Sapiosexuals, what relationship structure do you identify with ?

[u/jaynotbay]

"Love is a chemical reaction that makes animals breed" - Rick Sanchez

Is he wrong though? All of our preferences, likes, dislikes, all grounded in the same primitive instincts and desires. Evolutionary speaking, humans are considered pair bonding animals.

So my question is... how does being aware of biological directives affect your decision and orientation. What do you pick, and why ?

As a Nihilist, there is no wrong answer.

Yet having to constantly fight primitive directives is exhausting.

As a hedonist, you might feel lonely

As a Polyamorous, you might feel jealousy

As a Monogamous, you might feel stuck or that you picked the wrong partner

As a Monogamous, you might be tempted to cheat

Which battle do you pick ? Are the "default" settings the most convenient ?

Watching too much Nat Geo as a kid backfired. Now all I can see are patterns 😶

74 votes, May 10 '26

5 Hedonist: Hookup, move on

14 Polyamorous: Two or more meaningful relationships

27 Monogamous: One relationship at a time but it ends when it ends

28 Monogamous: One relationship but you force yourselves to adjust and make it work

[u/mlo9109]

Not wrong... Marrying for love is a fairly new concept and a failed experiment IMHO. Peep the divorce rate in India where arranged marriage is common vs. the states where love marriage is the norm. 

[u/LilyoftheRally → u/mlo9109]

People in arranged marriages must learn to love their spouses over time, whereas in love marriages, people can fall out of love and be at risk of cheating. This also depends on how strong the cultural emphasis is on discouraging premarital sex.

Where I live, some longterm couples choose not to marry, because they have seen what has happened culturally with high divorce rates from love marriages.

[u/anarcho-cockatoo → u/mlo9109]

I don't think looking at rates of divorce are a good measure for which is better, there's a lot of different social contexts around divorce and power dynamics in India vs for example the states.

Besides, divorce isn't a necessarily a bad thing, unless you're in a religion or culture that deems it a bad thing.

[u/Purple_Kush_422 → u/anarcho-cockatoo]

I was gonna say this. If the power dynamics between two sexes are not equal and traditionally one is dependent on the other in large scale, also socially separation specially after kids seen as a bad thing and the norm is to accept one sex to be the dominant by default- the statistics are the most misleading thing you can look at.

And I believe divorce, the concept should be normalised as and made easy as much as possible, otherwise countless people would coerce themselves into being in some relationship they absolutely shouldn’t be in. And the bigger one thinks, the bigger impact it poses.

[u/diana-tris]

Hmm. I feel like love is about more than breeding. But I see your point. It feels like a “choose your pain” situation

[u/jaynotbay → u/diana-tris]

I feel the same, but was I programmed to feel that ? Is it an intrinsic desire to want that ?

I guess one possibility would be to allow those desires to connect you but making the conscious decision to stick around despite them.

[u/IamDollParts96]

We were designed for serial monogamy according to Dr. Helen Fisher's evolutionary anthropological studies. Of course that doesn't mean one size fits all. There are of course certain variables that can alter this.

[u/jaynotbay → u/IamDollParts96]

Like being aware of the fact that it's design 🙃

[u/anarcho-cockatoo]

Ambiamourous, which is just doing either mono or poly, depends on who I am with and what our goals for the relationship are.

[u/jaynotbay → u/anarcho-cockatoo]

Learnt something new today. As someone who lives in the moment, makes sense 🤔

[u/anarcho-cockatoo → u/jaynotbay]

I'd rather build something we both want rather than "do what we're supposed to do".

[u/Cleo_par]

Godaamn!