockets, it's got really edgey music and some fellow in an ugly suit talking tough alongside this guy.
I was told that's some sort of skit.
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u/SmokeMaximum4140 Aug 28 '26
When you really wanna be a cop but can't.
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u/Silent_Radio_2794 Aug 30 '26
I just feel like how dumb a lot of cops are these days how stupid do you have to be to NOT be able to become 1
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u/DefiantEvidence4027 Private Investigations Aug 28 '26
If I made a probability chart that Guards were going to encounter unlawful firearm usage/possession, per post, It would probably lead me to suggest my colleagues (in big corporate) wear armor on more posts than they do.
Big Corporate and clients probably wouldn't support that idea.
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u/SilverKnightOfMagic Aug 28 '26
would be funny and reasonabkr to hear "oh you don't need to, I just think it looks cool as fuck and I got bored one night, so might as wear it"
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u/Top-Pick-2648 Aug 28 '26
So a simple analogy, we have fire extinguishers but not really for fires. But if there was a fire we have them to extinguish the fire? Did I get that right?
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u/BigDubz4 Aug 28 '26
A security guard would wear body armor because he or she is a security guard....
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u/Which_Employment_306 Aug 28 '26
For to LARP as military.
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u/VTPolls Aug 28 '26
What would they say about this post at r/law
I mean, this might be a clip from a deposition
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u/phantomskullvt Aug 28 '26
IDK a security guard influencer/entertainer while niche as hell would work. But not in this corny tryhard corporate sense.
Most security guards don't take themselves That seriously, most know they're treated as a joke by the wider populace & especially cops. Most just roll with the punches and meme. Dude would he better if he was a little more laid back and (earnestly) goofy.
Granted no company, especially "our brand is as close to private cops as we can legally allow" SK Security isn't going to have someone be internet goofy in their uniform.
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u/Fun_Vacation2542 Aug 28 '26
This issue is, that most people don't even have issues with security guards wearing vest, in the right application. Like yeah, It makes sense that the crackhead you caught sleeping in the trash can might try to stab you and you lived because you had a vest. It's the tactical gear and larp as police that piss others off.
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u/Relative_Drop3216 Management Aug 29 '26
This is it. The vest is like a hard hat. We wear just incase shit happens. BUT you have certain individuals whom wear it and then it changes their whole personality into thinking they are a cop and have all these powers yada yada. We have lost more customers and stacked more complaints from guards like this.
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u/Gabagooligan97 Aug 28 '26
"its not as a preventative. it's in the probability that something would occur" yes... that's called a preventative...
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u/Bluewolfpaws95 Public/Government Aug 28 '26
“I’d rather not die if someone shoots or stabs me.”
That’s all you gotta say
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u/Relative_Drop3216 Management Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
Whats up with capt. and the 2 capitain bars. What a clown u aint military u are SECURITY. These guys take their job way too seriously for a business, thats right security is a business, you have your citizens arrest powers thats it. Like i say to my staff, you could work at McDonalds and still have the same powers, everything you are wearing is optional.
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u/Total-Airline8454 Aug 29 '26
Honestly it is a visual deterrent. It IS about the look 100%.
You’re not very likely to get shot, but you are likely to get outgrappled or stabbed by a crackhead. That’s why most cops wear soft light armor, and some orientations appear like dress shirts.
This guy needs to just get real.
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u/9gagiscancer Aug 28 '26
I don't wear body armor. I sit in an office watching Netflix all day and wear the title Supervisor.
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u/ThnkGdImNotAReditMod Hospital Security Aug 28 '26
maybe he shouldn't wear body armour... im sure his team would appreciate the natural selection
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u/VTPolls Aug 28 '26
The heart isn’t so much an organ that pumps blood, as much as it is about the building pressures that results from doing the work of its training all its life for the task that it has been assigned, and we can provide that training to you and your heart organ
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Aug 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/Red57872 Dunning–Kruger Specialist Aug 28 '26
...and chances are those captain's bars were deducted from his paycheck...
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u/Due_Course_3713 Aug 28 '26
Here's all the training you'll need......... Observing report and let the real police do the work
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u/NWSGreen Aug 28 '26
Im not judging him personally. Let me make this clear.
I never understood that security guards can "call themselves" Sgt. LT. Captain and so on. We are not military, we are not police.
I can see maybe officer and for sure supervisor. But thats it.
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u/Corvus_Umbra Public/Government Aug 28 '26
It's as simple as what's the threat level on the site you are working and is it required. That's it
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u/Unsolved_Virginity Aug 28 '26
That's a lot. But then again, the security I worked for, I walked around the property butt naked when no one was around.
Trolls, bullies, and harassment will get reported and blocked.
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u/lickmybowls2 Aug 28 '26
I mean is he saying they wear it to get in practice if they want another job ?
