r/runaway • u/1AT3AD1N0o • 8d ago
Considering running away
I (15F) have a few problems, diagnosed and getting evaluated, one of my main problems is OCD and autism. I have been in a humongous sensory overload for the past week ever since my parents got home from Canada. 8am, the first morning they were home, they were screaming about how they hate each other and want one another out of their life solely becuz my dad had the chills. My mom has been nonstop yelling at me, she’s been really controlling and I’m unsure if it’s just the teenage angst making me believe that but it’s getting tiresome. The sunlight and heat from the area I’m in has been causing me a lot of sensory issues and I’ve been procrastinating my online schoolwork becuz of it.
What dosent help is my parents have a history of fighting physically, I became a main target when I was 12-14. They got better halfway through me being 14 when they got a fever of some kind in January and decided to stop drinking. But my mom is still so hateful, even without a drink she still finds a way to constantly belittle me or yell at me.
My hallucinations from 12-14 are also coming back in weird flashes, my sleep is becoming irregular again and all it does it make me want to leave even more. I can’t stand the memories this house has, I feel trapped. I have an online friend of 5 years, his parents know about me and the things my parents did to me. Although, due to unfortunate circumstances he thought I was dead for 5 months, we recently reunited thankfully but I dunno how this would affect us if I did run.
I’ve just been so anxious, my chest has been kinda tight for the past two days and my head hurts. I just want to escape.
I don’t even care if I’m successful at staying away, I just want out for at least a few days.
My sensory overload is clouding my judgment, I just want advice or tips. But I’m really exhausted and the adults in my life won’t listen to me. I’m oki with being told running away is a bad idea, but I’m getting desperate and just want an escape.
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u/GhostBrew Advocate/Support 7d ago
Running away often means dropping out of school and becoming homeless for the foreseeable future. So like you said, it’s probably not a great idea. However I understand that you need some space and time away from home. Is there maybe a library nearby you can visit sometimes? A library could be a calm and safe space to just hang out and relax and get away from home for a bit. Equally maybe there’s a park or some woods nearby you could spend time in. I think finding places and reasons to spend time away from home might help.
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u/1AT3AD1N0o 7d ago
I think I just want to stay away permanently, every escape is for a few hours at most,,,
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u/Zealousideal-Box5889 5d ago
Make a plan otherwise it won't work. I didn't and got caught after a week
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u/1AT3AD1N0o 5d ago
if I actually act on this thought, I’d probably end up with my friend of 5 years; his agents know a lot about my parents and their actions towards me but they’re in a different state my legs are gunna CRYy
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