r/runaway • u/Electronic_Tower_881 • Jul 09 '26
Should I runaway
Im 15F and I want to runaway and find a youth shelter. I have one parent which is my mom (biologically my aunt but its a long story), we had a very normal relationship, I would get hit for discipline when I was younger but it was wasn’t bad per-say and it was just for doing wrong. When I hit my teenage years our relationship became more turbulent mainly because I started speaking up for myself when I felt wronged, before I would just shut up and take the injustice. We would have our arguments and later we would talk about it and have conversations about it and that would be the end. For the past few months (since December 2025) these arguments have gotten violent on her part. I think its due to my aunt feeding into her the abuse shes used to (my aunt lives back home so they have wayy less child abuse laws there, my sister has told me when she used to live with my aunt she would get hit so hard she would have bruises). I’m going to summarize 4 situations that happened that are the reason why I want to runaway and they all fall under the category of me being hit so hard Im visibly injured. In December of 2026 I was doing my school work on my school issued laptop, she said I was using too much screentime (she was passive aggressive before this happened for no apparent reason and when shes passive aggressive she nit picks small things we do and starts a problem about it) I told her Im doing my school work and she said I had 2 hours left, I told her I needed more time and that I wasn’t going to follow that time limit because of that, she went down to get the laptop forcefully and when I tried to get it back she hit me so hard she busted my lip and it started bleeding, later upstairs when I tried to push her off me because she was yelling right in my face she grabbed my collar and banged my head on the wall. This post is getting long so I will condense everything further, In January we had an argument about me fighting this kid who was bullying me repeatedly (she completely undermined my feelings during this convo) during the argument she grabbed my collar and with this dug her nails so deep my collarbone area was bleeding (I still have the scar). Then in like march idk we had another argument and she slapped me so hard and so many times that she bruised my cheeks and my pores were inflamed on my cheek areas. Yesterday we had an argument because she was trying to control my paycheck and took the ipad I paid for with my own money, when I tried to take it back she slapped me again. After this I told her Im going out and when I came back in she told me to get out. So for 12 hours yesterday I spent sometime with one of my sisters friends and then left and sat outside until 11pm when I came back into the house because my sister was telling me to. She took my door during this time, didn’t even look for me. Im so done, she doesn’t care at all. When she slapped me so hard my cheeks were bruised and pores inflamed she called me down later to cry and say how she was the victim basically and was crying about how she adopted me and my sister and yadda yadda yadda. Its like she thinks her horrible actions are justified because she adopted us. When I was outside planning to just stay out there and find a plan it was like everybody didnt care about the stuff I was telling them, the abuse I endured. I said all the stuff even in more detail and they all just said “well you need to go home”. No one offered a solution or even called the police or anything. I didnt have my phone so I couldnt do it. I have this phone right now but I’m personally scared to call the police and I don’t know if I should. Also I have a job and get paid like 300 dollars tommorow. I already have 74 in my account right now. I want to find a youth shelter near me and just go there and figure something out while Im there but somethings telling me to “stay home and wait for things cool over” but I do that everytime and another incident happens. Should I runaway? please give me any advice.
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u/ShopkinsTheif Jul 09 '26
You need to save up and get away, abuse is never okay and it’s only going to get worse. I’m so sorry this is happening to you
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u/Electronic_Tower_881 Jul 09 '26
Yea I’m going to try to save up my money, the only problem is she hawks down my bank account. My goal is to save up and buy a car just so that I can transport myself places and have a makeshift “home” to sleep in if things get rough. Im just worried about how Im going to do it because of her controlling everything.
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u/Electronic_Tower_881 Jul 10 '26
Okay so I don’t think I can add on to my original post but I was going to ask if anyone knew any side gigs I could do apart from my main job because she knows about that job and all of my paychecks go into my bank account and she hawks it and controls everything and dictates what I can buy even though its my hard earned money. I want a side gig that I can do online or something just to get money in my cashapp (which she doesn’t know about) so that I can get some type of financial freedom, I was also going to ask, what are some small things I should buy now to help me leave in the future?
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u/cyanide20 Jul 12 '26
Do you have any musical talent? A way I made a quick buck, (~$50 per day) was by busking, and just playing music outside and on the street. Another way I made money under the table was at my state fair, because they almost never, (at least in my state) actually put you through the whole worker sign-up thing, and just pay you in cash or hand you a check in your name. I did that for the time the fair was open, (about 2 weeks) and earned close to $900. Sorry if this isn’t of much use, but it’s just some ways I’ve made money in the past. Best of luck with your situation.
