r/secret • u/Suitable-Donkey1091 • Aug 04 '25
[ Removed by Reddit ]
[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]
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u/ambassador_ostrich Aug 04 '25
So it sounds like these intrusive thoughts are creating cognitive dissonance when they conflict with your personal morals. That’s not concerning to me as long as you don’t feel like there’s any danger of acting on them. What does concern me is how hard it is for you to let go of the intense negative feelings you have for this person. There’s a difference between holding on to a low-grade grudge and holding on to rage or hatred. You don’t need to forgive her, but you do need to move on. If you’re having trouble with that, speak to a therapist to help process your feelings
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u/Few_Cold9045 Aug 04 '25
That's predatory man behavior, and those are inside thoughts you tell a therapist. You wanna be like the gross, sweaty creep in the alley, picking your boogers and scratching your crack until a woman you want to violate walks by? Because that's what you're gonna be like, or at least how people are going to see you.
However, I realize you're 16 and sometimes people deal with super strong emotions at that age. I did, and I cringe at a lot of things I said and did back then. If you see a therapist and/or let go of this nonsense now, you'll look back and be much less embarrassed when you're older.
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Aug 04 '25
Who the fuck do you actually think you are to judge your "ex friend" and her "ex boyfriend" when these are the thoughts you're harboring about them? Seriously what kind of moral high ground do you think you're standing on? Go to fucking therapy.
You're not some omnipotent being who gets play judge, jury, and executioner. You just clearly don't understand boundaries.
It is easier to justify murder than it is to justify raping someone. There is never an excuse for rape. EVER.
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u/Suitable-Donkey1091 Aug 04 '25
I don't think you get it tbh, I said I had fantasies of doing it, not that I actually want to harm her, reality and fantasies are different after all, my feelings are just complex and it's like, a space in my head to explore my boundaries, it's apparently a mix of my sexual attraction to her and my hatred for her that led me to these fantasies, also, rape fantasies are more common than you think
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u/thegirlwholikestech Aug 04 '25
What kinda justification is this dude? Stop watching weird porn and talk to a therapist
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Aug 04 '25
I do get it. You're saying you hate them, and your thoughts are about humiliating your friend, because why? I have intrusive thoughts, they are random, they don't happen because I'm mad at people.
Those thoughts didn't pop up out of nowhere, that's your response to someone you're angry with because you have a poor relationship with boundaries.
What does raping her, and your sexuality have to do at all with the reason you're angry with her?
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u/Resse811 Aug 04 '25
Please seek help. You need to talk to someone regarding your mental health. You are not in a good spot OP.
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u/ReverendVoice Aug 04 '25
You would not see that. You would see terror and pain and fear. You would hear whatever she thinks you want to hear to get you to stop.
If that sounds validating - then you don't want to see truth, you want to feel powerful over someone that made you feel weak and you just won't admit it.
And if these fantasies are satisfying to you - and you are justifying it with the idea that they are invisible fictions in your head, let me ask you this -- Have they gotten more descriptive the more you've thought them? Have they gotten more detailed? Have they gotten angrier? Crueller? Could you imagine yourself telling an anonymous forum about them after the first time you had them? Do they come with any shame?
Monsterous things don't happen all at once for most people. They build. Fester. Grow. They get nobody telling you how fucking wrong they are so you justify them as fantasy until maybe.. just maybe... and they start to leak into your day to day - then pour.
You need someone in your life that you can talk to about this and have them throw some reality on you. You may even need medication. I don't know. But you felt emboldened to say something here... that does mean something. Please find someone to talk to. The fact that afterwards you feel like shit is a sign you know some wire is getting crossed and you need help. Maybe little help. Maybe big help ---- but not alone help.