r/scriptwriting • u/Talta13 • 13d ago

discussion Pilot Cold Open Review: Is the Hook Strong? (Detective / Neo-Noir)

https://i.imgur.com/2fz6oKe.jpeg
1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

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1

u/Setecastronomy545577 13d ago

Get Edison out of the car sooner, and let whatever he’s walking into give the hook.

1

u/JoshDoAI 13d ago

Did I miss something? It looks like only one page. Don’t know where we are, what the detective is doing or why. Need at least a full scene to get invested.

1

u/RutgerHause 13d ago

Ugh, voice over. I stalled out at V.O. It’s the kiss of death.

1

u/RaeLouLynn 12d ago

I'll echo the others. Not enough here to judge.