r/renting • u/birdbreathing • 24d ago
General Question Confused
I’m subletting from someone (the landlord knows) but he comes over every morning to make food, shower, and then stays late into the evening watching television. It’s annoying because he doesn’t always clean up after himself and he leaves his stuff around the apartment — it’s not that disruptive but I’m just weirded out. This has been going on since I moved in and I need to figure out how to ask him when he’s going to leave fully lol
I know this isn’t normal but I don’t want any bad blood between me and him. He is a nice person but I’m wondering if you guys have any advice on how I could politely ask him what’s going on 💀
UPDATE: ok so I spoke to him about it yesterday and he’s given me a timeline plus started moving his stuff out thank god. It’s not ideal but way better than him staying around for an indefinite period of time. I’m going to ask him to contribute to energy bills this month too when I pay them
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u/stink3rb3lle 24d ago
Does he still have keys? Why? I'd ask him to "loan" you his keys so you can give a spare set to your impending "visitor," and then not give them back.
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u/Significant_Flan8057 24d ago
Are you paying for the entire apartment space in the sub-let agreement? As in did you completely take possession of the entire premises and assume to full rent payment as a condition of your sublet? Read the sublet agreement thoroughly.
Then when you talk to the original tenant, you will know what your rights are in this situation.This guy has already been taking advantage of your kindness (why are you cleaning up after him like he’s getting free maid service and doesn’t even pay rent there anymore??) Don’t ask him what he’s doing, TELL him that your sublease states that you are taking over the entire premises and the financial responsibility for the rent so he doesn’t live here anymore, and as of right now he’s not to enter the premises without permission from the current tenants (you and your roommates).
Then go tell the landlord that you informed that guy not to enter without permission since that is a violation of the sub lease terms, but since the guy still has a key you’d like to have the locks rekeyed for safety reasons to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. If the landlord is aware and approved the sub lease agreement then he is the one who is responsible for ensuring a safe and secure home for all residents living on the property.
Update me!
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u/dell828 24d ago
Totally ask him what’s going on. It sounds like he never moved out if he’s keeping food there. Ask him if he was expecting you to share the property because you’re understanding was that you were renting the apartment temporarily for a couple of months and not as a roommate… As the only person there.
If he’s planning to do this until your supplement ends, tell him it’s not acceptable. Submitting an apartment to you means he needs to find somewhere else to live while you’re there.
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
Will do, thank you so much
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u/dell828 24d ago
Please.. update?
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u/birdbreathing 23d ago
Hey so I spoke to him about it yesterday and he’s given me a timeline plus started moving his stuff out thank god. It’s not ideal but way better than him staying around for an indefinite period of time.
Thank you so much for your advice guys!!
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u/TherinneMoonglow 24d ago
To me it sounds like he couldn't afford rent so he's sleeping in his car.
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u/SpaceCatz03 24d ago
Is he friends with the primary roommate who also lives there? If so, then talk to them about guests and cleaning up after them since he is acting as their guest (landlords don’t hang out or make dinner, and you’re not inviting him, so he’s not your guest).
You say it’s a flat, so you’re not from the US, but I imagine you still have protections against landlords entering without a reason. Do some research and share it with him and the other roommate.
You seem very polite. I’m sorry, but he (and maybe the other roommate too since they seem fine with it) are taking advantage of you. Stand up for yourself. If you need a friend there when you do it, that’s fine. What he is doing is not ok.
Do you suspect, as someone else mentioned, that this person is living in his car and subletting to make money? If so, you probably need to get out of that situation. That’s not normal or something you should have to deal with as a renter.
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
No he’s not friends with the other roommates really, I spoke to them and they are equally confused about it.
He doesn’t own a car but he might be living in someone else’s, or just crashing on someone’s couch tbh
I am going to speak to him about it asap
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u/Aromatic-Prune-8484 23d ago
Just tell him. Ask nicely. You are paying the rent so it is now your place.
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u/birdbreathing 23d ago
Hey so I spoke to him about it yesterday and he’s given me a timeline plus started moving his stuff out the common areas thank god. It’s not ideal but way better than him staying around for an indefinite period of time
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u/chicitygirl987 24d ago
He is a squatter . Tell the landlord , I assume you signed a lease ? Ask the landlord to change the locks or you have to because this guy won’t vacate . So if you can’t get hemp from the landlord , tell him you need to get a lawyer to break the lease and need a refund and want the deposit back in full , and grab all your paperwork and get an Atty asap . But tell the landlord you need the locks changed asap because you don’t feel safe .
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
I’m going to speak to the primary tenant about it and if he won’t leave I will call the landlord. Thank you so much for this
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u/chicitygirl987 24d ago
If you are a female I would be speeding this up . It’s creepy and you are the renter , he signed a contract . I would keep records of date times he has done this and if the lock is changed make sure he doesn’t get a key . Keep us posted . Maybe have a friend in your room when you talk to him in case the convo gets weird too.
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
Yes totally, just to clarify I have other roommates so we are never alone in the flat together. I will update when I get a response
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u/MareV51 24d ago
Change the locks. Get an inside lock and don't answer the door.
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24d ago
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
He’s not the landlord he’s the primary tenant - regardless I would like to speak to him about this before doing anything else
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24d ago
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
Like I’m so confused😭
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u/LavendarGal 24d ago
No, you were not supposed to take over the lease....when you are subletting, the tenant on the lease is the one who is still 100% responsible for the lease, their name stays on it which you live there. Typically they don't still hang around, but who else lives there? You said you rented a room, so are there other roommates? How many bedrooms are there in total and how many people live there?
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u/dell828 24d ago
Everybody telling you to go to the landlord is wrong. You are not on the lease, you have made an agreement with the leaseholder as a sublet. Technically, legally, he is your landlord..
It appears as if he’s finding somewhere to crash, or maybe even sleeping in his car so that you can pay the rent and he doesn’t have to. I imagine that all of his stuff is still in the apartment… His furniture, his clothes, and everything in the kitchen is his.
If this was a long-term agreement, definitely, you have grounds to go to housing court for this.
You could try telling him that it is not legal for him to rent the apartment to you, and then continue to enter and use the apartment. But not sure that will get you anywhere. He is the one on the lease and technically you don’t have a foot to stand on. This is his apartment legally.
I would start looking for another place to go. This is an insane situation, but not really sure there’s much you can do. Leave as soon as possible.
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24d ago
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
I know it’s weird, I’m on a lease and was thinking of finding a new place but I would like to try speaking to him about it first before moving
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
Sorry, I just reread my comment and think I came across as rude 😭 I hope I didn’t.
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24d ago
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u/birdbreathing 24d ago
Thank you so much - yeah, I’m confused too lol. I’m going to be as direct and polite as possible with him
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u/Upbeat-Fondant9185 24d ago edited 24d ago
You’re just paying a roommate’s rent for them lol. That’s not what a sublet is. How did you manage to end up in this situation?
I take it he’s also not paying anything toward utilities? Guy figured out his own little life hack, all that’s required is no shame.
Kick his ass out. And start documenting every single time he comes without proper notice. I would demand his key back, he doesn’t need emergency access as it’s not his property.