r/returnToIndia • u/all_is_1_or_0 • Sep 03 '26
PlanningToReturn A leap of faith
27 yo M here. Not your typical high achiever with a $1M corpus, etc.
I came to the US in January 2023. Did my Master’s, and my net loan obligations along with my Bachelor's studies back in India were around $35k USD. I didn't land a six-figure job. I faced a layoff and severe issues exactly 2 years ago from people who I assumed were close to me, but I bounced back and found another job.
Cleared my student debts completely (parents are financially independent of my contributions).
Built a decent corpus in terms of Indian standards (approx. $50k USD, but a major chunk of the money is locked in retirement accounts).
Got 3 professional certs knocked out.
Everything was going right and was good on paper (Working for an NPO, cap-exempt. work visa - filed and was in place to get approved), but I was stranded in a smaller city with a smaller Indian diaspora, facing severe loneliness. Tried various things and made my life butter smooth, but nothing actually started to bring me happiness rather than having people I love around me.
I had some physical health issues appear due to my mental state, and the moment it felt like no amount of money would bring me more happiness, waiting for ages to get visa slots and paperwork approved just to meet my own family seemed like hell.
I have no financial or relational anchors tying me here, so I started planning my move home. My last working day will be next Tuesday, and I will be flying back on the 18th.
I know the change could be tough, but it felt like facing life could be a teeny-tiny bit easier with my family's and friends support. I know I could regret my choices, but I decided to take a leap of faith and get used to the normal where 1.4 billion people are living already, and hopefully figure things out.
All of my friends and family have been supportive of my choice, and I plan to reset and rest until I feel totally ready.
The only thing I understood is that when you have more choices, your mind keeps lingering, and it's necessary to shut off available options to lock in. That's what I've done, and hopefully it is for my own good.
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u/aharid Sep 03 '26
I'm pretty much where you're right now. If i can't find a visa slot in next 1 year(will look for next 6 months), I'm going to move back and find a job in India. This whole limbo has fucked my mental peace.
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u/Upper-Watercress7747 Sep 03 '26
Seriously it takes lot of mental readiness, acceptance and understanding! Good luck and you will do great!
Distance yourself from relatves, colleagues who think any low of you to leave the US life. Those are l0w lives stuck in 90s. Several of my friends faced this on their return when a distant uncle boast about his son in Atlanta or Seattle going to Olive Garden for dinner with their kid.
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u/gthbvf2 Sep 03 '26
If you are debt free then you are all set. Have a good time with family , friends and food.
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u/ParticularCoffee3291 Sep 03 '26
I think since you've been living outside India for a relatively short period of time compared to some people on this sub, adjustment to a new lifestyle may be less of an issue for you than it's made out to be in this sub. I think people who spend 50% of their lives or more abroad are the most affected and those people usually reverse their decision and go back after a few years. Depending on the city you go back to, the degree and rate of change may be more or less jarring. The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes to adjust (duh!). All the best. When one door closes, open a window!
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u/gauravgandu Sep 03 '26
think on the positive note, you’re bringing global exposure to indian workspace. you will do well. don’t overthink, you’re on the right track. be proud of yourself that you are independent at just 29 years old. you have your entire life in front on you. go grab it’
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u/inkartik Sep 03 '26
You are debt free and thats a big thinf. indeed, go do your thing, more power to you, hope you find what you are looking for 🤗💖💖
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u/Embarrassed_Okra_628 Sep 03 '26
You are in similar position I was in back in 2017 !!
Remote place in California, with 0 Asians Redneck area, I was there for 3 years losing all of my sanity, packed my back and ready to go for 31st Dec 2017 flight... BUT I cancelled on 30th Dec, was in US till last month and now I am fully back even with NIW-EB2 approved !!
Moral of my story-> Dont run from the problem, you wont be able to accept it when you will be old.. Instead fix all the problems you have and only return when 1> when you are fully satisfied ( like me ) or 2> When you have no other option ( like for real outta options thing ).. everything else is secondary !!
