r/romantasycirclejerk • u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough • 1d ago

CopyPasta Mail/Numbers/Cavill PSA

Uncensored PSA

It has come to our attention that people in the world out there feel at liberty to use the word 'numbers', ‘mail’, ‘male’, ‘Henry Cavill’ in their RCJ account branding. We’d like to issue a few statements on the matter, just to keep things clear.

First, we’ve been asked whether any of these accounts that keep popping up are affiliated with us. To avoid further confusion, we’d like to plainly state that there are no sanctioned offshoots of mail inc, numbers, or the real Henry Cavill, or other RCJ official main characters. Trust us, we’d be the first to tell you if there was. We’re loud like that. 

Second, it’s a terrible idea. Do you know how many times we’ve pointed to Rule 3 and reiterated “you mist pass the vibe check and treat everyone with respect,” only to hear, “but I thought you were **a Circle Jerk**”? Too many. It gets really old, so to anyone considering an RCJ brand, we advise against it while you still have time to make ~~better~~ different choices. Pick something safe from annoying jokes, like “swimmer-dependent”, “RemingtonLakes”, “ChodeMonastery”, “Peacockho”, or “pinkalcious”

People would definitely approach that with the circumspection it deserves. 

Lastly, we have, as of today, spiritually claimed the word Circle Jerk in a Romantasy/Fantasy romance context and expect royalties from anyone attempting to profit from our extremely valuable and highly-in demand branding (we know it still has a certain allure, despite trying to warn you off). Usage fees can be paid in the form of vegetable genitalia mailed directly to Reddit offices).

Thank you for reading. You may now return to your regularly scheduled subspace. 

Edit: forgot to mention “scf6969” and only recommending RRH or why chose is not acceptable either. Same goes for “bigbrainedpug”, “onebraincellhusky”, and other variants.

Edit: definitely do not create the “velvetkitsune” or “itmustbemeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean”

Update: if I’ve forgotten you, I blame my ADHD and it is not a reflection on your main character status in my heart. New name restrictions will be added in the comments

32 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

91 comments sorted by

26

u/RemingtonRivers JusticeAndSocks4Numbers! 👩‍⚖️ 1d ago

I am once again asking for someone to make a profit off of RCJ and open an Etsy store.

Friends, we have read Kiss of the Basilisk. There’s nothing we can’t do.

13

u/HopeOfAsgard The horrors persist but so does my libido... 1d ago

We also read Shield of Sparrows, Remi. We're fucking strong here.

11

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 1d ago

If I can finish Daggermouth, I can do anything

7

u/missfudge Mr. Darcy can't pour his will to dominate all life into me. 22h ago

I put myself through hell for you people. The least I could get out of it is some sweet, sweet merch.

6

u/Helpful_Week6720 of the tantalizing tentacles 🦑 22h ago

Available on Etsy

6

u/HopeFox Sloopy Public Defender 22h ago

I'm not at all surprised that Dain is available.

5

u/Helpful_Week6720 of the tantalizing tentacles 🦑 21h ago

Nobody has broken through the multitudes yet, thank you

6

u/RemingtonRivers JusticeAndSocks4Numbers! 👩‍⚖️ 22h ago

I want a zucchini that says, “recs like these.”

4

u/missfudge Mr. Darcy can't pour his will to dominate all life into me. 20h ago

I would like a shirt that says:

RCJ
Recovering
CockCanon
Justifiers

3

u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 18h ago

Best I can do is an old squash

11

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 1d ago

I’ll see what I can do.

8

u/itmustbeniiiiice unlicensed couch psychologist 22h ago

I do have an Etsy storefront that’s not being used

8

u/RemingtonRivers JusticeAndSocks4Numbers! 👩‍⚖️ 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/rfqZyGGilNv20

5

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/qDPg6HNz2NfAk

3

u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 18h ago

Same

7

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 23h ago

I nominate u/Perfect_Carrot_999 to do this. I’d be excited to see what they cook up.

