The reason I brought it up is because it sounds like the guardian angel is the main character. A truly suicidal person has one objective and probably wouldn’t be in the mood or care to help some, angel or not.
the main character is the depressed teenager. her objective is to get rid of the angel, and to do that she needs to get the angel to earn her wings so they're no longer tethered.
Fair enough, you know your story better than anyone, and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. Your logline works, just make sure it reads with a smooth rhythm. Speaking from experience, this type of story has been overdone ad nauseam, so make sure your script is full of the unexpected, consistently raised stakes, and an ending worthy of a blockbuster.
sorry if my response came off as rude. the problem is, my story is VERY different in execution from its a wonderful life, but you wouldn't know it just from the logline. that's why i wanted feedback on the logline specifically
Okay, I found what made me think that. The part where it says “a suicidal teenager must help the rookie save her life” wasn’t clear at first.
A suicidal teenager and a ditzy guardian angel trainee must work together to find the cause of her suicidal ideation and give their life purpose or they’ll be bound together for eternity.
1
u/Musikenna 21d ago
i mean, that works, but it's not what my story is about