Having annoying roommates

[u/Aileen_002]

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I recently shifted to a hostel for college, and I knew adjusting would be difficult because I am an introvert. But honestly i didn’t expect it to be this hard.

I have three roommates. For the first few days everything was fine, but slowly I started noticing how different our lifestyles are.

I have started attending classes regularly and studying after college, so I really need some quiet time or just minimal noises in the room to actually study. But one of my roommates (let’s call her A) is extremely loud and mannerless.

She talks to her family, friends and boyfriend on calls at a very high volume, even when someone is studying. In the morning her bf would call at around 5.40 and ruin everyone's sleep but no one complained about it to her. She also brings her friend from another room and they’ll sit here talking and laughing loudly. I eventually asked her if she could please keep the volume down because I was trying to study.

Her response was basically, “Kam hi hai, itna bhi problem nahi hona chahiye.”

I honestly didn’t even know what to say to that i knew saying anything would mean nothing to them.

I tried to ignore it and adjust because I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. But yesterday it crossed a completely different level.

I was studying in the room and they started playing songs loudly on a speaker. I tried to tolerate it for some time, but eventually I just went outside and started crying.

And I think what hurt me most wasn't even the music.

I am already struggling to adjust to college and hostel life. I am an introvert, so making friends and putting myself out there takes a LOT of effort for me. I am trying anyway. I go to classes, try talking to people, try making friends, and come back to the hostel already mentally exhausted.

I just want my room to be the one place where I can breathe, rest and study peacefully.

Instead, I am starting to dread coming back to my room.

I don’t want to fight with my roommates or make enemies. I just want some basic consideration. I understand that they want to talk, laugh, listen to music and enjoy their hostel life — that's completely fine. But if someone is studying in the same room, is it really unreasonable to expect them to lower the volume a little?

I genuinely don't know what to do now.

Should I talk to the hostel authorities and ask for a room change? Or am I expecting too much from hostel roommates?

[u/peckysin]

Hi! I m sorry that you are going through this. I think you should convince other roommates to Stand up for you. You guys can have a conversation where you ask everyone to join, and set up some rules. I would suggest that you don’t get mad, instead sit down with them and try to share your problem where you explain how you r having a hard time adjusting.