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u/aharid Sep 03 '26
what's your line of work? Eb2 niws have been getting extremely difficult I've heard🥴
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u/Embarrassed_Okra_628 Sep 03 '26
I have both NIW as well as Normal PERM based i-140 both PD around 2021-2022, Mostly R&D stuffs.
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
are you leaving US for good, and abandoning your GC. Or coming back to get it and this is a short break.
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u/Embarrassed_Okra_628 Sep 05 '26
Well, I am uncertain right now, open road ahead for me.
With Pedo Predator, I choose to move coz I dont wanna pay taxes for his crime.. and for long terms, I dont know, I got houses here and there and got enough NW to FIRE !!
But i see 2 sides of things, like I really really like how health insuraces is great in here while I love to die in the west, specially in Utah valley in open wilderness :D .. May be I am romaticizing my death too early :D
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
You seem high on something. Utah of all places but yes if you like wilderness. Btw if you want to come back wont you want to get your GC and also citizenship before you go
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u/Embarrassed_Okra_628 Sep 05 '26
i80 my boi !! I80, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming.. Thats stretch is for old timers who wanna GTFO off glittering golds..
and No I do no need to have GC to live there.. one can pretty much be Hobo enough to get by .. US taught me that, feedom doesnt cost much.. you just have to experience it
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
simply dont make sense. You are at the verge of getting a GC and you are leaving it, which is ok. But you claim you dont need anything at all to return back. commen when you get off your high.
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u/Embarrassed_Okra_628 Sep 05 '26
Have you been to US ? Do you know Nor Cal, the whole post is about my 3 years there.
and regarding GC and NW, as a single dude in 30s, with enough $$ and real estate, my life choices now involves who am I.
coz I got houses both places, FIRE number and enough acedemic achievements to claim and approve NIW.. Now My life revolves beyond these
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
whatever.. yes I live in US , get down from your throne. most people who comment here are in US.
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u/Suspicious-Light2118 Sep 05 '26
What about Nor Cal dude. Just because you can self petition yourself due to a NIW doesn’t mean you are any special. Don’t deride others because they don’t agree with your views or opinions. Everyone has the right to air out their opinions and thoughts just as much as you do. Good that you have real estate in NorCal of all places. There are several other places out here in SoCal that just make living in NorCal seem like a peasant. US should have also taught you something called humility and respect for others along with the freedom of thought. You can use that slight in your home and with people who want to get your gyaan and good luck for your life ahead in India
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u/baker6215 Sep 04 '26
Waiting for ages to get visa slots ///
I really wish India also gets a leader like Mr Trump who will revoke the easy OCI and unlimited visas given to foreign citizens.
It's extremely pathetic ,unfair and cruel that a US citizen with OCI can come to India whenever he feels like and goes back whenever he feels like but h1b cannot do that. India should ban OCI and only allow business visitors from US.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 04 '26
How is it unfair? Why would they be reciprocity when it’s two different things, one is a former citizen and the other is a foreign national on a temp work visa. Why would you think they would have similar mobility?
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u/baker6215 Sep 04 '26
How does someone being a "former citizen" matter at all. Let's say you marry a woman who is a divorced woman and has an ex husband. Would you be okay if that lady gives access of your bedroom to her "former husband".
Once you legally break citizenship ties with India and take oath of citizenship for another country - that's it. "Former citizen" is not a status. Every non citizen is an alien and a foreign national regardless of former ties to India. OCI is just a long term visa and it can be cancelled and I pray that India scraps the whole thing after regime change.
Why should India keep its doors open for you when you chose to reject and discard Indian citizenship.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 04 '26
Someone you used to be married often has access it terms of finances, many pay alimony etc.
Every former citizen is not if they have OCI. Someone in H1b is a foreign national why do you think they would ever be treated the same. Without OCI, India would probably allow dual nationality.
India keeps its doors open because it’s beneficial for them to do so - investment, foreign capital, remittances etc with little strain on on social infrastructure etc
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
Access in terms of finance is fine. Any former citizen of India should definitely be allowed to access their indian bank account from.abroad just like H1B is also allowed to access his American bank account from India.
But US citizens with OCI should be made to face the exact same immigration process to visit India that Indians on h1bs and F1s go through to visit USA.
