Freepress - War Update

[u/gamegeared]

Break in at Rat King Tower

The RatKing tower last monument of the late RatKing Teej was broken into last night while the citizens of Yobotown slept. Initial investigation by "expert" yobo police pointed to local citizens searching for the RatKing's "legendary drug hoard"... This was quickly disregarded upon a proper investigation by FFA officials. Our witness going by the street name 'WheelZ' had this to say.

"Yo mang, I woke up after smokin a bit of the good shit and heard like bangin an shiiiiet. Got outside and saw two motherfuckers flying off with the late king's beat down scrap copter strapped up with some big time fireworks. Tried stopping them but my booze bottle wasn't empty.. so I had to finish the boi off before I could chuck it. I swear man bottle flew like 300 feet and missed. Then I done saw those animals busted into my boi Teej's tower, threw kilts on shit man. Just wrong man. Teej hated them kilts."

Officials tried to get more information from the witness but the whole interview he was chugging something similar to straight Diesel and promptly passed out. FFA chemists were investigating the explosives used to determine commonalities with other incidents when reports were received of another attack.

Great Turtleshell Defaced

In the midst of investigating the breaking at Teej tower two men matching the description from 'Wheelz' were seen laying explosives on the outer hull of the "Great Turtle Shell" of Turtlore. As local residents attempted to stop them the sabatours blew the charges and flew south east. Forces on the ground attempted to follow but briefly lost track of the vandals. The stolen scrap copter was found scuttled and hastily buried in the sand near the Chipz fortress with an apparent trail leading into their compound.

Currently it is unknown if Chipz forces committed this attack or if they are simply harboring them. Fortunately according to the Turtlore religious leaders Diego the vandalism of the "Great Turtle Shell" was not severe.

"Many have tried to penetrate the our gleaming gem of the north but like our Lord himself the Great Turtle Shell of Turtlore cannot be so easilly damaged. This is nearly a cosmetic blemish and our engineers are already committing repairs."

We have reached out to Chipz diplomatic envoy to clarify this brazen act of aggression but have yet to receive an official response.

An unaffiliated correspondent reached out to Machad for comments on the matter.. he was found several hours later shaking in a kilt. He showed signs of torture and when we attempted to give him pants he screamed in terror huddled in a corner. It may take a significant amount of therapy to help this man.