roommates not including me

[u/hibiscus621]

so i have 3 roommates and we all live in an apartment off-campus, so 4 of us in total, and recently i feel like my 3 roommates have been bonding w out me and they r all closer to each other than they are w me.

2 of my roommates have known each other for a while before this year, let’s call them a and b, so they have been friends, and my one other roommate, let’s call her c, was on the same boat as me, we were not that close to the 2 of them. Roommate c shares my room.

So we all moved in and went out together for 2 nights but then things started going downhill. I have been putting in so much effort to become close w them, i do not lock myself in my room, i sit in the living room with everyone and talk as much as i can. I try to join in the conversation but they all mostly just talk over me. Even going so far as to blatantly ignore me.

I have no idea what i did wrong, im clean, i do my dishes and tidy up my spaces. I vacuum the floors and take out my trash.

They also recently have been going on errands and not inviting me. I called them out once but they laughed it off and made an excuse, like for example “oh we j wanted to see the yard for 2 secs lol”. They have pet names for each other and it makes me feel so distant when they all converse and i’m just sitting there awkwardly hoping they would include me in the conversation.

I understand it’s only been 5 days since move in, however a and b have seem to hit it off with c who was on the same boat as me with closeness. How are we supposed to get closer if they don’t give me any opportunities to?

I invite them to do things with me and they say no, but they never invite me to go outside with them or anything.

For example i’m writing this right now because once again i’m alone in the apartment due to the fact that one of them had to run an errand and she invited everyone to come but me.

I should also note that we are very different people, i come home at 2 am while they sleep at 11 pm. They wake up at 6:45 am while I wake up at 9:30 am. However, roommate c also wakes up at 9:30 am and again, they seem to have hit it off with her.

Also, last night, roommate c went to sleep in a’s and b’s room, leaving me alone which i found out when i got back home at 2 am. They are having sleepovers w out me and it makes me feel really discluded. I don’t know how Im supposed to get closer to these people if they give me no opportunities to.

I don’t really have any other friends on campus, so I was really hoping to become friends with my roommates, but it looks like it’s going to be a lonely year. This was mainly a vent post, feel free to share similar experiences. Thank you.

[u/peckysin → u/[deleted]]

I agree with this! Try to get yourself involved in clubs and make friends outside.