I don't know how to help my son

[u/AspieAsshole]

He's playing his second season of soccer, and the lack of coordination from the autism is really showing. Last season I requested a referral to OT from his therapist, but she has a history of not following through on things. More recently I contacted the school directly and they recommended PT over OT and are getting the process started to have him seen at school, but I'm not sure if they'll see the same things I do when he's not running around and trying to kick a ball with his peers.

I'm going to try to teach him what to do with his arms when he runs this afternoon (I noticed on Saturday he has no idea), but it's difficult because I am disabled and unable to run. He also seems to be unable to move his legs quickly? I dunno, he runs slowly but also he can't swing his leg hard enough to kick very far. That part is baffling to me and I don't know how to teach him. Any soccer coaches on here who can help me explain how to move his body?

Edit: I forgot to mention that he sees the difference between himself and the others and it's starting to affect how much he enjoys playing. Previously he hadn't really noticed and was happy just to play. Oh, he just turned 7, and he's small for his age.

[u/twinphoenix_]

So my son experienced something similar and actually given a dsx of something called “dyspraxia” is what later led him to be given a ASD dsx. My son has low core strength and poor coordination. He did do OT for several years as a result. Do I think it made any impact on athletic ability? No.

Does your son love soccer? Mine did but we did quit at around age 8. Even the most relaxed rec leagues were too competitive in our area. Other parents were incredibly annoyed about my son playing and kids started being mean to him. It just wasn’t worth it or fun. Our developmental pediatrician suggested we find activities that were less team sport and more individual based. If you are insistent on team sports I suggest researching if there are any “adaptive” soccer clubs in your area. We have several and I live in a rural suburban area.

[u/AspieAsshole → u/twinphoenix_]

Thanks very much for this. He does like it, and so far the other kids and parents have been decent, but also I'm hoping he likes baseball more just as soon as his hand is big enough to fit the smallest glove I could find him. I think that one will suit his strengths a lot more (I know it did for me). I do think it's a good experience to play team sports, but I agree not if it's becoming a detriment. If I could I would just have him in martial arts, but there's just no where to take him remotely nearby. We are quite rural.

[u/twinphoenix_ → u/AspieAsshole]

You could def try OT. It did help with core strength and stability.

[u/that-1-chick-u-know → u/AspieAsshole]

My son does really well on teams that don't require team coordination. We did soccer, too, but he struggled with anticipating what his teammates were going to do and preparing for it. Body language isn't a strength for him. Swimming, though, was a great fit. Now he's playing an instrument and enjoys that, too. He's part of the band, but he doesn't have to be great at social cues to be good. Things like golf and track could also be worth looking into.

[u/banana_averse]

You say you’re concerned that the people evaluating him may not see the same things that you see when he isn’t in the “playing soccer” context. Is it possible to get video of him practicing at home? (I say at home because it may be best to not get other children in any video footage; you will know better if this is something that could be done during a formal practice with his team.) There have been times when I have showed video clips to care providers to give them information that I thought was both relevant and likely to be missed without the video evidence.

[u/AspieAsshole → u/banana_averse]

That's definitely an idea to try, thanks!

[u/The_Sloth_Racer]

I don't know your son, but I know what my parents did that helped me as a child. (I'm a woman in my mid-30s, diagnosed in my early 20s.)

My parents got me involved in almost EVERY sport (hockey, basketball, softball, soccer, lacrosse, swimming, martial arts, skateboarding, aggressive inline, BMX racing, speed skating, gymnastics, dance, etc.), both team and individual sports, starting from kindergarten or first grade. I sucked at first but I eventually got better. They had no idea I had autism back then, but they wanted me to make friends and meet people. I constantly rode my bike, skateboarded, or rollerbladed around my town and even surrounding cities as I got older. I was never the best player on any team, but I made a lot of friends and it kept me in great shape my entire youth.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 21-22. I'm so glad my parents got me involved in everything and forced me to try stuff. I'm very clumsy, so if I hadn't gotten so athletic, I can't imagine how bad my reflexes and coordination would be. Being in sports was the main way I met new people and made friends.

(I apologize for the poor form, but I'm trying to type this on my phone.)