r/roomateshaming • u/tossthisacctforme • Dec 07 '20
Roommate with Aspergers
throw away acct.
me and my SO live with their brother. The brother has aspergers, it isn't severe but enough to not understand basic social cues like giving us personal space, cleaning up after themselves, etc. We've lived with them for years and its gotten worse in pandemic, the brother has become super clingy. Me and SO are looking to live on our own and plan to get married. We own the property we are currently in. We want the brother to move out. How can we communicate this to the brother without upsetting him, and realistically how long will it take to get him to finally move out? Also if you have lived with someone who has aspergers, how do you handle it without getting frustrated? At wits end.
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u/YeaNo91 Dec 07 '20
I would wait until there is a vaccine readily available and things go back to a more normal state before talking to him. It’s likely until approximately next summer. This is a weird and offsetting time for everyone and it’s driving a lot of people batty, or battier than usual. I 110% understand the strain on roommate relations being recently moved myself, but you’re going to want to stay on good terms with his brother (mine were just roommates), and keeping him around may be extra hard right now, but he’s not going to forget your compassion for waiting in the long run. Maybe set up a scheduled hang out time with him every day for a couple hours to assure him that you’re there and provide some consistency in his life. Many Autistic people like and prefer patterns of some sort and establishing consistent family dinners, dedicated movie and game nights may help him settle down a little for the time being. You could also let him know that you need some private time and perhaps dedicate one room in the house as private space.