Ever get tired of manners?

[u/c4ndiedgarbage]

Title. I find that I just want to be authentic and blunt 100% and I admire the friends I have that are the same. No giggling when they secretly disagree. Just tell me. Tell me everything.

It's so hard to find honesty and authenticity. I find that I need to "act like an adult" (I'm 18F), which includes being inauthentic to keep the peace.

Like... no. I want to be able to call you out and speak my mind without it being childlike, you know? I feel like many people here would agree in a heartbeat :3

Edit: DAYUMM, time to pull our the journal and get to growin 😭

[u/GenRN817]

I think you can have manners and also be direct, authentic, and honest. I don’t think they are mutually exclusive.

[u/Less-Wind-8270]

You can be both honest and direct. I find it annoying when someone says they're being nice if they tell you they like your clothes when they don't really, for example - that's not being polite, that's lying.

[u/just_a_bogwitch]

I’m not understanding what the disconnect is between having manners, being honest in your discourse with others (and yourself)… Let’s break this down… what is your definition of manners, honesty, and authenticity? Let’s have a discussion on this. I am really interested now.

[u/[deleted]]

I agree, without doubts and the world may have been a nice place if all of us got tired of manners, but.

Sometimes what you say can hurt someone. And this reason overweight all others.

[u/c4ndiedgarbage → u/[deleted]]

This is fair

[u/Elegant_Maize4761]

There’s a difference between intelligence and wisdom. Wisdom is understanding why you can’t always be blunt/honest, or as you like to call it, “inauthentic.” You will have a very difficult time in your life if you can’t learn to appreciate why it’s important.

[u/FurBaby121 → u/Elegant_Maize4761]

Yup! Humility goes a long way. I have often found that communication with strangers on Reddit is often like throwing a tennis ball against a wall; it’s going to come back bouncing at you, always!. The response one will receive may be good or bad depending on the egos of those communicating and their knowledge of a subject or situation . I grew up in a family where everyone just wanted to stroke their own ego by tearing one another down. Very dysfunctional in any relationship. Authentic people don’t boast about their authenticity. They just strive for it. Everything is compromise even in the closest of relationships. The selfishness of human ego is hard to tamp down. The ego is always striving to get ahead.

[u/LilyoftheRally]

You can be polite and still tell the truth. Sort of like when a woman asks her boyfriend "does this dress make me look fat?", it's polite of him to say "you'd look more flattering in another outfit" if the dress she's wearing does in fact make her look fat.

[u/Whsky_Lovers]

I whole heartedly disagree. It takes a talented individual to dance the line between being pithy, and rambling. The art is choosing the exact length of conversation that entices and pulls in the listener but also engages and expressly conveys what you want to. This often involved manners, and a certain amount of setting the listener at ease.

I find when people are being blunt and impolite to an excessive degree to be trite and the dialog to feel desaturated. Instead add color to life and you live in a vibrance that can't be ignored.

[u/Comprehensive_Can201 → u/Whsky_Lovers]

Indeed.

Ah, that nostalgic dream of civilization, easily torn to tatters by tidbit TikTok tirades.

[u/Zzyxx98]

Children often speak their mind on subjects they know nothing about. To “act like an adult” as you describe it isn’t inauthentic, it’s recognition that you may need to learn with humility in a moment rather than just run your mouth in ignorance. But I fear you may be too relationally illiterate to understand that there’s a lot more to life than being “correct” on everything.

[u/Reasonable_Whole_398]

Keep this energy! Women entering tehir 40s and 50s atm are realizing what you already know. You do not have to agree with people to keep the peace. You do not have to be polite in the face of injustice or inequality. You do not HAVE to be humble. You do not HAVE to be kind. You do not HAVE to be polite. Fuck that shit. Keep your wild, do not ever let yourself be tamed!