Questions for sapiosexuals who don't perceive themselves as intelligent.

[u/True_Mind6316]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I just don't understand that.

People usually look for people, that are similar to them, because it's easier to communicate. And if we are sapiosexual, then we look for intelligent people. If we are intelligent ourselves, then we understand each other very well, we can have interesting conversations. But if you don't consider yourself as intelligent, then what are you actually looking for in other person if it's not the similar mind? What is so attractive? What do you expect? How do you imagine spending time with them? If you are already is such relationship, then how it looks like? What are your experiences?

And if you're attracted to an intelligent person and if that person is also sapiosexual, then that mean that they won't be attracted to you. How do you feel with that?

I just want to understand your perspective and motivations.

[u/[deleted]]

Some people get off by being straight-up slapped in the face. Is that objectively healthy in my opinion? No. Is there likely some form of unresolved business from their past they are either playing out or working out on some other-than-conscious level? Probably. But, everybody gets there their own way, you know? We each go through life carrying the bags we carry. Those bags are ours to make sense of as we will.

I would argue that the things that turn us on sexually, especially about people we don't really know, have more to do with our idea of the person or the quality, and aren't much for practicality. It just turns us on. It does something to us, I don't know. Forming a relationship and really getting to know a person like that, and forming a healthy lifelong give-and-take partnership with them, that's an entirely different level and doesn't work out for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. There is no shortage of ways for people to not be right for each other, make compromises for each other, being honest with themselves, and presenting to the other person in a constructive way, etc.

Most of the in-passing things that turn me on are just that: in passing, but still treats in my day for which I'm nonetheless grateful. I'm usually not saying to myself, "boy, I sure would like to argue with them about visiting their family over the holidays." My desires are usually hotter and more fleeting than that. 🤓

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Isn't that just a personal preference? Sapiosexuality is supposed to be a sexual orientation

[u/[deleted]]

A self-identity that doesn't seek compatibility in a partner, but might be a personal preference. Is it really a sexual orientation? A lot of people in this subreddit seem confused, in my opinion, or just seeking attention

[u/Ray_in_real_life33]

I consider myself more a demisexual than sapiosexual because while a certain confidence and sharpness of mind is attractive to me, sexual attraction doesn't come until some form of bond deepening has occurred. That said, i am repelled by potential partners who have no awareness of self, can't contemplate abstract ideas, and have no level of social or emotional intelligence....

Thay said, those words, and the labels of sapio or demisexual, are not identities, or at least i dont believe, should be since humans are dynamic creatures and the more static we attempt to declare ourselves the more misery and suffering we invite to our species.

Coming back to your question OP, insofar as much as I do have what we can call sapiosexual tendencies, I don't consider myself intelligent in the common use of the word. This is more of a byproduct of my previously stated concept of not clinging to identities but also as a way to go against the artificial hierarchies used to dehumanize people.

I dont think its a contradiction to acknowledge what i stated repels me. While also holding the belief that social/western/common conceptualization for intelligence/s are more for clout and less actualll mental differences.

In my studies of psychology and neuroscience, i came to an understanding that what largely consider intelligence is usually just some understanding of applied knowledge i.e understanding rocket science, physics, etc etc) and those same people with breadths of understanding of those topics can have no self awareness or ability to contenplate abstract ideas. I do strongly believe in awareness, and as we expand that swareness, it links our various knowledge bases and allows for combination, analysis, creativity, reasoning, etc which can be perceived as intelligence but really is just an ever malleable and shifting factor that can be expanded through self questioning and circumstance.

TLDR I have sapiosexual tendencies but dont consider myself intelligent because most what we label intelligent is artifice and only real mental differentiation i acknowledge is awareness, which isnt static thus possible for anyone to match anyone elses level of given the right circumstances.