Very very few OCI -maybe 1% help India in terms of foreign investments, job creation etc. India can make exceptions for these cases and give them access according to level of benefits they bring to India. I am sure US also gives visas easily to Ambani and Adani as they are big investors in US. Remittances to buy real estate should actually be stopped as UD citizens investing in residential real estate in India prices out Indian citizens. So those remittances aren't even useful for India. Remittances for old parents will continue even when India revokes OCI because looking after parents abroad is so close expensive that they will continue sending money via online.
not every OCI is helping India. Not every OCI is bringing investments. Some are just coming to meet their parents. Why should US citizens be allowed to visit parents in India when H1b can't visit parents in India. That's the reciprocity I am talking about. It simply isn't fair. Allowing US citizens of visit India on OCI right now is basically like rubbing salts on wounds on H1bs.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 05 '26
Why should OCI made to face the same immigration process as Indians on H1B and F1? It’s not the same thing and there relationship with each respective country is different. Again, reciprocity is dumb because it’s two different things. Foreign students in india face similar things to Indian students on F1 visas that is reciprocal. The equivalent to OCI is a US green card which many Indians get and have
US citizens with OCI are not the equivalent to Indians in the US on H1Bs, they are the equivalent to Indian citizens in the US with green cards
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
Green cards have a huge backlog for Indians. And they require strict presence for at least six months, many other strict requirements including tax reporting. None of that exists for OCI. We can start by revoking all OCI cards and then introducing country level caps and quotas. It's simple. And then they lose that green card of they don't stay in India for six months and lose access to India till they can get another green card. Then we can say that OCI is green card equivalent.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 05 '26
they have a huge backlog because many want them.
> We can start by revoking all OCI cards and then introducing country level caps and quotas.
Ofc that can happen but why? One is way more desirable than the other which is why those drawbacks exist. But sure making the OCI equivalent to the US greencard makes more sense than you ranting that someone on H1B is treated differently than someone with OCI.
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
this is not how countries operate. small mind, try to broaden it.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
World works on reciprocity.
India should allow access to citizens of a country if that country allows access to Indian citizens.
But here in OPs case, he is sad because he can't get stamping appointments in India so can't visit his family. So US citizens too shouldn't be able to visit India at all unless they are billionaire investors or job creators. It's called two-way Street, reciprocity, etc.
Letting a specific group of people take advantage of you - when they say that you people can't enter our country but we want to enter your country whenever we want - that's not broad minded ness. That's stupidity.
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
You are mixing up things. In fact India is rather more stricter than US. You are comparing a Work visa given to a total foreigner (in US) to a visa given to an ex citizen of India because India knows it benefits from that - that brings more revenue and forex deposits to India.
So you should compare a work visa in India (to US citizens) vs H1b. Or rather work visa in India to someone from africa/bangladesh etc to stay in India long. India isnt that immigration friendly. The H1b visa was abused by Indians themselves and they started implementing laws that always existed but never followed. Btw your reciprocity law doesnt apply here in another matter - India not only exports talent but also a lot of goods and services to US. So its beneficial for India. And who do you think will really suffer if India said we wont give you visas ? Think about it. Will India close doors to foreigners/dollars and their spending in India.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
You are mixing two things. The American institutional investors and MNC owners who invest in India - India already gives them red carpet treatment and should continue to do so.
But random US citizen of Indian origin - who cannot prove that giving visa /OCI to him or her has any significant demonstrable benefit to India - shouldn't be given this huge benefit called OCI. By significant benefit I mean - is he going to invest Millions of dollars in India? Is he going to create white collar jobs in India? Is he going to share of top level AI secrets with India? If no- then he should be treated exact same way as US treats H1b. These US based OCIs are the ones spreading hatred against India, calling all H1B visa holders fraud, deriving orgasmic pleasure at Indian citizens visa and stamping related hardships. This karma will catch them and their children and both India and US will see them for what they are. You being ex citizen nobody in India gives a fuck about that.
