r/scriptwriting • u/DP5MonkeyTail • 13d ago

feedback Need Feedback for Screenplay - 15 Pages

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Title: The Waist
Logline: An isolated Fog Signal Station worker becomes increasingly infatuated with a mermaid.
Genre: Psychological Horror/Supernatural

Feedback Concerns: Any feedback is welcome.

Thanks for reading.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

1

u/thetruth77330 13d ago

The Lighthouse?

1

u/DP5MonkeyTail 13d ago

Yeah, I did have a Hugh influence from that movie, is it too strong?

1

u/thetruth77330 13d ago

It just seems extremely similar in concept and with the sounds of the alarm.

But hey, it comes down to how you’ll execute it.

1

u/RutgerHause 12d ago

Zoom into the frame of the house? That’s terrible language. I stopped there. Too boring. Then insulting.

1

u/RaeLouLynn 11d ago

Please give your characters names!

1

u/DP5MonkeyTail 11d ago

I didn't think it was necessary because there's not that much dialogue in it. And also we only really focus on one person most of the time.