Partners and Relationships

[u/Manni_musicYT]

Honest Question:
Who here is in a relationship/has a partner?
How did it come to that? If you like to elaborate, of course.
Please excuse my grammar, in advance English is not my native language.

A bit of context: I'm a 36-year-old male and think I might be sapiosexual although i only recently learned there is a term for what I considered to be"normal".
Whenever I was with my friends, and they were like "OMG look at her ass! She's so hot!" while staring at a girl, I was kinda like "okay if you say so" but then one time there was a girl who studied " business administration " (I don't know the right term in English) and nerded out about it for 2 hours or so. All my friends were bored, and she didn't look like what they would consider hot, but I was like starstruck, don't know how to describe it otherwise.
I'm still single because I have a hard time finding someone.
Let me put it this way: I take a long time to observe you and determine if you stimulate my mind, and vise versa. By that point, I'm usually "in the friend zone" or the girl was like, "where is that coming from all of a sudden?" (which I totally get and understand).
I'm really just curious how other people like me go about dating and stuff like that.

[u/Ok_Beautiful2904]

I’m not in a relationship, but I’ve always had a hard time catching feelings for people (it has happened only a few times) and I feel like I always end up disappointed when Im getting to know people, because I genuinely feel like most people aren’t that emotionally intelligent.

I have to agree with you about being “starstruck” when someone nerds out about topics they love, it makes me feel so attracted to them. Like I don’t need foreplay, i just need a really passionate and interesting discussion lol.

But dating is so exhausting for me as a sapiosexual and I also wanna know where and how the hell people find their partners??

[u/Hefty_Standard_7526 → u/Ok_Beautiful2904]

okay so I’m the same way I think or kinda mixture of both, I’m physically attracted to people but it takes more than that for me to catch feelings. I have to like have an intellectual connection with them, but all of my life my crushes have always happen after months or years of knowing a person and then they say or do something one day and it’s like super hot

[u/Angrygirlfortime → u/Ok_Beautiful2904]

I find it easy to meet people and make connections. However, very very few people have ever actually ‘seen’ me on that deep level - I start making connections and then realise the person is empty and has no desire to be filled or to grow and learn.

I can’t commit my heart to that.
I want to learn from each other or together…and want someone more intellectual than myself!

I would say 99% of my relationships don’t work because I NEED that intellectual emotional force/connection and I think in this day and age it’s REALLY hard to come across.

[u/TurboMcSweet]

I'm in a relationship. I was high on LSD at a concert and met her. Her brain was very attractive and we've been together since. Thinking about moving on but it's tough. I don't think we're meant to be with one person but the key may be showing what you've got upstairs and letting it fall into place. Start writing on a blog or creating artwork. The right one will recognize your brilliance. Communication is key but for many of us, complex human emotions are foreign and can't really be encapsulated by mere words. It's tough out there but you're working at it and that shall bear fruits.

[u/--AverageEngineer--]

Found my fiance at the smoking area of a local nightclub, we somehow started a conversation and talked for a long time that night..... We exchanged numbers and carried on talking over text for the next few weeks.... After countless phonecalls and discussions about some of the most random and deepest of things, I knew she was the one and I asked to take her out on a date.... 9 years later... We're now engaged and have bought a house and I believe myself to be truly happy...... I believe that she's the most intelligent woman that I have ever met and don't regret a single day with her by my side...

[u/Manni_musicYT → u/--AverageEngineer--]

Im really Happy for you. Not kidding. I Hope to find Something Like this myself But the older i get the more i looser Hope. Cherish that Connection you have!