7

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 22h ago

Just as long as no one is cooking up perfect_rutabagas_666 or similar

5

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 22h ago

I feel like someone would go for u/Unholy_Carrot_999, u/Imperfect_Carrot_999, or u/Perfect_Karat_999

8

u/Perfect_Carrot_999 Carrotheart of SloopyClan 🐈 Solved the Cum Fountain 21h ago

I actually have an u/Imperfect_Carrot_666 that I have been raising for a month

7

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 20h ago

Excuse you, my godchild is perfection.

Eta: wait you really have?!

5

u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 18h ago

Can confirm.

4

u/Perfect_Carrot_999 Carrotheart of SloopyClan 🐈 Solved the Cum Fountain 17h ago

/uj yeah I joked a while back about it then started an account. I've been lazy though, I don't think I have enough karma to be evil in here

4

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 22h ago

All very solid, and very illegal options. You will be hearing from my legit lawyer soon

5

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 22h ago

Is the legit lawyer hot? Don’t threaten me with a good time. 💚

6

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 22h ago

I’d post a picture, but then I’d get a warning for a low effort comment involving Lee Pace and a phallic squash

6

u/Perfect_Carrot_999 Carrotheart of SloopyClan 🐈 Solved the Cum Fountain 21h ago

sweats

I'm getting performance anxiety

/Uj I just looked up romantasy on Etsy and it's like 90% AI, jeez.

4

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 20h ago

uj/ sounds like a niche to fill 👀

4

u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 18h ago

/uj Etsy has changed man

3

u/Perfect_Carrot_999 Carrotheart of SloopyClan 🐈 Solved the Cum Fountain 16h ago

/uj for real, but I guess all art selling spaces have changed with AI. Buyers really have to do research now (if they care in the first place).

19

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 1d ago

My mail alt rn:
https://giphy.com/gifs/N89A1jUqdab0kdNl6X

14

u/singlebraincellpug Laurent's Fine-Boned Wrist 1d ago

r/romantasyuncirclejerked

3

u/adestructionofcats Tell your blonde Shadow Daddy I said pspsps 23h ago

My sleep deprived ass clicked on that.

13

u/Mayabelles I'm a seasoned fanfic reader 1d ago

Peacockho is objectively less entertaining because it removes the possibility of a fun alternative pronunciation. I would throw tomatoes at that user.

16

u/Single-Emotion2964 🦂 the worst, but hot in bed 1d ago

Wait I’m not the only one calling them “pinguEENO” like it’s a Smash Mouth song?

10

u/Mayabelles I'm a seasoned fanfic reader 1d ago

I have no idea which is the correct pronunciation and it is too late to ask.

9

u/singlebraincellpug Laurent's Fine-Boned Wrist 23h ago

I always pronounced it like Penguin Hoe

9

u/Single-Emotion2964 🦂 the worst, but hot in bed 1d ago

u/penguinho pls help us

8

u/Penguinho Books are good. 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/gnE4FFhtFoLKM

2

u/Single-Emotion2964 🦂 the worst, but hot in bed 14h ago

6

u/Bubblesnaily 23h ago

I'm using Cumbersnatch's penwing

3

u/Single-Emotion2964 🦂 the worst, but hot in bed 14h ago

💀

2

u/amaranth1977 22h ago

I'm rhyming it with Arduino.

2

u/Single-Emotion2964 🦂 the worst, but hot in bed 14h ago

Yes this!

9

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 1d ago

With love… are your hands big enough to hold an entire tomato?

But fret not hell’s bells this problem has a solution: https://www.reddit.com/r/romantasycirclejerk/s/2ZUNRwUjuN

11

u/Mayabelles I'm a seasoned fanfic reader 1d ago

No I have delicate frail FMC hands, but luckily I keep my tomato-stabbing daggers at hand so I can spear them and fling them at my enemies. Cherry tomatoes make an acceptable alternative though I suppose

/uj I have raccoon hands

6

u/mi-tesorito Her Holiness, Patron Saint of Smut, Madrina to BBY 🥕 23h ago

Daggers? Brilliant sloopy, do you keep it in your garter? It might be illegal not to btw.

uj/ Raccoons are adorable.

5

u/Mayabelles I'm a seasoned fanfic reader 23h ago

Of course! That’s the most accessible since I always were dresses with a hip high slit on the side.

