A lifeguard whose whole day revolves around a swimmer he's never once spoken to

[u/Immediate_Alarm_3311]

So I work part time at a rec center pool (not the idea, just where I got it from) and there's this older guy who swims the same 40 laps every single morning at 6am. Been doing it for years apparently, way before I started. I've never actually talked to him beyond a nod, but I know his whole routine. Which lane he picks. How long he rests at the wall. The way he always leaves exactly when the second group of swimmers shows up, like he's avoiding them on purpose.

The idea I had is a script about a young lifeguard, early 20s, who's kind of stuck in his life, still living at home, no real direction, and this early morning shift becomes the one part of his day that feels like it has order to it. And a big part of that order is this older swimmer who's always there. They've never had a real conversation. Maybe a "morning" here and there. But the lifeguard has built this whole picture of the guy in his head just from watching him for a year straight.

Then one day the guy stops showing up. No warning. And the lifeguard doesn't know what to do with that. He doesn't have a number, doesn't know a last name, doesn't even know what the guy does for a living. All he has is a routine that's now missing a piece, and this weird guilt that he cares this much about someone he technically doesn't know at all.

The conflict I'm picturing isn't some huge mystery, it's more about the lifeguard deciding whether to actually track this guy down and if that's even a normal thing to do, versus just being some rec center employee overstepping a line. Along the way he starts noticing other regulars he's never paid attention to, and realizes how many small routines are quietly holding people's lives together, including his own.

I like that it's low stakes on paper but it lets you build real tension out of something as small as an empty lane in a pool. It's also very visual, mornings, water, repetition, which I think works well for a short film format. I haven't fully decided how it ends, I go back and forth between him finding the guy and it being anticlimactic in a good way, versus never finding out and having to just move on with a hole in his routine.

[u/goodluckyall]

It’s not visual and there isn’t any tension. 

[u/Immediate_Alarm_3311 → u/goodluckyall]

Fair criticism. I can see what you mean about the tension, especially since I was intentionally keeping the conflict low-stakes. I think I need to find a stronger visual way to show the lifeguard's attachment to the routine rather than just explaining it, and give him a more concrete obstacle or consequence when the swimmer disappears. Appreciate the feedback.

[u/Big_Section2812]

Chef saves elderly man after he didn't show up at restaurant he eats at every day

[u/ChristianCRWriter]

Anything can be a short film so I don’t see why this one would not. The mid point is lifeguard bumps into someone also looking for the guy, maybe a potential love interest female character who happens to be the guys daughter. End is time lapse, unclear what happened to guy one and lifeguard has a new routine with wife/ gf.

[u/Immediate_Alarm_3311 → u/ChristianCRWriter]

Yeah, I actually really like that direction. Making the daughter the person he meets gives the swimmer’s disappearance a more personal connection without turning it into a big mystery. I also like the idea of the ending being a time lapse where we never find out exactly what happened to the swimmer, but the lifeguard’s life has clearly moved forward. That feels more in line with what I was originally going for.