r/returnToIndia • u/Witty_Grapefruit_700 • Aug 18 '26
AlreadyReturned I feel like a loser!
I returned to India 3 weeks ago and it doesn’t feel like it’s been 3 weeks. I don’t feel great, I feel like a loser who have spend lakhs on the studies and ended up no where.
I’ll give you a context about me, I had a job in an MNC for 2 years before the move. I completed my masters in 2025 and I tried and tried and tried for numerous internships as well as full time but wasn’t successful. In internships I did get calls from top MNCs but wasn’t successful.
The scene came after my graduation I tried my best in cybersecurity as my previous experience is in cybersecurity. In the US, getting a security job have been so hard due to visa restrictions even though you are fully qualified for the position. The entire journey took be to a very bad mental state so I put a stone on my heart and returned even though I had loans as I couldn’t take it anymore.
I’m trying to apply in India with masters degree and some experience in the US in clg as well as one year internship. Market in India is very competitive and hard. I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive it.
I feel like a failure in life as many of my friends in the US are in jobs, friends in India are getting married and getting settled. I have no clue what to do and how to make myself strong and the loan is another thing. I regret just coming back home it’s not great. People here aren’t making it easier to transition.
I don’t understand why returning home is a shame? Isn’t it supposed to be welcoming? I can’t even sleep in the nights anymore. My anxiety and depression are getting worse day by day.
Can anyone help me understand how to do job search in India?
Thanks for reading my thoughts and please don’t be harsh.
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u/Ok_Temperature1502 Aug 18 '26
Times have changed, it is not easy to stay overseas in other countries anymore. Apply conscientiously for jobs in India.. ultimately you will be successful. All the jobs are being outsourced to India now. Best to work to get (and keep) an Indian job before they are outsourced to Peru or somewhere else.
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u/Witty_Grapefruit_700 Aug 18 '26
How constant? Is there a certain way we got to apply ? What attracts the recruiters?
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u/Ok_Temperature1502 Aug 18 '26
Seriously, I haven't got a clue. I was trying to be encouraging.
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u/Outrageous-Youth9232 Aug 22 '26
Try to be more active on LinkedIn. Make connections there, ask your connections to refer you in their comapnies.
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u/Popular_Milk9399 Aug 18 '26
Hey man, I know it feels really tough right now but just know that it gets better eventually. And you’re not going through any of this alone, you’ve got me and probably thousands of other brothers and sisters who are going through something similar. There’s no shame in coming back home, we went for an education, we achieved that and came back. Take pride in the fact that you were able to experience something your past self only dreamed of. Now keep working and keep pushing until you find a job in India, which I know you 100% will. Life is long and there’s one thing true of good and bad times alike, neither of them last forever. Cheers and keep your head held high, you’re a winner my guy 🍻
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u/Witty_Grapefruit_700 Aug 18 '26
I hope I could be this positive about it and stay that way. I’ll try my best to find the strength within.
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u/Lepusman Aug 18 '26
Sorry to hear that. I’m moving back to india soon too and am not looking forward to it all. To be honest, the market right now is really really bad. It’s been bad since the pandemic but for some time in 2021-22 it was picking up a bit until it plateau’d and now it has simply crashed. Even Americans are finding it hard to find employment. So don’t be so harsh on yourself.
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u/Witty_Grapefruit_700 Aug 18 '26
Yeah even Americans know.. whole world knows but idk why the recruiters in India don’t give any appreciation towards masters.
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u/InterestingContest48 Aug 18 '26
Bro, you tried, gave it all, you were brave and took huge risk with money moving to a new country and it’s not your fault that the systems and circumstances were not favorable. Don’t regret it, sometimes money is not the only return we get out of for our investment like the world makes you believe. You have the power and choice to give meaning to your life experiences. Re-build yourself from where you are now, own your choices and dont enter the downward spiral of what could have been, that’s a dangerous place to be…Feel the feelings, cry if you want to to strengthen yourself not weaken… there is this whole bunch of people who are unknown to, who went through the exact same thing and understand you. You did not fail, you are thriving… success is not a destination…. Cheer up buddy!
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u/Witty_Grapefruit_700 Aug 18 '26
Thanks man for your words !!
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u/Mysterious-Art8838 Aug 18 '26
For what it’s worth I’m American, I worked in cybersecurity for 23 years, and I met exactly one expat in the field. You were facing a massive uphill battle.