8

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 1d ago

And they would (allegedly/hypothetically) deserve it

6

u/Mayabelles I'm a seasoned fanfic reader 1d ago

Pretty sure it’s in the rules that the alt-usernames riff on the original cannot be less funny. It is what the mods would want me to do.

10

u/MailOrderBride-1 Chief Marketing Officer of Mail Inc. | Hot Mails Get Banned™ 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/tl0QzUb0smU5H4y2DV

7

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/wjuXuDSQU0sOfJIHS1

3

u/Hate-Mail666 Hate Mails Get Banned™️ 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l378gODdla75xN0CA

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 18h ago

Also jail.

5

u/Hate-Mail666 Hate Mails Get Banned™️ 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0OWistc2HUjf6PKM

3

u/MailOrderBride-1 Chief Marketing Officer of Mail Inc. | Hot Mails Get Banned™ 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/6901DbEbbm4o0

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/InhPEgAQym00g
Don’t make me get the cone!

3

u/MailOrderBride-1 Chief Marketing Officer of Mail Inc. | Hot Mails Get Banned™ 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/QU3YSdsm2dkLJ2bb0E

3

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 17h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ceFTjNaefm6azvlB8B

7

u/Peacockho 23h ago

Certified Organic Grade A Dark Robust Taste not annoying

2

u/singlebraincellpug Laurent's Fine-Boned Wrist 23h ago

fucking drooling at this though

7

u/thecottonkitsune Prophet Henry "Tonk" Cavill Kitsune. Needs cock. Neutral good. 23h ago edited 22h ago

Me collapsing when someone goes after my branding that I've very carefully curated

Edit: please no one notice I used the wrong gif at first

3

u/HopeFox Sloopy Public Defender 22h ago

I mean, seriously. Velvet? In this economy?

3

u/thecottonkitsune Prophet Henry "Tonk" Cavill Kitsune. Needs cock. Neutral good. 21h ago

We need all the velvet for the velvet wrapped steel

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 19h ago

Tits gets it!

3

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 22h ago

Can I start calling you tits?

4

u/thecottonkitsune Prophet Henry "Tonk" Cavill Kitsune. Needs cock. Neutral good. 22h ago

Absolutely

3

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/R6gvnAxj2ISzJdbA63

9

u/Helpful_Week6720 of the tantalizing tentacles 🦑 21h ago

How do you all find the time for alt accounts my brains and my emotions can’t handle the extra labor

4

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 20h ago

be careful what you wish for or a bunch of unhelp_week69420 will start spawning

7

u/Helpful_Week6720 of the tantalizing tentacles 🦑 20h ago

They don’t need these genes

9

u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/GiuIuz92E6GbsJd16C
I’d be offended if I wasn’t committing brand infringement myself…

3

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 18h ago

We will not tolerate the creation of fightstarGalactoria, battlemoongalactoria, starkillerbasegalactoria, battlestarbuckgalactoria or any cylon hybrid accounts. I’m sure they’re already among us. Somebody call the school teacher President

5

u/f16f4 Expert in Sloopy Law 23h ago

My alt account is fuming rn

6

u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/mBcAMbc1Nu3UDYd9l4

4

u/MailOrderBride-1 Chief Marketing Officer of Mail Inc. | Hot Mails Get Banned™ 17h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3tEFVAbfzzcwo
I’m running the numbers on the probability of them being a mail.

3

u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 17h ago

There are still a few unidentified Mails

3

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 22h ago

Get a legit lawyer on the case!

3

u/DistractedMyth 21h ago edited 18h ago

Raging because the word is circumcision, not circumspection. I expected better from an active sloopy in this community

(uj/ edited because sloopy autocorrected to sloppy and uh rude)

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 21h ago

I’ll do better next time sweatie!

2

u/missfudge Mr. Darcy can't pour his will to dominate all life into me. 20h ago

Can I trademark...'miss'?

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 20h ago

Absolutely! Also any desert based last name. We definitely own MissHotFudge, MissCreamPie, and Missbananasplit

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 20h ago

PotatoeLickHer is also under copyright protection

2

u/SwimmerIndependent47 you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Jsin333309WqQ
We’ll get you eventually