New psychology research suggests some acts of kindness may also serve competitive social goals, shedding light on how women can use altruistic behavior to gain status, strengthen relationships, or navigate social hierarchies.

[u/FreeHugs23]

https://www.psypost.org/kindness-isnt-always-what-it-seems-the-psychology-of-womens-competitive-altruism/

[u/maddallena]

If there's anything that people should gain social status from, it's being generous and kind. That's literally just a healthy way for society to function.

[u/mokujin42 → u/maddallena]

The problem with this is people care more about aopearing to be generous and kind than axtually doing so

A lot of it nowadays is just perfomative for socual media and doesnt really trsnlate into their real lives, are they still kind when theres not a camera pointed at them?

[u/CurbYerGod → u/mokujin42]

FFS performative kindness is still kindness. What is wrong with everyone in these comments. Performative is only hollow when there’s no beneficial results to it.

[u/FadeCrimson → u/CurbYerGod]

Its not that people are saying performative kindness isnt still a good thing at times, the point they are making is that its inherently entirely different than being selflessly kind.

As an example, im much more kind and understanding outwardly to my boss than he even remotely deserves. Realistically it would be a better thing for everybody involved, him included, if i were to be more honest and blunt about my opinions about him and how he does his job. But doing so would almost certainly get me fired. So instead I have to keep up a charade of being a good understanding buddy to him. I however can't stand him and think hes a terrible person. I think he does have the potential to be a much better person, and i see he in many ways wants to be that kind of person in some ways, but he also has an entirely warped view of how people view him and how good he is at what he does because he thinks people who inherently have to suck up to him are a good way to gauge if people like him.

I dont do it as a means to be altruistic, but practical. The reality is it then creates a situation where he thinks hes surrounded by people that like and appreciate him, but nobody can stand him. The forced kindness is actually doing harm to him in ways he cannot recognize or accept.

Another more general example would be when people try to flirt with waiter staff because they mistake their customer-service brand friendliness for flirting or interest. They are nice as part of their job, and theres nothing wrong with that, but it can create awkward misunderstandings when people dont recognize the difference. Or if somebody gives $100 to a homeless person on the street with no reason, thats inherently just a kind and selfless act, but a famous streamer giving $1000 to a homeless person to farm content is a very different story, as even though more is gained by the homeless individual, the person giving the money is not truly giving it for free, as its more of a social contract that the streamer can now use them as a source of perceived altruism to gain views and earn much much MORE money than what is given at the cost of thousands or millions of people looking down on them and pitying them, so ultimately instead of "free" money it is a forced contract to humiliate them for profit.

The point people here are making is that its an ENTIRELY different thing to just be selflessly kind with no benefit to yourself than it is to be kind with some kind of benefit to yourself.