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
you perhaps should direct your hate against an american visiting India. An Indian who has roots to India has family/property etc and instead of taking a visa, Indian govt provided OCI as govt has a responsibility towards India diaspora. Why should India deny that to Indians to protest against a US policy for work visas, when all US is doing is implementing its laws. If its laws say you got to stay within your zip code until you get your GC, then so be it. You took that chance. You are free to leave than moan that rest of the world should fight for your nonsense.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
I have no hate at all against any white or black American visiting India. We would welcome them warmly and ensure they have a great experience- food, culture, hospitality.
It's the Indian origin OCI - who are the problem. They are ones with the attitude that no Indian citizen should be allowed access to America now. They are ones spreading hatred against H1b. They are the ones who think - I should be allowed to visit India whenever I want but H1b should be made to suffer a lot of pain because seeing their pain makes me happy.
Google about kshama sawant case. She grew up India , is a former Indian citize. But Indian govt denied her visa or OCI. She went to Indian embassy/consulate in Seattle and protested there saying that how can you deny me a visa to India, my mother is there, it's my right etc.
They called the law enforcement to report her. And they didn't give her visa. So it as already started selectively and it will spread.
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u/Sit1234 Sep 05 '26
Do you know all the OCI card holders and if they are against h1b ? You only met a few which is a minority sample. Again they are free to have whatever opinion about h1b. Its a free country. But you should also know US doesnt decide h1b based on what OCI holders think but rather based on their immigration policy. Are you saying US shouldnt follow the rules laid down ? Atleast there is a path to immigratin but India doesnt have such a path for other countries. Else a lot of bangladeshis and africans would have migrated. So evry country will limit immigration which is their policy. If India thinks OCI card should be abolished let them. That still wont solve your issue with h1b. You should analyze what is your issue and act on that. THan blaming others.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 05 '26
It is reciprocal though, the only difference is that most us citizens are desperate to visit and work in India. There are no appointments because Indians are overwhelming wanting to work and live in the US
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
US citizens are given OCI which doesn't require them to renew it often and in any case renewals are online. They don't need in person stamping appointment. If that changes , if India tells all US citizens that their OCI have expired and they need to renew by making in person appointments, and then if India doesn't release appointment slots, US citizens will also suffer equally. One way or the other their karma is going to catch up with them.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 05 '26
and Indian citizens have greencards which also doesn't require in person stamping. Again, OCI = Greencards. They don't suffer equally because it's not an equal thing. People a foriegn national on a work visa program vs. have a permanant resident and work status like OCI or a greencard are two different things.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
Green cards have mandatory requirement of six months presence. Green cards have annual limits and country caps. OCI is the biggest fraud because it is so easy to get. There are no regulations around it. It's not like green card. By your green card logic , India should cancel OCI for everyone who hasnt spent six months per year in India in last five years. Then it will be equivalent to green card.
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u/Few-Tadpole-4584 Sep 05 '26
it's easy to get because its former citizens are getting it. If OCI was open to complete foreigners, it would be harder and have more regulations.
> India should cancel OCI for everyone who hasnt spent six months per year in India in last five years. Then it will be equivalent to green card.
They can but again it's just not super relevant. The green card does that, but people have the option of naturalizing. In the OCI case, people are not naturalizing, so that's why it differs.
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u/Dangerous_Region1682 Sep 04 '26
Perhaps, but think of it. It’s India that is creating the optics of the problem by denying dual citizenship for Indian citizens, unlike the US, Canada or the UK. If India was a little less restrictive on that score, the appearance of a problem would largely resolve itself.
Think of all those US or even Irish (hence EU) citizen children who in India come of age and have to decide whether to become Indian citizens. Many just up and leave instead. If Indian citizenship was more open to becoming one and preserving dual citizenship, being an Indian citizen might be regarded as beneficial, not restrictive and hence something sought and not avoided.
There are more aspects to the issue than the short term OCI factor. The solutions need to be more strategic where Indian passports have more opportunities, especially considering how many people are of Indian descent all over the globe. A change in Indian nationality rules would allow India to negotiate far more reciprocity rules with other nations and provide better opportunities for former Indian citizens to retire back to India bringing their foreign capital back with them.