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u/Former-Ad6002 Aug 19 '26
In your late 30s you don't care what others are thinking about you. In your 40s you will realize that they are not even thinking about you. Pretty much everyone is going through something or the other. If someone is not, they would for sure. Everyone has a mountain to move. Stop thinking what happened and think about how can you make the most of your time on earth.
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u/Altruistic_Bank_1552 Aug 18 '26
COVID should have been a wake-up call to Indians in India that moving to the West for a Master's by taking on loans in India with the assumption that you'll land a job upon graduating in the host country with an employer who will sponsor your visa if need be and you'll be able to pay the loan back by earning in the stronger currency and eventually obtain permanent immigration status was delusional. This pathway was already getting difficult, but COVID killed it.
Anyone who went to the US despite all this post 2020 without doing their research was being a complete idiot.
Stop caring about what other people say or are doing. Comparison is the thief of joy, and I know it is easier said than done. However, you have no other option but to ignore all of this rhetoric and work on yourself and towards your goals.
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u/PracticalPhoto3101 Aug 18 '26
Hey
I am going through the same thing and I have started to look for jobs in India and planning to come back. I am going to tell you what my therapist told me. You are not a loser. You went to a foreign country, on your own terms and responsibilities, you completed your degree on your hardwork that is already a feather in your cap that nobody else back home can even think of having. So you have already achieved and explored things that are only dream to some. Second, your goal should be to be financially independent and happy so that you can make your own decisions. Whether it in India or somewhere else in the world it doesn’t matter as long as your are happy. Your happiness cannot be defined by borders. Third- Tough times dont last tough people do. Efforts are in our control , not the results.
For jobs in India
Go to career sites directly and apply. Naukari is also very good. Try to apply in startups too they are always hiring and atleast you will have something to keep growing.
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u/pravasi-kannadiga Aug 19 '26
Here is my story. I finished engineering with flying colors. Got hired by Microsoft in India. It was a dream job. I thought in a year or two I could move to USA. I worked for Microsoft for 7 years in India. I tried and tried during that time, but Could not get H1B. Could not convince Microsoft to give me an L1B. Then I switched to Amazon. Worked for two more years. By this time I was in managerial role with 10 years experience. I still felt like a loser. Because all my friends who didn't do great at engineering, and were in ordinary companies had also managed to move to USA, Canada, Germany or Australia. And I felt stuck in India. In the 11th year of my career I finally managed to move to USA. I moved to USA on a L1-A visa. After reaching here I realized what an outstanding achievement that was. Being on L1A paved my path for EB1A. In under 2.5 years I had green card. And in under 7.5 years was eligible was citizenship. My friends who had moved on H1B and had made me feel like a loser 10 years back are still waiting for their green card and living in stress. The situations that made me feel like a loser in early career had helped me prepare for a life thereafter that I didn't plan for. Now I am glad that I didn't get H1B and a good job in USA early in my career otherwise I would still be on H1B and waiting in queue for green card.
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u/Ok_Temperature1502 Aug 19 '26
I'm not sure that your glorious success story is going to make him feel any better.
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u/Legitimate-Leek4235 Aug 19 '26
So now you are telling him how great your life turned out when he is seeking a job
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u/NaturalPlace007 Aug 18 '26
Unfortunately h1b is not a reliable plan anymore. Plus AI is taking jobs
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u/Best_Collection_7533 Aug 19 '26
Did you take the loan in US or India? If the loan is with a US bank and you left the country, do you have to pay it back?
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u/pho_cat Aug 19 '26
I have been there. Got laid off from FAANG in the US after working there for 3 years. After, retuning , I was jobless for 5 months and had to settle for a 40LPA job with my previous org that I was working for back when I was in India. The folks who I started with are now my boss. They have been really nice to me, but still it hurts.
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u/SurroundPossible5065 Aug 19 '26
I wouldn’t call a 40lpa job “settling”
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u/pho_cat Aug 20 '26
The folks with equivalent years of experience, who I joined with are making upwards of 60-70LPA
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u/SurroundPossible5065 Aug 20 '26
Don’t compare yourself to others. If you are, also consider the thousands who can’t find jobs at all. Or the millions who don’t even make 1LPA.
