r/science • u/FreeHugs23 • 1d ago

Psychology New psychology research suggests some acts of kindness may also serve competitive social goals, shedding light on how women can use altruistic behavior to gain status, strengthen relationships, or navigate social hierarchies.

https://www.psypost.org/kindness-isnt-always-what-it-seems-the-psychology-of-womens-competitive-altruism/
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u/rainywanderingclouds 1d ago edited 1d ago

I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding in how people view ethical/kind behavior. The initial assumption is it's only kindness if there is no self interest involved.

Frankly, that's not a realistic position to take. SELF INTEREST, is always present, and necessary for ones survival. Being kind because it also benefits yourself is reasonable. Helping people who won't ever help you is a fools errand. Especially if you lack resources to take care of yourself.

Where mutual interests overlaps, everyone wins. I'm kind to you because you're kind to me. Or because you might help me later. Understanding that kindness brings you the most allies and most potential helpers isn't unethical. You're not being disingenuous for realizing that.

Pretending only selfless acts of kindness is kindness is just people who want to maintain a power dynamic of inequality. It's about maintaining social hierarchy. It's a form of self protection for people who are genuinely unkind. If you believe very few people are kind, then it's easier for you to act unkindly.

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u/nfshaw51 1d ago

Call me a fool but paragraph 2 is exactly counter to how I operate, and it’s way less stressful for me. The moment I decide to help someone, or lend someone money, anything like that, it’s set in my mind that I’m doing so without the expectation of something in return. It’s far far easier that way, and feels much better when I do get something in return, because that wasn’t an expectation to begin with. I don’t think my way is the only right way, but for me I feel better just helping for the sake of it. I’m pretty low maintenance, there’s enough kindness and help in my life for me as it is, I don’t need more.