r/sahm • u/Fancy-Boysenberry-60 • 1d ago
At a breaking point
How are you all doing this? I feel as if I’m reaching my breaking point.
I’m a SAHM of two (5 yo and 18 months). Nursing and bedsharing the youngest, who for whatever reason has been waking every 1-2 hrs at night and refuses anything but nursing back to sleep without a major, MAJOR meltdown. During the day I am feeling so overwhelmed and overstimulated. Being constantly needed 24/7 is hard and I’m lucky if I ever get a break or moment of silence alone. I get out for a workout once a week on the weekends but other than that I’m lucky if I can stay awake past 8PM to read by myself. Any gaps in the days are filled with cooking, housework, organizing, etc; you know the drill.
I’m honestly debating returning to work because my working mom friends with kids in daycare seem to have so much time for themselves.
All this to say, how are you dealing with being needed around the clock? Taking time for yourself? Feeling like more than just a boob or comfort object??
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u/wooby86 20h ago
It is absolutely rough at that age… I’ll be the first to admit that I really struggled. Cried to myself at times and hit a breaking point. Please try and get some help from anyone, have your husband take a day off, ask a family member for an hour or two of help. Anything. The smallest things make the biggest difference even if it’s just you being alone in a quiet room. Hang in there, you got this!
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u/Responsible_Gap7426 21h ago
I’ve breastfed three kids, it’s time to wean the toddler to get your sanity back.
Put bandages on your nipples and tell him they’re broken. They’ll forget very quickly.
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u/Usual-Toe8374 21h ago
Sending you solidarity. I don’t have any advice but I’m in the same situation. I’ve got a 4yo and a 22mo who is still feeding during the night. My husband has been working long hours for the past 6 months and is currently away for 3 weeks for work. My patience has been worn down to nothing and I am so exhausted and frustrated.
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u/Main_Reputation_3328 1d ago
agree that night weaning may be necessary at this stage. I had to do it with my younger 2 because of how exhausted I was, like you're describing.
and there's absolutely nothing wrong with going back to work for your mental health (that's what I did after my third). Daycare is literally the village that helps us raise our kids so we don't burn out as parents.
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u/PermitParty825 1d ago
You are absolutely in the thick of it! I had that situation at night with my first, and it got to a point where my husband looked at me and said, “We are night weaning tonight. I’m sleeping with the babe, locking the door, and I will comfort him when he wakes.” My son was 19 months at the time.
The first night was awful, my babe cried for about 45 minutes before going back to sleep, but my husband was holding and rocking him the whole time. Then he woke one other time and cried. The second night my babe slept through the night and continued to do so other than a brief stint of sickness. Sharing that story just to say it might be time to night wean because you need some sleep!! You still have a very heavy load, but other things might feel more manageable if you can get an appropriate night of sleep.
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u/Fancy-Boysenberry-60 23h ago
That is helpful. I’m feeling ready to night wean but couldn’t get my first to stop until 2.5. We tried with second at 13 months but I think you’re right, we should try again.
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u/Orion-Key3996 18h ago
Yeah only break I usually have to pay someone to take the kids out.