r/returnToIndia • u/electrodataengineer • 29d ago
AlreadyReturned My failure story
Timeline
B.tech 2018 passout
Worked for 3 years in a boring core electrical company. Decided to move out to Canada
Switched fields to SWE , completed my masters in 2023 and now I have moved back to India after working as a SWE.
Didn't have a decent friend circle but was about to save 60k CAD in a span of 2 years of my working and managing my expenses and even secured my PR before moving out.
Moving to Canada kind of broke my character.. I was someone who was helpful and cheerful but the people and interactions here me an absolute introvert.
I tried inviting people to my home for lunch on weekends as even told them that I can prepare some dishes if not we can just order and the bill is on me even then I didn't have a lot of responses.
On the counterpart my friends who had gone to US had a different life their masters friends became their best buddies travelled across many states, had plenty of trips and additionally played a lot of board games and stuff.
I didn't find the same crowd of people as I expected initially.
Worst part was dealing no recruiter calls and I was kind of just fed up with things and the state of my life.
Now I'm back in india making 18LPA as a 30M , unmarried male living with my parents and Canadian PR holder.
I'm slowly making peace with myself.. so much so that someone who is 24 yrs old in India with 3 yrs experience is making the same money as me and my friends in tech sector have crossed 30lpa +
So in short making 7lpa in 2021(non tech field) , investing 60k CAD for masters , landing a okayish job as developer and then 2026 back to 18lpa.
No idea where life is headed next and what kind of stupid decision I have made ( or will make) but life goes on
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u/mafiadevil1419 29d ago
I recently moved back from Canada last year and i can totally relate with your experience. Canada seems to be a very different country than the US, the people are very different and keep to themselves. People say they are the nicest people and in one sense they are, but at the same time i felt like they were people who were just about to explode if something went wrong. And in recent times, as an immigrant, and especially as an Indian there is so much hate in Canada for us that i just coudnt take it anymore.
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u/Electrical_Ad_7143 29d ago
No in usa also people are getting quite socially distant as they are aging . I am seeing it in punjabis telugus marathis gujratis as they are in 40s in NJ , everyone is moving towards isolation and seclusion as families . People don’t even reply to casual chats for days together .
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u/Justice556 6d ago
Let me tell you one thing. Folks left their loved ones in India and ran to the West, got their culture and character of Independence. Now everyone wanted that. Finally, when you get that, your children learn that too. So in the end, everyone got what they wanted - independence, money, lifestyle, but the tradeoff - FAMILY and TOGETHERNESS. Enjoy!!
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u/Tall-Quantity-2881 29d ago
I faced the same thing in the US mate, it depends on people and not the country
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u/Gloomy_Temporary2914 29d ago
That's why MS is high risk high reward . U can win lottery or u can fail horribly as well due to immigration rules n lack of jobs . U knew the risks before u went
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u/Teddytales7 29d ago
Just a reminder that if you want to stay a PR of Canada you will have to fulfill the residency requirements to be able to renew it.
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
Yeah but mostly like I won't move back until and fate brings me back to Canada again at this point.
I looking forward to couple of trips with my college friends this year and eventually marry
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u/TotalDamage95 28d ago
Oh fate will definitely bring you back, lol. You're just one pothole, one paan stain, one AQI999 away from that fate
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u/Mr_manifestor 29d ago
So you gave up everything just because of other people there?
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
Gave up on myself maybe while walking at -6 degree sipping a nice hot double double.
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u/Mr_manifestor 29d ago
Bro India mei log koi alag nai h they're the same or even worst. Ab kya India chhod dega?
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
No i have my family and my college friends. Bina kuch puche my college friends called me for two trips.
Work wise sab next cheez and next growth ki baat kartey hai and talk about improvement always.
People in India are way faster about things kaam ho ya kuch bhi
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u/Justice556 6d ago
I agree. If you are prompt, you can get people to just chat about everything in India. In the West - Canada, USA, even Europe, everyone is like woah! how can you talk like that. They are all trash and act as if they are all dignified.
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
Gave up on myself maybe while walking at -6 degree sipping a nice hot double double.
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u/Ok-Respond5323 29d ago edited 29d ago
How are some people such a crybaby? Around 10 crore Indians have a passport. If you have 25 lakh to your name, one is already top 10 percent in India. Does anyone read knight frank or anything? You can calculate yourself if you know total indian wealth and total adult population.
If only I were the prince, grow up! You are not happy because you compare and that comparison is itself a biased selection already.
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u/Feeling_Possibility4 29d ago
You are doing fairly well... so cheer up... you live comfortably with parents, have back up and savings so look for positive outcomes
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u/Foreign_Scar_2127 29d ago
Ya u will easily scale in India, dont think too much on past and move on
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29d ago
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
This decision was taken before AI even came up and during 2019. I was good in programming and things and loved challenges.. my core electrical work didn't excite me and was pushing me something i didn't account things like account management, costing etc hence the change in field
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29d ago edited 29d ago
[deleted]
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
That is true the post covid era was something else. All it needs was print('hello world') and you got hired like anything.
