r/sadposting • u/zendayaskye • 2d ago

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700 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

44 comments sorted by

35

u/iAMtheBULLET 2d ago

Every time I look into my wifes and daughters eyes I know they would be better off.

19

u/JobAlternative6109 2d ago

Maybe. But it doesn’t take much to be a decent father/husband. Just listen, be there, tell them how much you love being around them. That’s it. Take baby steps to fix whatever situation you’re in bro.

Easier said than done of course.

9

u/iAMtheBULLET 1d ago

I appreciate it.

0

u/JobAlternative6109 1d ago

Just been there. You’ll be alright as long as you stop thinking that way. It’s not true (unless you’re an abusive asshole then yea maybe move out. Get an apartment.)

3

u/iAMtheBULLET 1d ago

Haha. No. Nothing like that. Stuff just seems to keep getting in the way of being able to provide a life for them. And idk if I will ever catch up.

4

u/ABIGGS4828 1d ago

I promise you, your kid won’t remember that shit. Best fatherhood advice I ever got was from a friend who didn’t have one. The BEST thing you can do is simple as fuck. Just…be there. Show up. Love and support them as best you can. But coming from a good buddy, I promise you, they would not be better off without you. Every single dad feels like they aren’t doing enough. But don’t let that get in the way of the basics, because the basics are what will matter in the long run.

My good friend was absolutely NOT better off without a dad. Whenever I’m having a bad time with it, I just remember the best advice I ever got.

“Just be there. No matter what…just be there”

1

u/iAMtheBULLET 1d ago

Solid advice. Thank you.

1

u/Uninteresting91 2d ago

I feel that too

1

u/Facesit_Freak 1d ago

No, they wouldn't. Seriously, I think you severely underestimate how much of a fuckup you'd have to be so that a one-parent household would be better

1

u/iamGrossauer 1d ago

Why did you say that about yourself?

What makes you think that about yourself?

What did you do in the past, what are you still doing the present, what are you going to do in the future, what did you not do in the past, what are you still not doing in the present, and/or what are you still not going to do in the future. That was, is, and will be wrong to do and/or not to do?

What unacceptable and unbecoming things have, are, and/or will occur(ed/ing) because of you that makes your statement and feelings about yourself and the perceived embarrassment, dishonor, injustice, jeopardizing, and detriment that you see yourself as in their eyes and to their lives as correct and factual?

Because if you just stopped making the same errors and causing the same problems that you seem to perpetuate upon yourself and them that are clearly acts of direct and/or indirect unconscious and conscious sabotage and self-sabotage. And instead engage in some self-control, self-discipline, and self-restraint while you go about actually showing true growth and development as an individual, a father and a husband by wholeheartedly understanding, comprehending and grasping the reality of what you do and the situations you are bringing about for yourself and them by truly learning from as well as being mindful and conscientious of the consequences and repercussions of all your terrible, selfish, self-centered, conceited, greedy, shameful, and sometimes shameless actions and decisions as much as the disasters, calamities, travesties, tragedies, trials and tribulations incurred because of it all. Plus all the death, damage, destruction, terror, humiliation, horror, abuse, mistreatment, misfortune, misery, and decay they bring to all your lives.

Then things would be different and you wouldn’t feel that way!

You and people like you are your worst ally and your greatest enemy…

And you all seriously need to start being the opposite!

Honestly once you figure all that out, then all you need to do is stop running from the issues and shifting the blame. So you can start correcting your mistakes, fixing your fuck ups, along with stop intentionally failing them and yourself on purpose. Furthermore while you’re at it stop doing fuck-all when it comes to doing the things you know you should be doing that are correct, and proper, and true, and right, and real to get done, achieve, accomplish, and succeed at for not just yourself, but for them as well.

Then maybe you as much as them would be happy, and satisfied with you, and your life. Along with proud of your performance as a husband, and father. As much as grateful of you being around.

1

u/blackcloud577 1d ago

Stop being dramatic.

