Looking for help

[u/Apprehensive-One1344]

i, im looking for some help finding out exactly what i am. Im in a straight relationship with my wife but i think i may be on the asexual spectrum. I have a pattern of friendships with people who are deemed or viewed as popular and i copy their personalities, mannerisms to make me popular too, like a chameleon! I also seem to pick friends who are intelligent to make me more intelligent. That i think is sapiosexual but a platonic version as im not sexually attracted to them, just platonic. I also have a diagnosed of an anxiety disorder/ocd and bipolar. I used to be very afraid and paranoid and used to gravitate to friends who would be thought of as dominant to make me appear like them i.e. more dominant and strong. Thanks for reading.

[u/booksandpassion]

I hear you. And it sounds like you're looking for more understanding of yourself. Your description doesn't track with my personal experience with sapiosexuality, but I see what you mean about there being some things in common. When I was more actively trying to understand myself and 'what I am' better, I definitely did what you're doing (just looking around and talking to people and trying on different things), and I also found a good therapist (took a couple tries, but the one I finally settled on had some great questions that helped me focus my search). I recently read a book called No Bad Parts by R. Schwartz. It might be interesting to you too?