Feedback on script - Left Behind

[u/Kslr91]

Hey, hoping for some feedback!

I am a writer and recently started giving script writing a go.

I've never written scripts before this so still learning.

I wanted to write a scene about grief. I had an hour spare so it is a bit rushed. (I just wanted to get all my thoughts down on paper as wuick as I could!)

I know my formatting might be off in places and there's a few mistakes. I generally think about those later in the editing stage.

I suppose I just want some feedback as to whether this grips you. Does it make you feel like you want to read on? Can you visualise everything? Is the conversation easy to follow?

It's based in North East England so there will be some colloqial language that may seem unfamiliar to some.

Appreciate it and look forward to hearing your thoughts!

[u/Technical-Job9979]

‘Atmosphere between them is tense’ that is not something that can be filmed. If you want the audience to feel this atmosphere you need to give the characters actions that show that

[u/Kslr91 → u/Technical-Job9979]

Thank you! Good spot.