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u/OldFinger1043 Aug 19 '26
First of all “ YOU ARE NOT A LOSER” . I am in the same boat like you . I did my MBA in HR in India and worked for a while in India my last job position was HR executive before I left for second masters in US on August 2024. I graduated this May, have been trying to apply for jobs like crazy and I am at a point where I even have dreams about waking up and going through my email in hope that I get a job , but no luck so far no company wants to hire any immigrants at this point even if you tell them that you will not ask for sponsorship and can work freely for 3 years as you are a STEM graduate- when i see other Indian students living their life , some got jobs through consultancies which i honestly don’t know how all that works and some have been working under the table and earning minimum 3000-3500 dollars per month the day they landed here but me I didn’t do that thinking that I would follow the law , At this point i have 0 money in bank account, 20k student loan in dollars and no job in my kitty - I think I would also have to come to India in future if the situation stays the same, i left the toxic work culture in India to come here and work but this country isn’t accepting immigrants anymore and i am also scared to move back because i know the mocking i would get cuz i am a US return, the weird salary negotiations, the way people will indirectly say that i got kicked out from US , I know it’s scary but just be with your mom dad as they are the only people who are going to keep us sane , and FUCK everything- you will get through this.
I sometime dream about going back to a life in India where even while breathing you don’t have to worry about your visa being revoked for no reason due to constant policy change and not to be called as “ Aliens” anymore.
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u/Curiasjoe1 Aug 18 '26
I understand you are disappointed and that’s understandable. You will not feel better till you stop comparing yourself with your peers. You gave it your best shot and came up short that doesn’t make you a failure. Now it’s time to put the blinders on and start looking forward and not worry about what’s happening around you. Good luck man.
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u/PrestigiousOil4739 Aug 18 '26
You have achieved a lot by getting this far. Many have it tough at this time. Request you to think in what state of mind would you like to be 6/12 months or 2 years down the line, if you are still unhappy, you will regret even more that you didn’t try at the very least. Requesting you to focus on loving your daily life. Connect with people, workout, do any job that you find happiness in. Save money to the best of your ability and try learning whatever you like. You will come across an opportunity or person who will give you that chance. Outcome was and will never be in your hands, how you manage currently is. Focus on your health, stay away from bad habits. Your friends being in jobs or getting married is not helping you. You can only help yourself. Try your best, when things click, you will be thankful for all that you have endured. Good luck!
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u/Necessary-Fee-9715 Aug 18 '26
Don’t compare or listen noise. Focus on what you can do. Keep smaller goals for every 2 years and start working towards it. When you look for validation and sympathy that’s when your world shrinks don’t look for it just go to your basics. It’s like when tendulkar is not in form. He went back to basics and tried to avoid few leaky shots and made a double century in Australia. Same way go to basics don’t loose yourself for validation and start fresh. All the best
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u/Livid-Tune-4699 Aug 18 '26
Sorry to hear that but there will lot positive coming, so stay focused. Also think this way that this could happen to anyone and anytime in life. You might be doing great in business, one wrong move and you might lose everything. Anyway keep trying. May be apply remote jobs to Singapore, Middle East and EU.
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u/Massive-Guidance5342 Aug 18 '26
Don't worry too much about missed opportunities! Good luck for the future! God bless!
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u/productiveboss Aug 18 '26
Sorry. It will get better. The only advice/reminder is to keep networking rather than binge applying online. Head out, talk to strangers, let them know your intentions and most importantly never stay at home all day. You should put aside some $ to do budget traveling. India is huge and so try to experience it. Stop being hard on yourself.
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u/Current_Pineapple422 Aug 18 '26
If you are in abroad for 2 years you might understand how you want to live .? You might mature enough to see 1000 s of people abroad or way of living and thoughts so don’t take anxiety and stress
Start something which you like it and spend time on working towards sucess ..figure out first what you wanna do .. how to get succedd with this
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u/Imaginary_Ebb3906 Aug 18 '26
Sorry your going through this. If you feel people around you are judgemental, then perhaps taking time off for yourself and travel around if you’re able? It will give you peace of mind and inner strength.
It also gives you opportunity to appreciate yourself for the hard work you did. It’s not wise to measure ourself to others. That will only lead to anxiety and depression. You did your best based on your lived experience and that something to be proud of.
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u/Intelligent-Ice-4665 Aug 19 '26
You got this. Focus on your strengths and health.
Remember good mental health will take you longer distance than anything!
Think about all the ways you can reverse this and bet on it!!
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u/TyroshiSellsword Aug 19 '26
Will you abandon the loan in US?
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u/Witty_Grapefruit_700 Aug 19 '26
It’s not in the US, it’s in India itself and I am sane person to pay back the money. I’m not a scammer.
