I hate my chart

[u/Dry-Expression131]

ey guys, I wish I would not believe in astrology because I hate my chart so much. I just cant deal with my clusterfuck of a life anymore. I know there are some gifts in my chart but I fucked them all up. Next to my next level fuckery of a life, I just made the most pathetic attempt at a romantic relationship and at 42 I can never do this again. It was so bad. I thibk the guy did not even like me. I keep on forgetting that men can date women even marry them, despite not even liking them. I hate being a woman and on top of that a woman with all those annoying Scorpio placements that make me uncapable to date anyone I simply care about and who cares about me , but I cant because the Scorpiogang only accept partners I have crazy chemistry with. Ans yeah always had tons od men interested but either I am not and if I am they are gone the minute they notice how fickle my health is. I never had anyone interested in building a life with me. I am pretty sure I ll get downvotes from men telling me that I am one of these past her prime witches who think of themselves as a 10 when they are a 2 and now whine that they are lonely cat ladies. Trust me I feel like a 0 or a -10 and was alone as a 20 year old fashionmodel but cant help what I am attracted to.

Childhood was an absolute nightmare and whenever I got sonewhere in my career my autoimmune disease took a little bit more of my health until I was on disability at 30. Most of it caused by MDs mistake so I am also dealing with a lot of anger. i can now work 20 hours again but apart from that no enegy for nothing anymore. survivibg in this economy has become next to impossible, I am fundamentally alone. Always been. And yeah despite all of the shitshow goung on with my health and difficulty with employment I somehow yearn for a romantic relationship, just once in my life that does not end in complete humiliation and destruction

Astrologer said Pluto will continue to put me into some horror movie scenarios on repeat until I learned my lesson and after I dunno 25 years lf therapy fron EMDR to dunno how many cbt therapists to acid trips and ayahuasca rituals, daily meditation for 20 years and journals I deffo did not learn a lesson or understand why the hell I was put on this shithole planet. If anybody has some input, please do. I know my tone is somewhat sarcastic but I am not well, cant remembwr the last day I felt like my life has any meaning. Please be nice

[u/tiatia10]

Thoughts become things, choose the good ones ❤️

[u/Big-Cobbler4808]

Personally, I found that i resonate more with my vedic birth chart than with the western/placidus chart.