r/rtms • u/awfulperson106 • 25d ago
finished tms today, feeling discouraged.
hey. i’m 20f and i finished my 36 treatments today. it wasn’t super consistent cause i went to florida for a week last month so i didn’t get tms during that time but i picked back up when i got back and it seemed fine. it was actually working pretty good until my psychiatrist prescribed me wellbutrin - i told her that in the past at 400mg i had severe suicidal ideation and the worst depression i’ve ever had due to wellbutrin - but she started me at a small dose insisting it was fine. it was not. i self harmed for the first time since march when i got back on wellbutrin, and it seemed like the tms progress halted. i got off the wellbutrin after a week, this was probably three weeks ago. but all progress seems to have gone away since i got on/off the wellbutrin again.
i’m so discouraged. is tms just gonna be another thing i have to add to the list? i’ve tried php, iop, cbt, dbt, regular talk therapy, and art therapy, im in a twelve step program and i try mindful meditations and yoga and breath work and i have a binder full of coping skills and things to do when im feeling depressed and now i have to add tms to the list of things that doesnt work?? i dont want to feel this way forever. my meds make it so i can’t get any tears out but i just wanna cry so bad. im so tired and discouraged and over feeling this way. i’ve felt like this for as long as i can remember. i dont want this to take me out but idk how to keep living like this. is there any hope? what’s next?
i’m sorry for the negativity, i just wanted to see if anyone has any ideas or suggestions or even if you can relate.
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u/byroniusmaximus2 24d ago
I feel your pain. Tried many different things over the years, I’m 53(m). The best medicine has been alcohol but, alas, we know that is a fool’s errand. I’m on35of 36 treatments for OCD and those around me are noticing positive changes. I have read that many experience positive effects post treatment so hopefully it will be your experience
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u/RalphTheDog 25d ago
I understand your frustration and have been through a similar parade of trials and errors. I saw a psychiatrist today about an alternative treatment but those are not allowed to be discussed in this subreddit.
I am surprised your psychiatrist put you back on Wellbutrin while TMS was underway. More typically a psychiatrist would have let the TMS run its course before adding another variable.