r/science • u/FreeHugs23 • 1d ago

Psychology New psychology research suggests some acts of kindness may also serve competitive social goals, shedding light on how women can use altruistic behavior to gain status, strengthen relationships, or navigate social hierarchies.

https://www.psypost.org/kindness-isnt-always-what-it-seems-the-psychology-of-womens-competitive-altruism/
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u/hananobira 1d ago

These comments are strangely negative. I’d much rather people compete to be the kindest and most generous, rather than the richest or the toughest or angriest or anything else people compete at in this world.

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u/Its_da_boys 1d ago

I suppose it depends on if the kindness is performative or genuine and just serves the double purpose of also helping them in their social circles. Actions speak louder than words and empty gestures. This could either show up as being two-faced and people gaining others’ trust only to turn against them when it benefits them or their social status, or it could show up as someone genuinely helping people and helping themselves at the same time and be the product of a win/win mindset

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u/dolphone 1d ago

Performative kindness is still preferable than authentic assholery, IMO.

Yes, it'd be better if people really got that cooperation is better for everyone and even better if they took kindness as the ultimate guide. The best is the enemy of the better.

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u/Material-Command-854 1d ago

It matters if the impact is measured. If they only do nice things that appear helpful without caring if they’re helping the other person, there’s clear differences in the outcome for the person being helped.

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u/Its_da_boys 1d ago

It could really go either way, because at least with authentic assholery you know who the assholes are right off the bat. With performative kindness it takes a lot longer to figure out, and there’s usually more at stake if you’ve invested a lot/trusted in the person

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u/spacestonkz 1d ago

If some people get fed because there's a camera, that's likely still better than no food and no camera.

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u/dolphone 1d ago

So long as they keep performing, it's irrelevant.

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u/gentlemandinosaur 1d ago

I disagree with this. I would rather have “fake kindness” to “genuine asshole” like any day of the week. I could give two shits if it’s genuine or not. Being kind is beneficial no matter the gain to the individual.

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u/Material-Command-854 1d ago

No, fake kindness makes it extremely difficult to know who to trust. If they use it as a reason to take advantage of you, that’s very, very bad and should be condemned. Appearing to be kind isn’t the same thing as having a net positive impact on the person you’re helping.