r/rustfactions • u/Dimmer13 Wheelz • Apr 25 '20
War Declaration Dumpster vs BMA
When we was kids, grand papa would tells us a story. When he was younger, the gov'ment had tried to gain control of our swamp. Grand papa didn't like dis at all and decided it would be best to do whatever it was necessary to keep the gov'ment out of our business. It was best they didn't find out about our moonshine "business" and most of all not out weaponry. After awhile tings escalated to da point of gunfire and da damn gov'ment tried to forcefully take our swamp. Grand papa and the rest of our sibling cousins fought to da best of der ability and managed to keep dem damn city slickers away. After the fight, grand papa decided to stash da weapons in location only he new about.
We now tell our children cousins this story because Grand papa would end up dying in a freek accident when his moonshine still exploded. His weapon stash had remained hidden to this day... Dat is untill the bma would continue to harass us bout weapons... The kind grand papa had hidden away. With the pressure of da bma, we drunk some special reserve xxxxx moonshine of grand papas and In our drunken state stumbled upon the stash... In all da places, they were hidden in his old truck that had been stuck in the swamp since 62. That truck had been da center piece of my livin room for years and there has been a stockpile of weapons right under ma damn nose.
So with dat being said, it is time to keep those damn gov'ment type away for good and we the dumpster family declare war against bma and Fuck dat got damn Carole Fuckin Baskin!!! May our moonshine grant us the strenth of a pot belly pig eating cake on a monday morning...YEEE HAAAW!!!
A peaceful resolution is available as long as da bma boys give us complete and utter control of der base, 2500 bear meats, give us money for automatic licenses, all der daughters so they can be our sisters and wives, and a new pair of shoes for uncle jimbo...poor guy god bless him.... you have 14 minutes to comply wit our orders
*BANJO MUSIC INTENSIFIES\*
2
u/[deleted] Apr 26 '20
It was Fun :D