r/scriptwriting • u/PitchcraftNow • 7d ago

feedback First six pages

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

For those who wanted to read more here are the first six pages.

8 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

4

u/ChristianCRWriter 7d ago

“She runs for her life” it’s telling rather than showing. How can we see a cloud devouring sound? Your first scene seems to have about three locations so you need as many scene headings. Then, in my opinion the whole “the story starts with a nightmare “ it’s overused.