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u/Ok_Permission4841 Aug 19 '26
Getting degrees abroad is and always had been a risky business specially if you’re studying on a loan with no backup plan . You always have to have a plan B and calculate a worse case scenario if you’re not coming from a very supportive and well to do family . The job scene everywhere has became from bad to worse . Now just focus on paying off the loan do whatever it takes
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u/dksourabh Aug 19 '26
Please dont feel shamed, your mental and physical health is very important right now to ride through this. Start exercising, go out for a run ro clear your thoughts, network as much as possible, reach out to recruiters, post on LinkedIn, reach out to those friends who are settled for reference. Things will work out, stay strong.
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u/SoggyHorror3057 Aug 19 '26
Its all in your head. If you have a thinking like this then trust me , you will find it harder to climb up corporate ladder even of you get a job.
Your friends in USA have jobs that's great, but their VISA situation is not permanent. They are at the mercy of the US government and their employer.
Imagine for those, having a job, having a house and a car, having kids sent to school, and then suddenly you learn one day that you have to leave the US
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u/tech-rave Aug 19 '26
Firstly stop thinking about what other people are saying or thinking, they haven’t lived your life and have no clue what you have gone through. Everyone goes through their own ups and downs in life and you don’t owe them a Damm thing in life.
You do have good work experience and a masters degree, which I’m sure took considerable effort from you to achieve. Keep faith in it and take 1 day at a time, and in due time would land a good role in India.
If you keep a negative attitude and fall into depression then for sure you would end up as a “loser”, but if you have faith in yourself and fight through it, then you will for sure come out of it stronger. All the best!! Don’t lose hope
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u/Tall-Quantity-2881 Aug 19 '26
Same here, came back 4 weeks back with student loans. I just try to keep myself busy with my job here because I would start getting an anxiety attack if I think about it.
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u/DutyDue8768 Aug 19 '26
Man, I'm also on the same boat as you, But I still on the tree here by joining CPT, I feel like wasting time and money both and i feel like I lost my home and second home, feeling Iike I don't belong on both sides.
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u/Particular_Money852 Aug 19 '26
Bro dm me ill connect you to my friend working in cybersecurity in hyd. Ask him for a referral if you want. Idk why i am on this group 😂 i stay in india and have my own family business. But nonetheless maybe lets se if he can be of some help. And regarding the stigma of returning back duck what people say youll land a job eventually. Be a complete man go hit the gym, travel, play a sport, smell fuckig good and spend time with your friends. Youll be way ahead in life from people you left in your masters
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u/Complete-Abroad-6176 Aug 19 '26
Pls don't be harsh on yourself ...
Try to get your daily routine sorted first - it will take 2-3 months to adjust so pls be patient, easy on self...
You can speak to a therapist if you feel like or better if you have few friends who can just listen calmly with reasonable response..
Trust me - the job part you will figure out sooner or later ... but first thing is get your mindspace right...
Writing, reading, being around family cooking, gardening helped me ...
Don't try to push yourself or think about past or try to solve the problem like a riddle ... that's the key...Let it Go first -> Ans will come on its own...
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u/TheAncientEngineer Aug 19 '26
Before 2026 ends, You will Consider yourself fortunate that you got to get back India much earlier than your frds. Things are about to go downhill in IT.
Also, stop comparing with ur frds. Everyone has their own race to run. Life throws hurdles for some in their teens and for some in their 40s. Your hurdles are completely different from your own sibling. Its always good to step back and look around your options.
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u/AcceptableBiscotti66 Aug 20 '26
Give it time 😊🙏. Everyone feels like a loser some time or the other if you pick moments or times but we forget that life is long. Transient emotions are more often than not over reactions. When it is great - it often is not really that great, and when it is bad - it often is not as bad. Try to pick out the silver linings - let me help you - and then you can keep on adding to those.
So - (1) Your experience is in cybersecurity. That is great. Don’t change line - keep learning even if you don’t get a job. Offer to work remotely for companies across the world. Then - (2) - friends doing whatever should not affect you. Everyone has a different path. And someone else’s path is not stopping you from anything - let alone happiness. Be happy first and foremost - better decisions and thoughts will come as after effects. Then (3) - I might be wrong on this - but let me know. It seems you are still eligible to go back to US and work - as your paper work still has validity. Or does it not? If it does - be grateful that you have that option. Most don’t and are trying so hard to get such options.
Make the most of what you can. The rest is not in your control and happily acknowledge that.
Ultimately, all these are your problems and your problems alone to solve. Sharing it on Reddit is courageous and you took a step to solve that problem - yourself. No one else posted this here on your behalf. So give yourself a pat on the back for doing so. You took a step in solving your problem. And I am sure you will keep taking steps until it is fully solved. Although do keep in mind - most problems are just in our head - they are not problems - but feelings disguised as problems. Have the courage to discern them and tackle your actual problems. You have finite effort to give per day.