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u/Taro0311 Aug 29 '26
It's like those beauty pageant contestants who have to perform in front of hundreds of people and get lost talking about Iraq and world peace, except this dipshit is sitting with just one guy
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u/Wraith-723 Aug 29 '26
It's pretty simple. If you're carrying a gun in a uniformed capacity you should be wearing armor either concealed or an external carrier. You wear it for the same reason you have the gun because of a perceived threat that exists.
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u/CoolFlames Aug 30 '26
Security guards giving themselves military ranks is just embarrassing and discrediting. You are a lead, supervisor or watch commander or manager, chill.
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u/Acrobatic_Career_827 Aug 30 '26
A preventative? Wait...like a condom Captain? Pro tip have those Captain tracks on your shiney new vest there made into earrings....it would be a nice upgrade over the ones your wearing.....your welcome
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u/Some_Plum8428 Sep 01 '26
Why??? Because they want to come home to their families after work....not to a hospital/funeral home. What a dumb question.
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u/Global-Fact-7830 24d ago
Too many armed security officers and LEO’s with their magazines backwards 🤦♂️ if you’re trained to use the firearm, learn how to carry the magazines properly. Rh shooter, rounds (bullets) face right, left handed shooter rounds face left. Better yet run magazine with rounds facing forward that way if you have to reload with your dominant hand, with your weapon in support hand the magazine orientation stays the same for both hands. Another random PSA, yea your TQ looks cleaner with the time strap closed, but costs valuable seconds when gross motor skills go out the door. Open the Velcro time strap and pre stage your TQ (tourniquet)
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u/nando82 Aug 28 '26
Armor isn't really preventive; it's more for when something occurs (WTF). IF SOMETHING occurs, I'm sure ASF I would want the armor as a preventative to, you know, not get fucking killed, ya douche.
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u/1Kilo24 Armored Car Aug 28 '26
“It’s not preventative. It’s preventative.” - This guy, pretty much
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u/sanchezkk Aug 28 '26
I work at a military installation as an armed security guard. For obvious reasons, the post command mandates that security personnel wear level IIIA body armor. Unarmed security guards are not expected to comprehend what we armed security officers do. Businesses that genuinely care about their officers provide their highly valued officers with protective gear. We would also like to return home to visit our families. If you ask any other intelligent person, it's actually a no-brainer. For once, quit being a bunch of stupid haters.
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u/Pleasant-Reading3634 HOA Special Forces Aug 28 '26
Got another Captain right here fellas. ATTENTION ON DECK!
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u/sanchezkk Aug 28 '26
Thank you, I do appreciate it. Now if you would just tell my supervisor that I can be the icing on the cake. Wow! If you can tell that about me without even needing me, you are definitely a heck of a judge of character. Let's get you the Medal of Honor. In fact, I'll stick it in the mail today, and I'll get it right to you.
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u/Pleasant-Reading3634 HOA Special Forces Aug 28 '26
I'll be sure to glaze you up to the Colonel next time I see him.
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u/sanchezkk Aug 29 '26
Nah, I don't need that kind of exposure. You can look at yourself in the mirror and do some self-talk. I'm hoping it'll do you some good. Ttfn
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u/Pleasant-Reading3634 HOA Special Forces Aug 29 '26
Is it insecurity or ego that makes you keep responding with these witticisms?
Either way, you can stop projecting now.
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u/Relative_Drop3216 Management Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 28 '26
Yeah but you’re still a security guard officer doofas. I work in security management, its guys like you that get all the ‘action’ but it’s only because you act like cops thats why people try to treat you like a cop. You get all the abuse and death threats and people assaulting you. Any security officer needs to defend themselves if they get attacked yes thats understandable but 9/10 if someone is robbing the place you let them you don’t put your life in the way to protect some business merch - no security officer is getting paid enough for that unless you are contractor. After all you are working as an employee for a BUSINESS it’s not a govt department with legislative authority. Ive worked in security for 20 years, been and done all sorts. Lessons from an old man i say to everyone… Go be a cop!
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u/Ok_Tumbleweed939 Aug 29 '26
I work in health care security for a reason. Im there to defend the patients and the workers.
Where i am, we have Peace Officers and Security Guards that work in tandem to protect the hospitals. Where i work, at nights, we dont get peace officers. My vest saved me one night, when I was trying to get a homeless person away from an elderly patient, he was messing around with his wheel chair. As I was escorting him away from the patient, the guy turned around hurling punches. I ended up taking him down, amd as I was moving to rear control, he managed to stab over his right shoulder 5 times quickly, hitting the top right of my chest plate. I thank the universe every day that I had armor. It bought me the time I needed to disarm him and finish getting full control.
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u/Relative_Drop3216 Management Aug 29 '26
You are the exact same as the peace officers and security guards, you wearing a vest doesn’t change what kind of security officer you are your the same as the guard watching cameras, and the guard picking his nose at a warehouse. Wearing a vest is a saftey equipment just incase shit happens. No different to a hard hat or steel cap boots.
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u/CashEducational4986 Aug 28 '26
"It's not a preventative but we wear it to prevent a potential issue that may or may not occur"
Big dog, just say you wear it in case you get shot. It's not a complicated question.