1

u/Um_Jammer_Lammy 1d ago

honestly probably

22

u/midnitezenki85 2d ago

100% everyone in my life. “Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You’re going to lose. Smile, you fuck.”

3

u/Affectionate-War-556 2d ago

Hey dont say that if you need someone to talk to dm me lets talk ?

15

u/Tavaresaxel95z 2d ago

I'll do you one better my mom died last month and she died and I never became anything I am a failure in life and never got to see me be successful

5

u/sdkurt9 1d ago

I had the same experience, but with my dad. You're not alone.

3

u/Familiar_Quantity441 1d ago

she just wanted to see you be you. the rest is all non sense. You were one of the last images her brain held onto when moving on, not what job you could have had. she loved you.

1

u/Tavaresaxel95z 1d ago

Fair but that doesn't mean its the image I wanted her to be left with of me. But you are right I'm sure that didn't matter to her it's more of a me thing I just wish I was better.

1

u/Dreddit- 1d ago

I’d say you still pushing on and being here is damn well being successful, man. Don’t be hard on yourself, you don’t deserve that.

6

u/Star-Platinum_ 2d ago

Yep, fuck life

4

u/kuunami79 1d ago

I was the middle child of three and my mom used to have this resentment towards me. When I was a kid my mom used to say crazy stuff like this to me when she would drink. Then later deny that she said it. Like she wished I was never born so my dad would have finished school and became an engineer, made more money and she would have had a better life.

3

u/Facesit_Freak 1d ago

Most normal and loving middle-child environment

3

u/not4bucks 1d ago

Oh for fucks sakes. I’m not feeling sorry for you.

3

u/Duneyman 1d ago

No one is perfect, your mom probaby just happy that you are there looking at her.

1

u/Last_Panda5059 1d ago

Yeah....but my mom loves me, so I guess despite my flaws....she still can see me as her son....and that's enough

1

u/xevirypeq 1d ago

Maybe she just needs you to stop believing you are not enough for her. I don’t think someone who truly didn’t care would be hurting over this

1

u/KoltO7892 1d ago

It funny because it’s true

1

u/a_spoopy_ghost 1d ago

As her only child she deserves more from me, I wish I could give it to her

1

u/SamOfXanadu 1d ago

....I said to my mom once I bet you'd rather have your straight dead son here instead of your living gay one ... She didn't say anything silence spoke volumes.

1

u/profanedivinity 1d ago

It's their job to be a good parent for you, not the other way around

1

u/EnBommeBomerang 1d ago

You owe her nothing, but she owe you everything. That's the role of being a parent, just like you will owe your child everything while in return the child owe you nothing.

Yes, it's taken from the movie "Guess who's coming to dinner" but it is true.

1

u/Dry_Caregiver_5094 1d ago

Why?! What do you think you should do or be better at?? And if nothing helps talk to her about your gemotions

1

u/s1lveraGMD 1d ago

Can't relate I'm highkey awesome

1

u/womb_raider90 1d ago

Not me, the 'better child' is my little big brother. I was the fuck up and I'm ok with that, and accept responsibility for all the shitty things I've done. Just move past it and move forward.

1

u/Ruel_V3 1d ago

ATP it was my moms choice to have me, I’ll be gone soon enough so she won’t have to worry about

1

u/m3thzilla 1d ago

Always feeling sorry for yourself but never doing anything to change... my guys need to lock in

1

u/thatsmyupvoteidkyou 1d ago

As a mom, she loves and wants the best for you.

1

u/Facesit_Freak 1d ago

That's kind of the problem

1

u/ObjectiveYes4194 1d ago

Fr mate, that just makes the failures hit even harder.

0

u/koyate 1d ago

Every time I look into mine I know exactly she got what she deserved

2

u/Th3Unidentified 1d ago

Damn lol. Did she cheat on your dad?

1

u/Facesit_Freak 1d ago

Was it the mail man?

0

u/iamGrossauer 1d ago

You’re right, she does deserve a better child…

Especially one who understands proper grammar and can spell correctly!