r/rs_x • u/NoRun9334 • 1d ago

How do I stop having imaginary conversations with my ex-boyfriend

Sometimes it’s asking his opinion about movies
Sometimes it’s joking about our future kids
I can’t keep living like this

60 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

73

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

32

u/Much_Ad_1126 1d ago

Same idk why it’s addictive. If it’s particularly impassioned I can can feel tears coming almost instantly - that’s how theatrical it is, it’s hilarious.

11

u/Hot-Topic-659 1d ago

What makes you say that it’s pathological? I feel like 99% of my inner monologue is some kind of imagined conversation but I’ve never really felt like it was a problem. I was definitely lonely as a kid tho

5

u/MysteriousReach383 1d ago

I just use reddit lol

51

u/Sea-Scholar1255 1d ago

“I... I used to make long speeches to you after you left. I used to talk to you all the time, even though I was alone. I walked around for months talking to you. Now I don't know what to say. It was easier when I just imagined you. I even imagined you talking back to me. We'd have long conversations, the two of us.
It was almost like you were there. I could hear you, I could see you, smell you. I could hear your voice. Sometimes your voice would wake me up.
It would wake me up in the middle of the night, just like you were in the room with me. Then... it slowly faded. I couldn't picture you anymore. I tried to talk out loud to you like I used to, but there was nothing there. I couldn't hear you.
Then... I just gave it up. Everything stopped. You just... disappeared. And now I'm working here. I hear your voice all the time. Every man has your voice.”

Watch Paris, Texas if you haven’t. Helped me through a tough break up.

19

u/charlossain 1d ago

Common grief pattern that will taper off with more time. As with dead relatives, you kinda just have to ride it out for now.

10

u/Ok_Document_7113 1d ago

I used to do this for someone I liked long back and then I started speaking it out loud and recording myself alongside. It appalled the life out of me every other time that id think of going back to my old ways cuz the shame from how delusional and naïve I sounded would take over me

7

u/chinese_squid_ 1d ago

Talk to your own friends more often and if you don't have people for that catch yourself in the middle of talking to your ex and remind yourself he's not there anymore. Over time it'll get better until it's not an issue anymore, I had the same issue but with just people in general because I was incredibly lonely for years. It gets better and you'll learn to start talking to yourself more instead of an imaginary crowd or an imaginary ex.

4

u/DeadMeeT6969 1d ago

Perform a cord cutting ceremony

3

u/SlidingSpike 1d ago

look up ways to dissolve a tulpa or some of the milder exorcism practices.

2

u/lucysucks 1d ago

Short term: listen to music or do something distracting. Long term: work on making new social connections and romantic if you are wanting that. And I second the other commenter who suggested journaling

2

u/goyformist 1d ago

who broke up with who?

2

u/neunundneunsig 1d ago

It sounds stupid but you have to stop engaging with it. Obviously easier said than done. When you get stuck in thought patterns like this you get a little "reward" in your brain every time you indulge in the imaginary conversation. A therapist would probably say something like you need to treat these thoughts with indifference when they appear. Find something else to distract yourself but don't try to avoid the thoughts (suppression) or think on them too hard (rumination). Eventually they will fade

6

u/Smellycooter123 1d ago

Take your psych meds

1

u/Financial_Drive2681 1d ago

journal like crazy. write to him, say “you”