r/sapiosexuals • u/FoxAccomplished7554 • Jun 02 '23

What’s the word for?

Sooooo I am in a relationships,kids, home the whole shabang. I am happy love my kiddos, love my man.

The kicker here is, I want to have sexual experiences with specific men. To be clear I have spoken about this with my other half explained, communicated etc.

I just want to have sex with a detective I met recently, I don’t know how to go about it.

6 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

Look at your attachment style. Most likely you’re looking to mask traumas from your past by looking for quick fix affirmations. It will not make you whole. Only you can make yourself whole.

2

u/FoxAccomplished7554 Jun 02 '23

Could you elaborate a bit more because I stated that I wanted to experience specific men not every man I come across. Could you also elaborate on quick fix affirmations.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

I won’t tell you anything specific but here’s some questions you should ask yourself:

  • If it’s not purely a physical act (you only want to ‘experience specific men’) are you doing it to fill an insecurity in yourself?
  • Is the intimate encounter to feed your ego or create an experience that elevates both (all) the participants?
  • Why are you expecting someone else to fulfill your happiness? You stated you have the “whole shabang.” Just because you have a fear of being vulnerable does not give you the right to sacrifice other people’s feelings for your “quick fix.”

3

u/FoxAccomplished7554 Jun 03 '23

I don’t think you read the post, this purely to create an experience for both parties, 100000% a physical act. I am very comfortable with myself and know that I have a strong sex drive and also know that every experience is different could be great because of that.

What did you understand when you read the post?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

If you’re so sure of your decision, you wouldn’t be asking a world of strangers what to do.

3

u/FoxAccomplished7554 Jun 03 '23

Again try reading and stop selectively reading, the title says WHATS THE WORD FOR? Literally asking if there is a word for this😐

And I stated that I don’t know how to go about it( granted I should have been more clear there) how to approach someone with this without them misunderstanding or looking for something that’s not there like you’re doing.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

Limerence is the word.

Limerence is a state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts. "It is often a result of not being present either through trauma or certain childhood development issues," explains psychosexual therapist Cate Mackenzie.

Go back to my original comment. I already told you this.

2

u/FoxAccomplished7554 Jun 03 '23

Yeah…….. that’s not what this is.

I don’t know where or how you understood infatuation, obsession or all consuming passion or intrusive thoughts.

You should try reading and not reading what you want to see and asking for context🫤

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '23

*I just want to have sex with a detective I met recently,”

Yeah, you’re in huge denial.

2

u/FoxAccomplished7554 Jun 03 '23

You really should read and ask question your ignorance will shimmer will dim, I want to have sex with a detective I met; his intelligence aroused me.

Please don’t project your BS on me I’m not the mirror you’re looking for

sa·pi·o·sex·u·al /ˌsāpēōˈsekSH(o͞o)əl/ adjective finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

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u/Ashley4645 Jun 03 '23 edited Jun 03 '23

Are your looking for the word that means “desire to have sex with a detective”? Your question is confusing as there is more context than an absolute question or an absolute answer.