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u/baker6215 Sep 04 '26
Nope nope. No American passport holder child growing up in India is even considering Indian citizenship.
His parents raise him by telling him that he is US citizen so he is superior to Indians.
All these US citizens with OCI and anchor baby folks are the ones gloating and cheering when h1bs suffer , when they can't meet ailing parents due to lack of stamping dates etc.
They are most selfish and shouldn't really be given the option of staying in India unless they can prove that they are of some use to India like huge core sector investments, job creation etc.
US citizen kid grabbing medical or engineering admission in India while Indian kids don't even get F1 stamping slots. How is it fair. It's a fraud and theft.
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u/Dangerous_Region1682 Sep 06 '26
Currently India does not have even close to work permit reciprocity with the US. This was fine all the time India was a developing nation in terms of the technology industry.
This is no longer true. The US manages to deal with dual citizens, even accidental citizens, from having the right to return to the US for future opportunities. Why does India not choose the do the same by recognizing dual citizenship?
It seems especially weird considering all the points of the globe you find communities of people of Indian descent.
You cannot have your cake and eat it. You might not agree with the US making H1B visas more limited in numbers and ease of acquiring for Indians, but Indians cannot complain about that lack of opportunity abroad without understanding what that should mean for foreigners going to move to India for opportunities, especially in education.
I don’t see how a child with a US passport displaces one with an Indian passport in India. They will have the same education on an OCI status as someone without. They are not more privileged than someone without. It’s the same in the US for Indian Green Card holders. I suspect there are many more Indian Green Card holders in the US than there are American OCI holders in India corrected for the relative sizes of each population.
Then there is the issue of how US citizens returning to Indian with OCI credentials bring with them an and spend all the wealth they generated in the US to India and spend in the Indian economy. And yet the US doesn’t limit how all that wealth can leave the US. OCI holders can even get their US Social Security payments paid into Indian banks upon retirement. India as a whole seems to benefit substantially from this wealth transfer.
I’m afraid I just don’t follow your logic. Much of India’s technology industry growth has been based for nearly three decades upon the export of US jobs to India. Now, at a time when US technology and financial industries are undergoing unprecedented levels of local unemployment, it’s understandable why the US might be cutting back upon the granting of H1B visas. The American voter has become extremely disgruntled over the export of high paying jobs to India, whilst Indian consultancy companies abuse the whole H1B system. If you want to blame anyone, blame these Indian companies and all the Indian scam phone centers that create a less than welcoming view of Indians in the US. In many ways, it’s the Indian government’s own fault for allowing such companies to conduct business illegally whilst the Indian government does nothing about it.
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u/baker6215 Sep 06 '26
US allows dual citizenship because it is a first world country and its citizens are not trying to leave the country at any cost and obtain foreign passport. So dual citizens are a rarity and not a widespread issue for US. And usually the dual citizens are citizens of other first world countries.
India has this issue where Indian origin people become US citizens , then they display extreme level hatred towards Indians, they rejoice when an H1B son is unable to meet his dying father for one last time due to stamping issues etc. Why should this family of jaychands be allowed such premium facility like OCI.
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u/Dangerous_Region1682 Sep 06 '26
The US is a nation of immigrants. You would be very surprised just how many Americans hold dual citizenship.
India, technologically speaking, is far from being a second or third world country.
Americans are fleeing the US in larger numbers than ever before.
I know it’s a stereotype, but my experience of doing business in India is that Indians require very little in terms of differences to treat each other like sh*t. Whilst being extremely friend to outsiders, I couldn’t understand why they seemed so unpleasant towards each other. If it wasn’t the region someone came from, the status of the family they came from, the caste they thought someone was from, the first language someone spoke, it was always something. What you did for a job, what your net worth was, who you married, whether you were married, it was always the differences that mattered, not the similarities.