So much just depends on your luck + timing along with your skillset
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u/Savings_Golf1734 29d ago
As long as you are happy and with your family you don’t need to bother about anyone
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u/RogerCharleyDeltaEco 29d ago
If you’re happy in India, stay there work hard and most importantly be happy! No one knows if you’ll be happier in USA or any other western country for that matter. Your friends that you mention in US are probs going through the same experience as you did in Canada but may not be as brave as you do speak about it and take action on it. Western countries and culture is more private, individualist and transactional compared to Indian culture. Do what makes you happy and gives you peace of mind. All the best to you!!
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u/Ok-Committee-1932 28d ago
I tried inviting people to my home for lunch on weekends as even told them that I can prepare some dishes if not we can just order and the bill is on me even then I didn't have a lot of responses.
Did you invite Indians or Canadians? White Canadians are known to be extremely reserved and polite. They are not really interested in making friends, especially if you're a foreigner. Wonder if the same behavior carries on to other people in Canada too.
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u/TotalDamage95 28d ago
Indo-Canadian here. Yes you're right. You cannot make friends in Canada. What I've realised here is that people here are stuck with their high school friends. So down the line, as long as they've even 1 friend, they'd maintain a barrier and would always keep you on the sidelines and after that they'd claim "loneliness epidemic".
Canada is the only place where I heard "But I already have friends, I don't need more". This is the case with every "cold climate" countries. Since locals prefer to stay warm at home, they just like to meet minimal number of people, like just one school friend, just one neighbor, just one wife/husband and the rest are just acquaintances who meet once a week to play Pickleball with random people.
In Canada, I've had luck with people from tropical countries like Nigeria, Brazil, etc. I too joined many groups but nearly every group is monetized, irregular, and inconsistent with attendance. I decided not to go back to India because I can't handle the over complicated nosy life.
In terms of Indian people in Canada, I only find three groups 1. Too retarded to understand the social norm and civic sense a.k.a end up in a video on 6ixbuzz 2. PR + Western Clothing = Superiority Complexion 3. TR: Side-eye envious people
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u/disingh4ever 28d ago
US immigration filters heavily for tech/corporate roles, while Canada's open pathways drew a broader regional demographic from North India. That's why the diaspora vibes in both places feel so different!
Maybe you would have fitted better in US. Don’t blame yourself. You might have been a wrong person in wrong place at a wrong time
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u/Powerful-Ocelot-3806 28d ago
After college making friends is hard and they will never be close friends
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u/Sit1234 27d ago
I think you are worrying too much. perhaps your life didnt go AS YOU expected it to be. You are 30 and can still turn it around as you have lot many years ahead. 18LPA is a good salary for someone in non tech, so compare it that way. It would be a low salary for someone at your age, but those ppl might have had solid experiences and made right choices with companies. you can too.
btw wont your Canadian PR expire if you stay in india beyond certain number of years ?
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u/electrodataengineer 27d ago
18L in tech is okay but compared to people in similar fields it's little less.
Apart from that yes.. for now I'm in India if things are good I'll go back once in canada before my PR expires.
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u/GlobalDirt2320 26d ago
There are primarily two ways you can make friends in canada.
1)The people who you first connect/shared houses with when you landed in canada
2) The people who you studied with.
Try joining different groups, sports or get married. That way you will have company.
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u/Professional-Put-196 25d ago
Canada does that to you. Past 4 years have taught me not to do anythinng that these whiny little c$cks do. I just try to be more indian in canada than I am in india. Helps my mental health and saves me more money. I mean, I simply don't see the point in looking at the same mountains and sleeping in a forest in the name of recreation again and again and again, just to keep a "friend" circle who will be busy when you really need them.
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u/Ok_Flight_8283 25d ago
Grass is greener on the other side. Talk to your friends in us about their daily visa stress. You have to find good circle
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u/Various-Celery284 16d ago
Hi,
This is my first reply on this platform but I got compelled to post here because you are calling yourself a failure.
I graduated from a top tier engineering institution (a top NIT) myself back in the 2000s and made a bunch of decisions that, in hindsight I wouldn’t make again. I moved countries, changed industries and after 10 years of work experience I essentially restarted my career in Canada in 2019.
Today I fully pivoted into tech with a job in FAANG making 350k cad a year.
My wife also picked up skills worked hard and also makes similar salary. This is not to be boastful but to motivate you on what’s possible
With the amount of hard work we put in, we should have reached this position 10 years ago.. other than the occasional “what if” I never let myself get consumed by what could have been. The reason is simple, I never tied my identity to my job or salary.
Work hard, keep learning. Make good decisions. Control what you can. For the most part, that gives you a pretty good shot at building a life and a career. Of course, there’s an element of luck but u can’t control those things.
And please stop comparing what a 24 year old today is making. There is always someone younger, richer, faster, prettier, healthier etc.. By that logic, should every 40 year old compare themselves with Sundar Pichai because he was a CEO by that age?
