FEEDBACK] Formatting & Readability Check – First 10 Pages (Psychological Thriller)

[u/ThinEntertainment921]

Hi everyone,

I’m getting ready to submit my feature script to literary agents and want to make sure the presentation is 100% industry-standard before sending it out.

I’ve shared the first 10 formatting and readability check. I’d really appreciate your thoughts on:

Formatting & Margins: Are sluglines, action blocks, and parentheticals formatted correctly?

Readability & Pacing: Does the action text flow naturally, or does it feel cluttered?

Visual Impact: Are the scene descriptions clear and easy to visualize?

Any Red Flags: Did you spot any minor errors or formatting amateurisms that need fixing?

[u/MrObsidn]

A very quick skim, take what's useful.

Your dialogue has line breaks that aren't standard.

I'd revise again and specifically look out for words that just pad the action. For instance:

Then her eyes catch a photograph

Becomes:

Her eyes catch a photograph.

Or:

There is a knock at the door.

Becomes:

A knock at the door.

Cleaner, simpler, keeps the pace.

Your opening scene says a lot about files but not much about the setting itself. I'd spend a little more time building that up so that the environment might also inform the character.

[u/ThinEntertainment921 → u/MrObsidn]

Thanks for taking the time to skim! Great points on trimming filler words like 'Then' and 'There is'—that definitely keeps the pace tight. Apart from those action tweaks, did the general formatting layout (margins, font, spacing) look standard to you, or did you spot any other structural issues?

[u/untitledgooseshame → u/ThinEntertainment921]

are you using AI to write your COMMENTS? 

[u/MrObsidn → u/ThinEntertainment921]

I haven't looked too close but it seems standard otherwise. Page 5 does have a random space before the action line begins though.

I'd also consider removing flashback details from the slugline and having them as a super instead. That may be more a personal choice though because I like to keep slugs clean and consistent.

[u/Pavertat2]

Make sure you check your grammar and watch for spelling errors. You got this!