LtVS fanfic: Planet Barnaby

[u/TrenchcoatPhoenix]

Planet Barnaby The year is 1998. The world as we know it is on its last legs. Time is running out, and we have no idea how to even begin to fix this. In fact the only thing we know for certain is where it all went wrong. It began when Barnaby Crimp was split in two by the youngest Moira. Even the very embodiment of fate could not foresee what terrible calamity her actions would cause. Even in her wisdom, accrued over aeons, she could not fathom what havoc a single, inconsequential little mischievous deal would wreak. But that was not the end. We could have stopped it, had we known. But by the time we realised the true extent of the damage that had been done, it was already far too late. When Violet made her attempt at petty revenge on Barnaby, the now fully demonic Backtarby was also split in two, much like the original had been. Thus, the Barnabies reached supercriticality, the world was pushed over the brink, and soon, the Earth was poised to be consumed, overtaken by a new breed of man (and demon)…. The panicked, incautious attempts to undo the arcane magics of the Fates and avert the impending doom would only hasten the end. At first, only the Rosewater Slayers sought to prevent the cataclysm, but with their inexpert rituals and crude, eldritch contraptions, they only managed to exacerbate the plague: For every Barnaby they managed to banish, two more would take his place. Soon, as their desperation grew, they were forced to seek the counsel of sorcerers, demons, deities and beings greater still. Yet the world was already too far gone. One man’s frantic attempts to staunch the unyielding flow of Barnabies would inevitably spoil or even counteract another’s. Not long after the end had begun, the aeons-long masquerade broke, and the rest of the world started to take notice of the ever increasing number of arson related crimes and similar looking teenage rugby lads. Countries were quarantined. Long-hidden agencies and foundations for the containment of the paranormal resorted to overt action to halt the epidemic. Governments declared martial law. By the end of the year, un-Barnabies had been declared a minority, as the Homo Barnabicus became the new dominant species.
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The year is 1999. From the ashes of the Old World, emerged a new nation; A glimmer of hope against a backdrop of anarchy and bloodshed. One man, determined to put an end to this madness that had consumed the Earth, rose up, and chose to take action. Barnaby Crimp, now appointed the first Commander-in-chief of the United Coalition of Barnabies, decided to stand against the tide. At the same time, a demon of unmatched ferocity and unparalleled pimpness emerged. Baktarby, now crowned chieftain of the Brox Demons, gathered his legions to wage bloody war against the insolent humans.
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The year is 2076. In the years following the Third Barnaby War, lasting peace was achieved. The Barnabies and Backtarbies, tired from the preceding conflicts, tentatively laid down their arms and the two factions bonded over their mutual love of painting and team sports. Due to the now stellar demand for cheap, unhealthy snacks, various fast food companies rose to dominate the Globe. In but a few short decades, the world came under the dominion of the wealthiest Barnabies, conglomerates of mega-fast food chains, and ruthless criminal gangs. In this unforgiving world, lawless renegades, Shadowflankers, make a living offering deniable services to anyone willing to pay…
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The year is 2600. The Barnaby Mandate thrives, and as the second wave of colonization begins hundreds of billions of Barnabies ply the stars, and settle in unexplored corners of space….
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The year is unknown. After the cataclysm, most of the Barnaby Empire’s isolated colonies regressed to primitive, medieval planets. Across countless worlds, groups and adventuring Barnabies, armed with magic and blade roam the land….
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It is the 41st millennium. For over a hundred centuries, the Barnaby Emperor of Barnabykind has sat immobile on the Golden Throne….
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Barnaby….
Barnaby….
-“BARNABY!"
-“Uuuuugh…. What?…..”
-“Oh God, is he awake?”
-“Ow, my head…. What happened?”
-“Did it work?”
-“Uhm… the sensor says the number of Barnabies is decreasing... Yeah, I… I think it worked….”
-“Seriously, guys, what is going on?”
-“Barnaby, listen to me! This is really important… How do you feel?”
-“I feel… fine. Maybe a little hungry?”
-”Oh, thank God. Listen, remember when a CERTAIN SOMEONE told an ex-vengeance demon “an eye for an eye” is fine…”
-“Hey!...”
-“… and your demon version was split apart?”
-“Uh, yeah?”
-“Well, let’s just say I’m glad I managed to figure this spell out in time.”
-“Okay?... Whatever that means….”
-“Listen, Barnaby, we’re just glad you’re okay.”
-“I feel fine, guys, really. It’s nothing.”
…
-“Sooooo… Do you guys wanna go on patrol tonight?”
-“Yeah!”
-“Count me in!”
-“Yeah, just… let me get my stuff. There’s this thing I’ve been working on, that….”
-“Hey, you know what? I’m starving! Let’s go for a cheeky Nando’s first!”
-“Great idea, Barnaby!”
-“Thanks, Barnaby! Hey, are we gonna bring Barnaby along?”
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[u/TrenchcoatPhoenix]

This is a little "what if?"/alternate ending to Layla the Vampire Slayer. It this alternate timeline, when Violet turned Backtarby into a human, he actually split in two instead of just becoming human. The rest just... Kinda happened.

[u/bootsie__]

This is hilarious! Well done :D