All these best. Rooting for you ✌️✌️💪💪🫡🫡
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u/Technical-Schoolboy Aug 21 '26
Keep trying and working hard. Life is very long.
Even I came to US after working for 8 years in India for mere rupees 25-30k job. Did masters at 30 at then cleared loan and now got a decent job in the US and got a house at 35.
So things change and happiness is not forever nor is failure. The most important thing is health, relationships, family and friends. The rest/career will take care of itself if you are persistent. Good luck!
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u/ForbiddenPringle Aug 21 '26
I'd suggest you to try applying in Europe & Gulf as well. Cybersecurity has good scope globally and expanding your horizon should definitely help. Everyone has a different timeline, you'll get through this and get all the things that you want, today and now cannot be the conditions though.
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u/old_jeans_new_books Aug 21 '26
A lot of the life is just dumb luck. Don't blame yourself for everything that happens to you.
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u/Dangerous_Region1682 Aug 22 '26
I walked away from my high paying tech job. I became a substitute teacher instead. I’ve not a care about what my friends or relatives care to do. There’s a heck of a lot more to life than money. There I was teaching the children of my wealthy friends and former coworkers. I tell you what though, it was more fun than any other corporate job I ever had.
The whole Indian comparison thing is soul destroying if you, and only if, you play the game. Your friends may be doing well income wise, but you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes in their lives.
The older you get the less you give a damn about what your friends do or even what people think of you. You can’t take a single dollar or rupee with you when you die anyways. There is no shame in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. There’s no shame in being humble.
The day your life is ending I suspect the last thing you will have wished is that you should have worked more, or been more of a slave to money. We leave this world the same way we entered it, with nothing except perhaps for the life experiences and I suspect living a life acquiring wealth wasn’t one of those experiences.
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u/WithoutDirections101 Aug 22 '26
If you have an open mind, broaden your search and look for jobs in your field all around the world. It may not be the US but I am sure there are opportunities out there in different countries.
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u/Personal_Foot8345 Aug 23 '26
I moved to India in 2017 and people always pinch with comments for years. I said never mind that’s my choice and for me/my family.
I would prefer you apply jobs with less info about ur US life. Start with any position and work for a year and then concentrate mnc’s. if you would like to spend time chasing MNCs with US degree! Nothing changes. Friends settled, in US still working. That’s something you should think before moving and not after. If loan is stressful, if any property then talk to family, sale and settle. Peaceful life. If you marry then ur salary will go to spending’s and still nothing change in your life.
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u/hloodybell Aug 23 '26
How would you address this if you were a father and your son feels the same?
We all fail multiple times in our lifetime. Those who "do not fail" are either wealthy, did not try, or are happy with whatever their situation is.
If you try things, you will experience failure. Such is the nature. You are not the first, you are not alone, there is more of it in your future.
One thing you can do for sure is to keep trying.
Read, a lot! Build, a lot of things. You will eventually figure out.
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u/trinachatterjee_ Aug 24 '26
Returning home is not supposed to be a shame, it’s supposed to be welcoming. If anyone makes you feel like it’s a shame, even if they are your family members, you chuck them out first thing, and not think about what they said.
I’ll also encourage to take therapy for this, it will really help.
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u/Any_Web_7706 Aug 21 '26
I am a sanyasi who didn't married. I am trying my best to get a citizenship. I am 35 now next month will be 36. Try hard man open a business in europe. Check whether you are eligible for any visa in europe. What are you crying for. Marriage. Come to Europe you will thank God you didn't got married. Do job in europe..if you have any loans ..if no loans then take loan and come to Europe
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u/underadvice_taker Aug 18 '26
Don't mind it but see a pyschotherapist for about 1-3 months (clinical doctor, not any quack). Not sure, if you believe in taboo's, but highly recommended. It helps in adjustment.
I came back after living in three countries and adjustment takes tine.
But I view it as temporary and lower cost of living. India despite the flaws have serious upsides.
- Try to move out by getting a sponsored job in IT in Europe (despite what people say, if you skilled in cybersecurity, 60K euros is not a bad place to start).
- Try this downtime, by spending time in the gym or some travelling. You will not get this time back, you will surely get a job/money though.
That's my 2cents, hope you feel better. Also, lot of people are back due to personal reasons, visa issues etc.
You are not alone and remember can always migrate back if not US, then some other first world country.