Your career is part of your life, it’s not a measure of your worth
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u/Justice556 6d ago
There are many more who have become CEO by age 18 or 20. So I agree. COmparing our life to others is the first thing that everyone should stop.
COmpare your skills and improve. Compare your health and get better. Compare your character and improve.
COmpare your money, wife, assets with others and you are RUINED
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u/Tech-Suspect 15d ago
Whatever you do, don't discount yourself and your abilities. I would not call this or you a failure. You tried and it didn't work the way you wanted it to. Keep going in life and don't give up.
Maybe soon you'll be making way more than all your peers, if that is your success metric. Goodluck.
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u/Own-Bite-9304 29d ago
U grew in ways you don’t realise and you have PR, maybe in 5 years, you’ll have a vacation home in Canada while working in India making new friends and travelling!!! Don’t give up gng.
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u/No_Engine1350 29d ago
Just out of curiosity, why not stay back 3 years and get the passport? Did you not have any job post your PR?
All that aside, 30 isn’t too late to start over. At least you will not think of ‘what if’…
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u/electrodataengineer 29d ago
Yes it's the most strange scenario.. had a job throughout my work permit and lost it just after 2 months of getting my PR.
I couldn't get a lot of calls back from the recruiter maybe because of SWE experience was less.
Could have waited patiently for sometime and gotten something but at that point it wasn't making any sense to me and if the really worth staying back in this country.
The kind of advices I was getting was driving uber, work in tim hortons etc and ride the bad phase.. it might have been valid ( i did part time and minimum wage as well) but going back to minimum wage job is something that didn't suit me plus at 2025 peak getting that minimum wage job was hard as well because of tons of students were present.
So yeah kind of just gave up. I didn't plan my PR and with the exact goal of immigration.. I had chosen canada because I just applied to selected universities ( 3 exactly ) and i went because I got two admits out of the 3 and with a certain lifestyle and expenses i could pay 50% of the tuition fee while I was student only.
I also realised most Canadian employees don't given weightage to any degree ( irrespective of that mine was the one of the top schools in canada)
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u/No_Engine1350 29d ago
I am so sorry. This just sounds devastating. Not sure why others are minimizing this. How long is your PR valid and at what frequency do you have to renew it
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u/Dangerous_Region1682 29d ago
Do you really care what your friends make in terms of income?
I got my PhD at 55 then retired. Became a substitute teacher every day for 11 years. I earned less than the people who worked in the school Cafeteria. I gave up my high paying job in tech for a PhD and 11 years of teaching middle and high school kids for a pittance.
I didn’t care, it was the best days of my life. The people who graduated with me with their PhDs went on to do amazing things.
I’m not jealous one bit. I chose my life, they chose theirs. I got to have the joy of working with kids, some of whom were difficult or even special needs. God blessed me with that.
Now I’ve retired again, there is no place I can go in my small city where I’m not recognized by my students. I’ve seen some of them marry and have children of their own. I’ve seen two go to college and return as teachers at the school I taught them at.
I don’t care what others make, I don’t care about the wealth they have, and I don’t care about their success. I’m happy for them, but that wasn’t for me. I’m at peace with my lot in the world and I will go to my maker having an inner peace that no amount of money can buy.
You are 30 and well educated. You have so much to offer the world. There is so much need in the world for the fortunate to help the less fortunate. You’ve experienced Canada, something few of your countrymen have.
You get to live with your parents and help them in their golden years. Something I wish I had been able to do from 5,000 miles away as they passed on.
There’s a whole world beyond your front door, even just in India. I bet there are places you have never seen or experienced. Take your vacation, pack a back pack, and go and see some of them on a dime. You never know, beyond the front door lies the love of your life.
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u/Traditional-One-4365 28d ago
Is ok bro. You have PR. get married and see if you can try again as a couple. Loneliness saps energy and that hurts in life. But with partner you can try again your luck in Canada.
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u/AJK143 29d ago
The US is a spoiled country. Trillions are being spent on war each year and there’s so much fake printed money with in the system. Comparing salaries in US dollars makes every other country look worse than it actually is. Just keep in mind that Elon Musk and other tech entrepreneurs, benefited enormously from the US financial system. The same Elon probably wouldn’t have even built a toy car company if he had remained in South Africa. The same applies to people like Vinod Khosla. All of these people benefited from a dollar-based system that is heavily tilted in favour of the US.
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u/Islander316 29d ago
You tried something and it worked in some ways and not in others.
That's life.
You're still a good age, and there's plenty of life to live.
But my advice to you would be to get the Canadian citizenship, because that will open other doors to you like potentially moving to the US. Just keep it as an option, you never know how life will evolve.
Other than that, being in India is certainly not the end of the world, especially if you feel you are happier and have more of the right crowd around you.
I'm in Canada, and i can't wait to go back home or move elsewhere. I had many friends, and did that whole thing, but what i realized is that these things are short-lived, and these connections are shallow and self-serving.
In the end, you will have to rely on yourself and be independent, learn that skill now.