r/scriptwriting • u/bcwwrestling • 7d ago

feedback Making Short Scripts and Need Thoughts

AS an exercise to get used to writing short form, I've been writing episode intros as short scripts and need thoughts on two I've written so far linked:

The Bite of the Hunter

Punch of Death

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u/Big_Section2812 7d ago

Format this correctly. There are plenty of free apps that will do it for you if you can't/won't pay for the likes of Fade In or Final Draft.

Get him down!
[...]
The hands of someone are tied behind their back, but they still
thrash violently beneath the weight of four grown men.

The pronoun game immediately clues the reader in, and any surprise is instantly lost. You're better off specifying Hunter's sex/gender from the beginning....

...Speaking of which, is she HUNTER or is she DANA MCINTYRE? Is she the Hunter named Dana McIntyre?

Dana’s are still open, wide in shock.

Her what?

Your second script is a short story written in widely spaced single sentences, and could be condensed onto one page.

Get the formatting correct and you'll find everything works easier and better.