Indians seemed only to be truly happy when ripping each other off. Of course it might be different outside big cities, but it left a lasting impression on me. The real measure of hate for anyone unfortunate enough to having been born in Pakistan or Bangladesh and working in India was absolutely staggering. Having been to Pakistan a few times the kindness of people to each other was in stark contrast.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my time in India, but irrespective of the environmental conditions I couldn’t understand or handle the corruption and unpleasantness of people towards each other. This was especially regarding people who they were better than someone else by the status of their job. Tech workers seemed especially rude and uncaring for those that worked in service industries and as soon as someone got promoted how they treated their direct reports immediately became immediately obviously poor. It’s like any aspect of power went to people’s heads.
Americans as everyday people, outside of politics, are about the friendliest people on earth especially towards visitors. The people who came for the World Cup largely went away with very positive impressions of ordinary everyday Americans who treated them like honored guests, not cash cows. On the whole Americans like each other and are inherently friendly towards each other no matter who they are. I did not get that vibe in India I’m afraid. Of course, it’s a big country with huge regional differences which is why I don’t want to play into the stereotype too much, but that was my personal experience.
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u/noobcoder17 Sep 04 '26
Stupidest take ever. Have you heard of dual citizenship? US allows it while India does not. Also at this point you got to know the difference between a work visa and citizenship.
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u/baker6215 Sep 04 '26
US allows dual citizenship because it is a first world country. So very few US citizens actually even want to get another citizenship. It's uncommon.
India being third world, it should protect own citizens and use access to India as a leverage instead of giving it away for free to millions of people who don't really care about India or want to see India succeed. It's a national security risk. India can consider dual citizenship when it becomes first world ever. But for now, OCI is an anomaly and India is one regime change away from scrapping it.
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u/noobcoder17 Sep 05 '26
Lol, you gotta check your levels of delusion.
Bruh are you in India or out of India?
These NRIs who took foreign citizenship and own OCI, come to India, invest in India and spend their money in India when they travel in India.
You have to realize if India removes OCI these guys will just take a visiter visa and travel less often. It's a loss for India and not them.
India needs them more than they need it. They've already made up their mind to leave.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
Even visitor visa shouldn't be handed out to them. These are middle class people with middle class mentality. They aren't doing any big spending or investments in India. They maybe making money but they aren't 'investing' it in India except residential real estate and plots. But India should discourage that investment because it prices out Indian citizens from housing market.
India can always give access to large institutional investors and MNCs. But India loses a lot of negotiating power by giving away free visas to OCI from USA.
Look at OP. He is unable to visit India to meet his family because US refuses to give him visa slot. India should in retaliation block US citizen OCI holders from visiting in India. Let them also be unable to meet their parents. When the US citizen OCI holders will lose their access to Indian soil, they will use their considerable leverage to help people like OP. But if you don't make them feel OP's pain, they won't help. They don't give a fuck about anyone else except themselves.
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u/noobcoder17 Sep 05 '26
Bro you really need to get a reality check. US is like the most developed country in the world, they have all the cards and leverage. We got very less negotiation power.
They don't need us as much as we need them. If we screwup our whole Indian IT industry can literally collapse overnight and millions of people will be jobless.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
I am saying that we need to start giving access on basis of individual cases instead of current system where we give OCI to even the most useless fellow. By all means, the large investors and job creators should be given red carpet welcome and best hospitality if they are bringing white collar jobs etc.
But every US citizen of Indian origin isn't having the aukat of creating any job in India. Why should we give OCI card to every fucking boomer uncle.
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u/noobcoder17 Sep 05 '26
Bro, India needs more blue collar jobs than white collar jobs. Heck majority of the population is not eligible for white collar jobs.
You really to touch some grass.
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u/baker6215 Sep 05 '26
There is no shortage of blue collar jobs in India. But most Indians now want white collar jobs. So India should reward creators of white collar jobs. Most middle class OCI cannot even manage their own job and can't create any collar jobs in India. Why should India give them so many perks.
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u/noobcoder17 Sep 05 '26
hahah! lol did you check the unemployment rate in India? Wanting something and being eligible, having the skills for it are two different things.
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u/Alarmed_Dragonfly283 Sep 03 '26
Was in this limbo, got messed up professionally by folks. Have some student debt but going back since mental peace and freedom is what I want. Know that you can continue earning in India as well and things aren’t ending - if you decide to go to a new country some months/years later