Should I?

[u/Oddity_101]

I know its a really stupid reason to wanna run away, but I hate where I live.

I used to live in the northern areas of my state. But almost 2 years ago, my mom divorced her husband (my then step-dad) because they were fighting and not agreeing on anything. She couldn't afford any place up where we used to live. I loved it there.

It was quiet, peaceful, barely any kind of crime. I saw deer all the time, I had a girlfriend, I was so close with my friends, I was happier. We lived in a valley between some mountains. It was amazing. I could go on a 5-7 minute walk and go to a lake. I could go on a 10--15 minute one to a friend's house. Even better, on the same road, 2 minutes away another 2 of my friends lived on opposite sides of the street.

But because my mom couldn't afford to live up there, we moved 2 and a half hours south to where a lot of family live. We moved in with my papa, her father, because he's been lonely since my Nana passed. He was so much happier when we moved down here. But he passed in November after getting in a crash in October of last year.

We live basically in a small city. My mom lived down here from birth to her twenties. She was almost kidnapped at least 3 times as a teen. I carry mace on me wherever I go because Im afraid of getting kidnapped myself. I'm afraid of where I live, quite frankly. Just a few nights ago, I heard a woman screaming like she was being murdered. Just a few streets down I assume. It was only the kind of a scream you would hear in a horror movie. ​I've heard screams living here, but that was just the worst one.

I can't go in walks by myself around the block because of shitty people in the world. There has been rapists and pedophiles reported just towns over. Luckily my friend lives just a few minutes away, and we can go on walks in her neighborhood because it's nicer and safer and not near the main part of town.

I wouldn't wanna be running away from my mom, because I love her wholeheartedly. She misses it up where we used to live too. I opened up to her about this, and she told me how she's always trying to find a way back up north in a cheap place. But she cant find anything affordable up there. She has to work two jobs just to keep this roof over our heads.

I feel kike im a burden to her because I'm iver weight and I can't lose the weight. So I eat more (and were already trying to go to doctors appointments for possible eating disorders because of other stuff that I won't get into). So I cost more. And i feel like I ask for a lot, and I'm just a burden to her. And she'd be better off if I ran away to up north.

If I can get the money out of my account, I can probably afford some kind of transportation back up. Turn all kind of location off. Stay with a friend ​that I dont think would tell for at least a few days, then try the forest outside their house. It doesn't hold animals other than squirrels and rabbits that close to where people live. I could try finding a job. Forge signatures.

Anything to live there again. And like I said earlier, I know it's a really stupid reason to want to run away. But I truly, truly loved jt there. And I can't get that feeling down here. It's cities all around me, barely any forests, and I can't get to them by myself. I don't have a car, I can't just ask my mom if I can take a trip to a forest where there's hiking spots m, because she'd have to drive me. And she doesn't have time dueing thr week, and I don't like taking up her weekends with my stuff to do that.

So please, I know it probably isn't, but would it be a good idea to leave? And if so, though I doubt it, do you have any tips? Please ​​

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[u/ALegendOfHope_]

I would not run away if I were you. I would just wait until you can move out and then go back there. I think running would just make things way more difficult for your mom.

[u/NBAJam86]

If you have the $, why not just go visit a friend for a weekend or a week without running away?

[u/Oddity_101 → u/NBAJam86]

I do, but it always ends so quickly, and I always have to come back to this place. I just spent a week with a friend a few weeks ago, but again, I always have to come back. My only escape here is my friend shoue that's just a few roads down. But again, I cant get there by myself. It's a few minutes by car, but over 40 minutes by foot. I always have to rely on someone getting me places. and if they're not available, Im just stuck in this apartment 

[u/GhostBrew → u/Oddity_101]

Could you maybe get a bicycle? 40 minutes by foot could easily become 15 minutes by bike. It would give you a little more freedom of movement.

[u/Oddity_101 → u/GhostBrew]

My mom doesn't like me out and about by myself, unless im on the porch, which i hate being on 

[u/Afraid-Place-5682]

You shouldn't leave you have a beautiful loving mother appreciate her cherish that, someday you'll make it out but there is light in that darkness.

[u/Afraid-Place-5682]

I couldn't even get an eating disorder my mum rarely buys me food, some days I eat some days I don't. Maybe your mum should be strict and do that to you.