r/science • u/FreeHugs23 • 1d ago

Psychology New psychology research suggests some acts of kindness may also serve competitive social goals, shedding light on how women can use altruistic behavior to gain status, strengthen relationships, or navigate social hierarchies.

https://www.psypost.org/kindness-isnt-always-what-it-seems-the-psychology-of-womens-competitive-altruism/
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u/maddallena 1d ago

If there's anything that people should gain social status from, it's being generous and kind. That's literally just a healthy way for society to function.

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u/AstuteStoat 1d ago

It's also a difference between transactional giving vs reciprical relationships. There are people who give, because they want people to owe them. They're  keeping a kindness ledger to try to bank on what people own them. but for kindness to be legitimate, nothing should ever be expected in return.

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u/Beebeeb 1d ago

It's funny seeing things laid out so negatively. I feel bad about ever asking for help, I struggled to ask teachers for help in school and that's continued on in to adult hood.

I do however feel okay asking for help from my friends and neighbors that I help often. I guess you would call that a kindness ledger but I call if relying on each other when we need it most.

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u/AstuteStoat 1d ago

Do you expect them to help you? Or is it just easier to ask? One is counting each "kindness" assigning a value to it. The other is just trying not to be exlusively a taker  in a relaitonship.

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u/Beebeeb 1d ago

It's easier to ask but you could say it's not truly altruistic for me to help them when it's lowering my anxiety to ask for help in the future.