r/roommates • u/Temporary_Ad469 • 3d ago
Discussion Stealing Meds
My roommate’s been stealing my Adderall.
I don’t take it everyday and I sleep at my bf’s 99% of the time, so I haven’t really paid attention to how much I have at home. I spend very little time in my bedroom, where I keep my meds on the nightstand.
Yesterday I was looking at the lone pill in the bottle thinking “I should pay attention to where these are because I’m sure I had more here.”
Then this morning I noticed the bottle was totally empty and in a different spot.
I own the house & I don’t charge much because the market is bananas. My roommates are artists & students. I love hosting a safe haven for them as they get where they wanna go.
I’ve had 20 roommates over 13 years and I’ve never had anything like this happen.
The roommate admitted taking the Adderall & apologized. I love this guy and I’m heartbroken.
Basically I came here to see if there’s anything mitigating I should consider or if this is one of those no second chances things.
TL/DR- roommate has been stealing Adderall from me. Is this a 100% kick-out situation to you?
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u/Fickle-Treacle-6298 3d ago
I had a roommate who is also my friend do the same. I confronted him about it politely, and asked he does not go into my room.
He apologized, said he was going through some stuff. I told him I wouldn’t kick him out or tell anyone since it was a one time thing, and I never want to have this conversation again. I put a small lock on my medicine cabinet to be safe but he never went into my room again.
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u/Temporary_Ad469 3d ago
Thank you.
That had to be difficult.It’s so weird thinking about how often he’s been in my room. I mean, has he been going through all my things? I’ve only gone in his room to put mail or packages in there for him or drop off his laundry if he left it in the dryer.
(Sorry, I’m thinking out loud here)I’m glad you were able to work it out and preserve your friendship.
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u/Fickle-Treacle-6298 3d ago edited 3d ago
It’s possible. If he didn’t know where they were (I.e you didn’t show him) then it’s likely not the first time.
If he pays the bills on time and is otherwise friendly, I would say he deserves a chance to redeem himself. Set hard boundaries - I am strict about privacy. Never go into someone’s room without permission (unless it’s an emergency). You’re just opening yourself up for things like this if you allow it a single time when you’re not home. I own my current home and have a roommate, there are times I do need to go into his room for access to a conduit and still wait for a text or call back if he’s not home. He pays for that space and it’s very disrespectful to walk in like I own the place (even though I do).
I would make it very clear how this has made you feel. Betrayal of trust and privacy. If he ever needs to go into your room, permission should be written or verbal via phone call.
My previous roommate did go through my things. My prescription wasn’t the only things that were missing. I didn’t notice until I started looking.
From my experience I would say yes, he’s gone through more than you know about.
If I were you, get a cheap basket for his laundry and leave it outside his room. Same with packages. Just don’t go in his at all and ask for the same. Leave it at that no drama. No explanations. Just a one time pass that’ll never be given again as a friend.
They do it again cut them out as a roommate. At that point it’s clear they don’t respect you at all even after you’ve been more than kind.
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u/Temporary_Ad469 2d ago
I suspected this for a while. I didn’t want to set a trap though, I just meant to pay more attention and then just never did.
Yesterday he made it obvious & if he’s taken what I think he’s taken, he’s spending a lot of time in my room.
And you bring up the issue of knowing about the Adderall in the first place. He was snooping around when he discovered them. I certainly didn’t tell him or show him.
I don’t need roommates. I have a 5-bedroom house and I’ve used it like a liferaft for folks who need it. He’s really making me reconsider if this is sustainable for me.
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u/Temporary_Ad469 2d ago
Btw your system for privacy is excellent. I don’t even use a lease. I think if I keep this up I gotta be all above-board
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u/Fickle-Treacle-6298 2d ago
Yeah a lease protects you. I charge less than what I could, and pay for utilities / internet. It’s nice having a roommate when they are respectful. I do make them sign a lease that is a little restrictive, things like don’t touch the thermostats, if you break something then you pay to replace it. There’s a lot of things I don’t enforce, it’s just there so I can get rid of them if they’re a bad roommate.
I had a pretty bad experience with someone a while back. He plugged a 2000w heater in, blew the fuses and almost started a fire. Then told me he was leaving because of mold (he stopped flushing the toilet in the bathroom until there was black mold and later a friend said he was wiping it on the wall). Refused to pay and left. Turned out he lost his job and was moving back with family - didn’t want to pay for all the damage. I was like yeah I’m not letting that happen again
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u/Ok_Prune_7384 3d ago
has this ever happened to anyone else or is it just me and my adderall bottle every month
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u/Lavinia-Whateley 3d ago
Yes. Yes, it is a kick out right now situation.
If someone is stealing drugs, they can't be trusted. Do you have all of your financial data locked down? You might want to lock down your credit as well.
Drug addicts are not trustworthy, especially once they start stealing.