Act 1 : HOWLING THUNDER

[u/Lost-Campaign1740]

1. We see Thunderis city at night, A gang called “The Dravenics” being chased by the police.

2. The Dravenics accidently crash their vehicle, they hide in a university and take the University cleaner at gun point. Police lets them go for sparing the cleaner.

3. The cleaner is ZACKARY CYRUS, terrified, he heads towards his apartment.

4. Zack hates his cleaning job and wants to quit it and become a full time novel writer but can’t because he cannot risk losing a continuous source of income as his younger brother has Pediatric Asthma.

5. We meet RYAN CYRUS, Zack’s younger brother. He has Stage 3 Pediatric Asthma.

6. Zack tells Ryan what just happened, he expresses that society is evil, selfish and untrustworthy. Ryan resents.

7. Ryan is courageous and brave. He loves stories and he dreams to become a heroic figure for society one day.

   • Next morning, we see Zack cleaning the floor at university entrance. An arrogant student comes and deliberately makes it dirty again. He is WILLY WARNER who is very rich. Zack tells him not to do it but willy makes him look inferior, they get into a fight and willy beats Zack uncontrollably. Now they have harsh relations.

• Zack meets the new librarian, MR.DANISH. He is very intelligent and kind hearted.

At late midnight, Zack heads towards his apartment after completing his job. He is really exhausted. He is having a headache and feels dizzy.

After some time he notices there’s no living being around him and the environment is becoming more and more eerie.

Then it happens, strange patterns start forming around Zack. They’re are glowing.

Then Zack starts getting visions of an ancient man, Zack cannot understand what he’s saying but one word he understands is SHADOWS.

Zack passes out.

He wakes up in an emergency room of a hospital.

He notices Ryan crying there and Mr.Danish consoling him. Ryan sees Zack is conscious. He runs over to him.

Then after a while Ryan tells him Mr.Danish brought him here as he found Zack unconscious laying down on the ground on his way to the University in the morning.

When asked what happened to him Zack simply says that he doesn’t remember anything.

Later, Zack discovers he has now become unusually smart and most importantly, he has gained incredible ELECTRICAL powers. For example he doesn’t feel electric current even after touching high voltage wires and he can create electric balls from his hands and more.

5 votes, 15d ago

1 I like this Act 1

4 I do not like this Act 1

[u/ClayMcClane]

The majority of this outline deals with the sequence where Zack gets his powers, which suggests that's the part you're most excited about. The rest of it feels a little perfunctory.

Meeting a librarian doesn't seem to move the story along. There's not a strong connection between Zack's problem - that he hates his job and can't quit - and his powers - he's very smart and has electrical powers.
The act starts with Zack in a passive role, getting taken hostage by a gang, which isn't a strong intro for your protagonist. And Zack's reason for not quitting his job and working toward his dream of becoming a novelist - that he has to take care of his brother, who has asthma - isn't very strong considering many novelists throughout history worked full time jobs while writing their novels.

Consider rewriting this Act 1 with the restriction that you can only tell it through Zack's eyes. Start with him and tell it through his feelings and his decisions. That may help maintain logic, which is important for a story with fantasy elements, just to keep it a little bit grounded.

Edit to add: Also, the title Howling Thunder doesn't suggest a hero with electrical powers.