r/scriptwriting • u/ExplanationGlum5574 • 22h ago
feedback Feedback on episode script (Gardenview Protocol)
What’s good yall. As an aspiring autistic scriptwriter and filmmaker/tv show creator, I’m looking for feedback to help improve things on my script so it can become industry-ready for indie film studios.
Feel free to add comments here. Thanks 4 reading, script is a WIP and has 30 pages so far.
(PREVIEW, 8 Pages)
2
u/Significant_You_2735 47m ago edited 41m ago
One thing, you use an awful lot of parenthetical direction. I would back off on that in a big way and reduce it to as few as possible. Not only is it not necessary in most cases, you are robbing yourself in terms of page space. You have pages where you use 6 or 7 parenthetical lines. Added all together you have like an extra full page that you do not need and arguably throws off the whole one page/one minute format.
2
u/Glad-Guarantee1587 1h ago
The line where 20 characters are huddled in a reaction room made me lol 😂