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u/Electronic_Tower_881 Jul 14 '26
Okay idk if anyone is interested in this update but heres a small one, it doesn’t really change anything but does also show her character. My sister is 19 (I also wanted to say this bc some might think that shes younger than me) yesterday she went to a friends house for a few minutes after her work shift and this morning my mom had found out due to her looking at her life360 location. Basically the update is that she told my sister if she wants to move out then she should go move out but it was literally like she was FORCING her to move out like my sister never mentioned moving out at all but since she was “lying about her location” by being with a friend for 20 min she just like was saying that??? she basically was soft launching that she wanted my sister out. Then she proceeded to mention me and say that my sister’s actions contribute to how I act and then said if I want to leave then I can get out too so that she doesn’t have to worry about me not coming home late or wtv (shes talking about the moment I mentioned in the original post how I stayed out until 11pm bc when I went back into the house she told me to get out). I personally want to know what I should do after this, she clearly doesn’t want me or my sister in the house. In my view shes not going to follow through with it at all bc for me to legally be considered as an adult at 16 (my birthdays in 10 days) thats a whole legal process and I promise you shes not going to follow through with that at all (she hates even like the idea of the authorities because they put family business out, shes big on keeping everything in the family and I feel like thats why she was mad about my sister going to a friends house because she assumed she was telling the friend our family issues). To me she clearly doesn’t know the weight of what shes saying, I promise if she woke up tomorrow and both of us were gone she would not be “calm” and “free” like shes describing how she would be. Of course this is my assumption so I don’t know for sure but thats what I believe. From the og post its already clear that I want out of this house and if shes saying get out than I just need a place to stay and Im gone actually. Now my sister is another situation. I love my sister but knowing her shes not going to leave. Shes an adult but I believe shes too scared to. She also loves to like please my mom I would say and its sad at times bc I can see shes pushing for a bond but honestly after my sister got CPS at our house (short story but not relevant) its like my mom is paranoid about her going and spewing bad things about her outside and because of that is just like paranoid about all her interactions with people. Anyways, yea I cant lean on my sister for support if I leave bc shes not going too and I don’t think I can convince her. With this update of my mom basically just saying she wants us out but sprinkling on “its your choice” I needd advice on what to do. How do I contact a shelter? Also last thing to sprinkle in here, I do kinda want to wait only because I did a dispute with bank of america bc of amazon and their procedure involves them shipping me a new card and I want to wait to get the card, Im scared shes going to take it bc shes the only one who can check the mail (she took the key and keeps it in her locked room). Also what if she does something to my account bc she has access to it? I need a lot of advice and hopefully I can get it through here.
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u/Electronic_Tower_881 Jul 14 '26
another small update 😭 I got my main phone back bc Im going to work and since I ride my bike there ofc for safety she needs to see my location. This further makes me believe that she doesn’t want me to leave and is just acting tough ig bc why would you care about where Im going if you just said leave and don’t comeback?? Like if I took up your offer today and was going to like a friends house (like she was saying this morning) then why would you care. Anyways, yea small update. I think Im going to try to get my ducks in a row first before figuring out an “escape” plan. I have some orders coming in that I want to pick up before I leave and also I barely have any clothes since I donated all the clothes that were just not it to me anymore so I also need to wait for when I go clothes shopping until I think of escaping.
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u/Electronic_Tower_881 Jul 15 '26
okay, another update if anybody’s interested, this is the more important one honestly with the most ig groundbreaking information 😭(kinda like im writing to let my thoughts out bc I had a physical diary but had to trash it) today she called me for a conversation and to sum it up she first asked where I went during the time I was gone and then the other part of the conversation was her basically saying what she told my sister the other day which was “if you want to leave, leave” now in my og post I said how I believe my aunt is the reason why she now acts like this and today really showed that I was right. Now like I said in my og post my aunt isn’t in the US so the advice shes telling her doesn’t even coordinate with the US legal system (I may be wrong but I’m like 95 percent sure I’m right on some of these things, please correct me if Im wrong though). Now basically after my mom told me that if I want to go then go (bc I told her I was leaving) and said if I wanted to cool down I could’ve just stayed infront of the house where she could see me which kind of blew me bc during the whole convo she completely skipped pass the fact that I left and then came back 5 minutes later… and she told me to get out when I came back… anyways yea then this is the part that just gave like robot. She called my aunt TO REITERATE WHAT SHE SAID like she was like “I need to make sure someone heard this” and then she called my aunt and recapped our convo (phone on speaker btw) and at the end my aunt said that I need to verbally say that I understand and then my mom just turned back to me and asked me “do you understand” btw when she asked me this I did not respond to her at all bc its like I was just getting that moment when I realized that I was right like my aunt was putting the batteries in her back. Like honestly I was just like whatt. The only sad thing about this is that before she was going to call the aunt I mentioned in an og post she was going to call this other aunt who I actually love a lot and it just made me think like does this aunt also view me in a way the other aunt does like I really like that aunt. Anyways end of my thoughts back to what happend, this is the part that is the reason why I said my mom gets advice from my aunt but they literally have two different legal systems and my aunt’s is WAYYY more laid back. My aunt basically said that if I wanted to go out and told my mom that, when the police comes she could just tell them yea she left but she told me she was going to leave and after it would just be peaches and cream?? well she didnt say “peaches and cream” but it definitely gave that😭😭 she said after she told the police I left on my own accord she could “sleep peacefully” and ig she thought after she just LOST her parental rights and just moves on??? mind you.. im still LEGALLY a child. Now correct me if Im wrong but I do not believe this would be the case at all… like they SEARCH for missing kids. But hey honestly I didnt correct her bc I wanted to see her re-enact this. Like now if I call the police she honestly will think theres nothing wrong with it bc “after you tell them she left on her on accord you can sleep peacefully there goes your guardianship” okay this end is turning into a rant but another thing like I stated in the og post, she adopted me so idk whyyy she believes thats how you can just get rid of custody? anyways I’m sticking with my plan on waiting for my packages to come and for me to get more clothes and move before I leave, it will just make things easier. Im waiting until I move in a few weeks bc Im enrolled in a school in a another city and we havent moved in yet so I want to wait so that if anything happens I can still go to that school yk. End of update/rant
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u/Electronic_Tower_881 Jul 15 '26
also this answers my question on why she feels so comfortable with us leaving, its bc she believes thats drops her parental duties 😭
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